Well My grandmother made my sixth nice. But that was also the year my cool uncle came into town and we built another lego set together.
Tenth birthday.
Nothing to note of my the last four birthdays, one was just a cupcake, on my eighth birthday, because I was caught playing an inappropriate game at the camp with Future Wife and Sir's daughters.
Understand this. I was not the one who wanted to play this.
So yeah.
My tenth birthday my mom showed up to school with cupcakes, instantly making me popular. My mom left, and the rest of the day I was king turd of the shit pile. Got home. No one was there. The house was empty, which was odd.
I spent the entire afternoon alone in the house, until it grew dark, in which my mom roared into the driveway, to find me herding ants with a stick on the side porch steps.
Basically I forgot that I had to take the school bus to grandma's house, because no one was going to be home. I was a little late to my own party.
Hell my friends were even there.
Eleventh Birthday.
Sucked. Mom was in surgery to remove one of her kidneys as it solidified into a solid stone mass.
Twelfth Birthday.
St. Anne's round up, as an early birthday present, as Mom and Dad would be out of town working.
Thirteenth Birthday.
Great Aunt decided to take me to Toys R Us. Mom and dad worked later hours. Got a shit ton of legos.
Fourteenth Birthday.
This was the year I became a couple with the cute, nice smelling, but violent and moody sometimes GF. She whooped me with birthday licks. My ass was sore. No one questioned why a thirteen year old girl was allowed to whoop me. But kissing her after the birthday wish was nice.
This was also a not so good year.
A great uncle passed away. He was a WW2 veteran, and had the most epic stories to tell. He slid by as a sixteen year old when he enlisted, being tall and stocky helped. This is where the M1911 I own came from, his brother (my grandfather) then to my father, and now me. He said that gun was his ace in the hole, as it was easier to use when a Jerry would rush you, and caught you off guard. He told me war was hell, and those who watch it from the sidelines will never know how it felt to be a boy in a strange land, given two guns and told to shoot other boys because they were about what you were not about. But he said the girls were cute, the wine was good and you never got cold if you were stationed in a small town that you liberated if you carried chocolate at night.
The man fell in love with a German nurse, captured as a POW. His unit wanted to off her, just like they would have done to one of ours if they could, but then she tried to escape, killing her guard, and that love affair ended quickly. But then he met a French woman, who broke his heart because she was a working girl. He came home, and married a doughnut girl, and as they say, the rest is history.
Fifteenth Birthday.
Things were changing. Mom was pregnant again, but not due until the spring. Dad and granddad had fixed me up a dirt bike.50cc's of pure hell. GF would ride Bitch on it with me (not a derogatory term, but to be directly behind me, because it was hard to sit further back and hold on.) I rode that thing around until one of my genius siblings decided to steal it, then crash it through a retention pond's gate, and into ten feet of water. I had to get it out, and no matter how much work we did to it, it would never run again.
The hell I rained on them was stuff of legends. For an entire year all candy, and allowances were forfeit to me until I was satisfied. It was a sad and dark Easter for them. They all had a hand in it, so the Supreme Court of Family Justice had found that only 1 sibling knew where I kept the lock key and ignition key. So yeah.
Sixteeth Birthday.
Things happened. Things I cannot mention without violating the boards rules. But since I was home alone for once, and me and GF went out for bowling, a movie, dinner, and a late skate date. When I got home, on time for once, actually an hour before curfew, we were watching a movie I rented. Nothing screams Teenage Romance than "Attack of the Killer Tomato's and Surf Nazi's must Die."
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