Candy and Catharsis

[Writers Bloque]

So the results of the liquored gummies.

Most were delicious, the tequila gummy worms were positively epic. But cant eat more than a couple.

The vodka bears gave me a little trouble, so I made a screwdriver to cut the vodka down, as the bears after some time were losing cohesion.

Going to try Bourbon canes.

Candy canes made with real Bourbon.

[Writers Bloque]

Tonight, wife wants to go to an EDM concert party thing in town. She won some tickets in the nurses secret santa thing at work. I have no clue as to what I am supposed to do at one of those things, I mean my leg is feeling okay, well due mostly to the pain meds and antibiotics, but I have no earthly clue about raves or dance party things. My teens and twenties was spent working, stripping, or more working and raising kids.

Wife said to watch this to understand:

It looks like a bunch of people smooshed together to me.

[msslave]

Writer. I saw the video you posted. If that's anything like what you're going to, all I can say is:

FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS

Good luck brother. Have a good time

[Writers Bloque]

Writer. I saw the video you posted. If that's anything like what you're going to, all I can say is:

FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS

Good luck brother. Have a good time

It was a thing....

It was not like the video, as it was held near the University, in a refurbished warehouse. We had 6 tickets, so I figured me and the wife, Daughter 3 and Mimi, and Bethany and Ashley, with my brother and Jenelle looking after Princess for the night. I would have left her to the others staying in the house, but they were down with bad colds.

I had no clue as to what to wear around the bouncing huddled masses, as I was never big into stuff like this, having responsibilities and all.

So I decided to wear a fishnet tank top, puffy and warm jacket vest thing, and my tighter than needed leather pants from an old costume, and tennis shoes. Wife and the ladies wore the famous LBD's and fishnets, and shoes.I had to bring my cane, as my leg was in full violent protest of what was going to happen.

We arrive early, not too early, but just as the doors were opening, and I scoped out a spot for us to gather in case of something going down. I mean this wasn't some underground euro rave illegal thing. It was sponsored by some big names in town, and there was security, but I did encounter some strange things.

The music was light Christmas music with the dance/electronic mix at the beginning, and the tickets let us have one free drink. Of course the underage girls enjoyed Shirley Temples, which to me are a bit sweet, but still, to look "cool." I had me a a Santa's sleigh with only 1 reindeer, as I was not trying to get hammered. A santa's sleigh is  a white Russian with a little cherry syrup, and a reindeer is a shot of whiskey. The last time I had one was at a Christmas casino party thing a place I worked for was having, and the bartender was serving them for tables. Technically you are supposed to share the shots, and my boss must have forgotten that rule.

Wife and the others with us were nursing Christmas versions of popular drinks, like a cosmo was jingle bells and whatever. We all talked, as we watched the place start to fill, as a waiter brought our table a divided bowl of various snacks. I was into the chex mix on steroids.Some co-worker friends of my wife's arrived and joined us at our table, and after their drinks arrived, they abducted my wife to go dance with them, as the music picked up.

I was kind of chilling out, trying to get a good mood going, when some work friends of my daughters, other secretaries, like 3 of them yanked my girls off to dance too, and Ashley and Bethany were off putting everyone's name into the raffle at the prize table.

The song ended and the MC started thanking the sponsors and us for attending, going through the charities benefiting from this party. I was at the table, watching their stuff when a dude bumped into me. I mean it was not crowded where we were, and if he was a pick pocket, sorry, my pants were so tight I could feel a germ move. But he was not after anything, and apologized for making me almost spill my whiskey shot.

He bought be another round before trying to sell me something.

Now you know you are old if you are at a party/rave and worry about what ever party favor is being offered how it will interact with your medicines.

I refused, because honestly the hardest drugs I had ever taken was smoking pot in high school. The legal drugs I had prescribed to me were mostly the low level stuff.

I am kind of afraid of how I would be stoned out of my mind, despite being stoned in the hospital. And what I know of certain party drugs, might put me back in the hospital, or the loony bin for touching everyone.

He didn't push me to buy, and left with a small crowd of people.

I nursed the beer he bought me, starting to feel the warmth, letting me know I am approaching my limit. Thank god we had a DD.

A new song started and people were approaching the DJ, everyone returned to the table to rest a bit, and then I put my request in, and the DJ looked at me funny.

I tried to steer clear of the living ameba of people dancing, but I was caught by two ladies in matching sexy santa outfits, who started bumping into me as they bounced to the music.

Fortunately I was glad I did not take narcotic pain meds, opting for 3 Ib 800's, my knee screamed at me, but I ignored it and tried to bounce my way out.

Wife looked at me, and waved. I tried to hand sign her for help, and she just held her drink up.

I was mauled. More ladies started trapping me as the music's tempo increased.

I tried to escape, and a lady selling light up things and hats came close, and using my hidden money I bought a Christmas Hat, as an excuse to escape.

I finally made it back to my wife who was laughing with everyone at me, as they had video of me looking like a deer caught in the headlights as a bunch of women were dancing around me.

Well, my song came up, and me and the wife danced, and then we sat and watched, wife won something in the raffle, a bread maker.

It was an okay time, kind of out of my element but still, not so bad, but I wont go again.

[Writers Bloque]

Today, since I was off of work, decided to again hunt for the Blessed Eggnog.

I took the kid with me, because wife said Amy has a knack for finding the better of items.

So we were driving around, talking, because I mentioned my love of Fantasy and Magic the Gathering.

So little Miss Chatty Cathy, who really opens up when you talk to her about her interests almost got left of the side of the road.

She actually tried to argue that there was no real world connections in the classics, using LOTR and The Wardrobe Saga as examples.

Oh boy. I learned just how heated she can get.

I tried explaining to her that Lewis basically used WW2 and Christian themes in it, as did Tolkien, minus the Christian themes.

She asked where in the stories?

I replied the whole damned thing.

She did not believe me.

So I took her to my Sanctuary away from home.

The nerd spot, game store.

There, winning her fifth game of Magic the Gathering: Commander. was one woman who in most circles in the cities is regarded as a walking, living repository for everything fantasy.

I let Amy meet Josie.

I told Josie what Amy told me. After the look of disbelief, I left the two ladies to debate this. Men wisely left the table to get snacks, and I wanted to buy some of the rare, naughty cards, which is a running joke for the shop, because the owner when he was still green at running the shop, and the nerd culture would get flustered when you asked for certain older cards that were reprinted to be less sexy, like "earthbind" the original art had a fairy tied up bondage style.

Lets say almost half the store that day was almost banned for asking for the Earthbind card.

But my main goal was a set of dice, because my set of dice were getting smoother on the edges, from overuse.

The girl behind the counter must be new.

I do not buy dice from the huge bin where all types of dice are. Call me OCD but it really annoyed me when I would borrow a dice set and its all different dice. So I pointed to the nine buck set, made from real stone, took the sample stone D20, one that is left out for customers to test roll (DnD players are real superstitious about their dice, going as far as to toss dice sets into the loaner bin, even if they paid alot for them, if the D20 doesn't roll a crit or a number higher than 10 on first roll.)

I tested the stone dice after purchase, and found they give close to what my old set did, so I was satisfied, when Amy returned to me looking flustered.

"That lady is scary."

"So are you and I when we are passionate about something."

"She told me some truths about what I like, and it was cool."

"She really knows her stuff, or should since she is a professor of classic literature."

"Oh."

So I asked her if anything caught her eye here.

She grabbed an older Plainswalker Deck of Magic the gathering. Kind of pricey, as it was the Chandra deck. I did not mind, because I could burn some store credit, and teach her to play.

But we left, as we were hungry.

I decided to treat her to a good meal.

The Dog House Deli.

You can build your own masterpiece of a hot dog. And they are satisfying.

She put down two hotdogs with chili, cheese, relish and onions, with sauerkraut.

I enjoyed a big hotdog with chili, cheese and frito's on it, and we washed them down with sweet tea.

And after a little walk downtown, we arrived at a bakery/ice cream shop, where I learned she too likes moose tracks ice cream.

And once we were nice and full, I hit up the rumored grocery stores in the area, and when I thought the search was done, Amy, looking at the cartons of milk, found a carton of Borden's Eggnog, hidden among the other milk cartons.

I of course snagged it and we ran out of the store.

She and I decided to take the scenic route home.

Once home she got caught up in a sewing project of my daughters, and I have not seen her since.

[Writers Bloque]

Today I am sitting at my desk, watching the cloudy sky, and I am left to wonder, can I return to my youth?

A Monday Meeting, all knives out at the table. Nothing almost gets done, except for the ever so cute and plucky Mid to Upper manager, Lauren.

She is two bosses above me, and does not flaunt it openly, unless she is trying to make a point.

She is also a partner in my crimes, little pranks that hurt no one, but breaks the tension.

Today I witnessed how scary she is.

Reminds me of.........

Miss Beyovitch. My kindergarten teacher.

I entered school with a massive chip on my shoulder. I told you all about my unclothed escape attempts before. But This freshly graduated young teacher had a quality and feel about her. I mean I did not want to be there, to be the freak in the class, held back a year to an imbecilic law, since my birthday was in November after the start date of school.

But she was there once my feral self calmed down, and turned out to be one of the best teachers I ever had. She would hug me when the other boys would bully me because I was taller and a meat pebble at the time. Not fat, but just big.

But she had a wicked side that was fun.

There was always a class competition over something like fundraising or sports.

This day. the classes were battling in sports. One of my favorite times, where I can run out all the energy I had pent up. But it came down to tug of war. We were on top for our grade, I mean I ran fast, and basically could power my way through things. But the Tug of War was sacred.

Girls watched. And I mean the "I like you, lets eat lunch together" watched. My future wife was watching. I loved her hair color, like almost old gold or darker hay. She looked at me cause our friendship was good and gave me the thumbs up.

I really did not want to be up front. The other classes laughed at me. I wanted to be in the back. No one paid attention to the back.

My teacher talked to the coach, and I was allowed to hold the end of the rope. I wrapped it around my wrist as our parents watched this field day. My dad even took time off of work to watch me. I had to show him I was strong too.

But I was scared. People were watching me. I started to lose my shit. But my teacher came up to me, as the coach was still gathering the other class to the rope.

"Writer, if you win, I will let you and the class bring in your favorite toy for play time."

"Yes ma'am!"

I mean I had male friends, and we all had Transformers. I had Devastator, the construction vehicles that you could join together to make a big robot:

I mean Optimus and Grimlock will always be my favorite, but getting to play with others with Devastator was an offer I cant refuse! (plus there was a pizza party for the winning class for each grade!)

With as much grim determination, and steeled nerves, I took hold of that rope and twisted it around my wrist.

I thought what the Autobots would do, and remembered they would tow the line.

The whistle blew, and it was on.

The other team was good, but they did not have the behemoth meat pebble to do the job of six or seven boys.

I pulled and pulled, bracing my back leg so if the line slacks I wont fall backwards. That red ribbon line was slowly coming to our side the team was struggling, and my friend Jerry screamed "Do It for the Thundercats." Poor misguided Jerry.

I dug in, and would move backwards, and I would get pulled a little forward. The girls at the guidance from the teacher was cheering for us. I got mad.

The rope was biting into my arm and hands, I was bored of this, and the look of pride on my father's face forced me to pull as hard as I could, and then the whistle sounded.

We won. Not just getting the line to our side, but I pulled the other team to the ground, and dragged them a couple of feet.

The next day......

I was literally vibrating in my seat, trying to patiently wait for play time, which lunch and nap time followed.

Soon after teaching us how to write the letter P for the twentieth time, because some of us did not get the concept.

I abhor repetition. I hated those worksheets where you had to trace the letters. I was a one and done kid. I did not care as long as I can reproduce acceptable results, nothing mattered to me.

"Pencils down, it's time to play!"

The class lost its ever loving collective mind. The girls with rainbow bright, barbie dolls and cabbage patch kids, and us men had GI Joe, Transformers, He Man, and Thundercats.

Boy was it a glorious day. I stomped the shit out of Daniels Transformers knock off. Devastator was passed around and returned all pieces remained. Then it was lunch time.

The next Friday was Pizza Party Day. OH BOY!

The room while we were outside for PE was filling with the smell of fresh hot melted cheesey goodness. Coming in, after the obligatory bathroom break/ hands washing pit stop, the lights came on, pizza served, and as it was towards the end of the school year, we got to watch a school approved movie. Some cartoon movie I never heard of nor wanted to watch, but PIZZA!

My belly was so full I almost over slept through nap time. Then we colored and played games, until it was time to go home.

Best two weeks ever.

Back to the present.

I really want to go back to that time where even the smallest, simple things brought me joy. But alas, paperwork piles, and fuming managers coming in and out of my office. If assholes could fly, this would be JFK International.

At least I have my Grapico, and Gen 1 Optimus Prime sits on my shelf. glorified cubby hole.

But man those were the days.

But Lauren is almost the reincarnation of Miss Beyovitch. Knowing just the right strings to pull to get things done, and in the meeting she treated a group of grown men and women like little kids, and the funny part was no one complained. I just sat there bored, stirring my coffee.

[Writers Bloque]

Warning: This post may seem sexist without the intention of being sexist.


Food supplies are running low. A house full of women and a girl.

Ever wanted to know what happens when the snacks run out after being snowed in?

I didn't.

Nor do I ever want to again.

I cant drive. The SUV is covered in snow, and I have to wait until the snow is gone and it is a little warmer than balls freezing cold, to check if the freeze plug blew.

I can hear my dad all over again.

"Writer, if the temp drops below water freezing, put a blanket over your hood. Or park it in the garage."

I literally have a clean space in there for the SUV, just for this cold winter.

OH NO, its a pain in the ass to back the SUV in there, I'm to tired to do it. BLAH BLAH

So, this morning, I made the command decision to bundle up, don my ruck sack and duffel bag, and brave the elements to the small grocery store on the other side of the neighborhood, ten blocks away.

I trudged through the white winter wonderland, as a friend out with his kids in their side by side, gave me a lift, at the cost of two boxes of hot cocoa, because they ran out.

I loaded the cart with everything I assumed was edible and tribe approved, then loaded my inventory with my purchases, narrowly avoided becoming a Writer Pop, as a big icicle fell where I was once standing to load my stuff up. I climbed onto the back of the side by side again, and we headed home...

Or so we thought.

On the way back, the side by side stopped, its engine died.

We spent half an hour in 14 degree weather learning that it was a fuel problem. Mainly he ran it out.

So we called Thom the Man With Every Solution to Problems you may or may not ever have.

From the depths of his tarp covered back yard, his flatbed roared to life. You could hear it over the howling wind.

We will never laugh at Thom again for covering his backyard under tarp. Or owning a weird collection of vehicles.

Securing the side by side, Mark, and his kids rode with Thom, while I was not going to sit on the cold metal of the flatbed. Once bitten, twice shy.

I stood, holding the back bar, as Thom went a blistering 3 mph, which was a bit too fast for me and my friend hypothermia.

Thom stopped at my driveway, and of course laughed. I deserved it.

I got my supplies, and stood in my garage, shaking out my duster as the snow stopped, the wind was blowing it out of the trees.

I entered the house and peace was restored. Mostly due to me buying a lot of little debbie honey buns. Then throwing them in the oven, with a tiny bit of butter, and heating them up.

Ever see grown women drool. I have.

The smell is incredible.

Now tonight for dinner, I will probably take Dad's truck, since my sisters left it here over the holidays. I pray that my dad's feelings of roughing it will not be there, because I want something hot and not made at home.

[Writers Bloque]

Talking to Amy.


Today I took Amy out, because she asked me this morning, why the boys do not notice her.

I said her beauty is not one that is flashy. I told her to stay humble, like the flower in a bed of roses.

I explained that middle school boys are dumb as all fuck. In their heads, their bodies are telling them they are men, but society says they are still kids.

I told her that she was pretty, but not a fading pretty, but one that is born of all she has and will overcome. I said to focus on her, and her alone. Never change herself to attract a boy, because then she will look desperate.

Then I let her watch this video, which highlights my point on vapid, beautiful people, who flaunt the smoke and mirrors they have, but are to be pitied, as they are as hollow as the words they speak.

A very good song, to help people understand the "Beautiful" people. Kind of wanted to play Marylin Manson's Beautiful People, but its a freaky video.


I also want Marilyn Manson's suits from this song, though I am far too poor to have a long pocket watch chain. Worn to the left, as I am left handed, and in the vest pocket for safety.