I'm about ready to get the mid life crisis started 
Hey, anybody got a red Corvette and a hot blonde I could borrow? 
Well, I don't own a car, and I'm a brunette, so I'm out.
Plus you're way too intelligent to fit the mold of the stereotypical 'trophy wife' that is a dunce so as to make her husband seem smart
Speaking of intelligent people, I found this interview with Frank Lampard, he seems like a smart guy
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-9595921/LAMPARD-MEETS-REDKNAPP-Frank-speaks-loving-Abramovichs-approach-sacking-more.htmlFRANK LAMPARD: As a young lad just wanting to get into the West Ham first team, players like Roy Keane and Patrick Vieira seemed on another planet to me. To be mentioned in the same bracket as them is surreal, really.
Recognition like this makes you reflect and think about the important people. To go right back to the beginning, what your dad (Harry Redknapp) created at West Ham was an environment which had been lost, which was bringing through young talent. Myself, Rio Ferdinand, Joe Cole, Michael Carrick, Jermain Defoe, we all benefitted.
JAMIE REDKNAPP: Dad believed in you. That YouTube clip, where he stands up to a supporter who isn't having you, proves that.
LAMPARD: Without that first step, I would not have got anywhere near this Hall of Fame. I have huge thanks to your dad for that, and to Claudio Ranieri for taking me to Chelsea. To pay £11million for a kid at West Ham was a big deal.
I wasn't a teenage sensation, so Ranieri put his neck on the line. I didn't bring the house down in year one at Chelsea. The real moment was at the end of that first season.
I'd been in and around the England squad then Sven Goran-Eriksson left me out of the 2002 World Cup. He rang me, did everything by the book and was right – I hadn't done enough. So I went away that summer and really worked.
My second year was better, then the third year – Roman's first year – I scored 15 goals. So much of football is timing. All of a sudden Roman lands his helicopter at Harlington and changes our world.
REDKNAPP: When you say you 'worked', give me an example, Frank.
LAMPARD: I went away on holiday but just remember running. I wanted to be lean. I'd been a chubby kid at West Ham. They used to take the mickey out of me and still do sometimes, but I knew to be the midfielder I wanted to be I had to have the right engine.
We went to a place called Roccaporena in Italy for pre-season. We used to run round a dirt track – and in that second pre-season I burned everyone on those runs. I was fitter. I had a different hunger inside of me going into that second season. That was the start for me.
REDKNAPP: Say a young boy or girl is reading this interview and thinks: 'Wow, I want to be a Hall of Famer someday.' What's the best advice you can give?
LAMPARD: Only what you put in will you get out – I heard that all the time growing up. The John Terrys, the Didier Drogbas, they all had an amazing work ethic behind the scenes which you didn't see. You can have fun. That's important. But you have to give everything.
It was on the morning of Monday, January 25 that Lampard received a text message asking him to report to Stamford Bridge. There he was delivered the news that the club were going in a different direction with Thomas Tuchel coming in as his replacement.
REDKNAPP: You've stayed silent since that, Frank. How are you feeling now?
LAMPARD: My son, Freddie, was born two months ago. I've been able to enjoy that and being at home with my girls. Certainly a managerial career means much more sacrifice than as a player.
For instance, Patricia was born when I was manager at Derby and I was engrossed in my work. Being there this time has been the big positive. The other positive is reflection. I've spoken to some top managers over the last few months.
All of them, first and foremost, said: 'You're not a manager until you've been sacked.' It was a hit, but then I started the reflection process. I didn't want to sit at home and throw blame elsewhere. It was more: 'What can I do better?'
Roy Hodgson was amazing. I spoke to Roy a week after leaving Chelsea and he gave me some of the best calm, collected advice. I'm always willing to listen to these managers.
REDKNAPP: Abramovich is the sort of owner who stays silent. He's never spoken out after sacking a manager before, but he made an exception for you, Frank. He released a statement to say how much respect he had for you and what a difficult decision it was.
LAMPARD: I loved that. I could never sit here and say I have anything but appreciation for what he did for my career. I was disappointed because I felt we could change things. I saw games coming up as opportunities to get points.
Your pride takes a hit. There is no doubt about it. That's human. But with reflection, I would have been absolutely naive to think it would be any different for myself than it had been for managers in the past.
History says Chelsea make changes and sometimes they have real success off the back of it. It was never for me to go against their model. I have full appreciation to Roman for the opportunity. I can only look forward.
REDKNAPP: Did you get to say goodbye to the players?
LAMPARD: The minute the news came out, there were 10 photographers plotted up over the road from where we live, so it wasn't the easiest to leave the house. But I got incredible messages from some of the biggest names in football and I got emotional messages from some of the players.
I remember reading Reece James's one. Reece isn't a man of many words but he wrote the most incredible message. I live near the stadium. For the first week I kept my head down, staying home, spending time with the family.
But the minute I got out, there were cabbies and Chelsea fans in the streets who gave me a real lift because of how they were with me.
REDKNAPP: Have you spoken with Thomas Tuchel?
LAMPARD: I sent him a message the day he got the job. I felt it was the right thing to do. It is what it is. I remember coming into the training ground a month before and people were talking about how he had left PSG. That's football. So I sent him a message and he nicely sent me one back. People at Chelsea tell me he's a top bloke, and he's done some really positive things with the team.
Speaking as a Premier League Hall of Famer himself, Lampard says his favourite part of coaching is the challenge of improving players. Mason Mount and Reece James have gone from the academy to Chelsea first-teamers and are now expected to feature for England at Euro 2020.
REDKNAPP: Some say the transfer embargo forced your hand, but you were the first Chelsea manager to truly embrace the academy.
LAMPARD: People say: 'You had to play them.' That's not true. Those lads made me play them. Sometimes you're putting Mount ahead of a Mateo Kovacic or N'Golo Kante, or Tammy Abraham ahead of an Olivier Giroud or Michy Batshuayi.
The choices were there for me to make but the lads made me put them in. The work Neil Bath and Jim Fraser have put into that academy over the last 20 years is amazing. We've seen players play brilliantly in FA Youth Cup finals then not make the first team. I wanted to see what we could get out of the academy.
REDKNAPP: Would Mount have made it at Chelsea if you had not been manager?
LAMPARD: I'm positive he would have made it. Mason is different. It's not just talent – it's work ethic and desire. He is a tough kid.
Whether he would have come through, played 50-plus games last season and really accelerated his improvement which has seen him become one of the best players in the Premier League, I'm not sure.
It would have been easy for me to send Mason on loan. That pathway can work. But I decided that Mason needed backing and was ready to play at the top level.
REDKNAPP: You got Chelsea through this season's Champions League's group stages unbeaten. Now they're in the final. Because of your love for players like Mount and James, and long-standing love of the club, do you hope they win that trophy under Tuchel?
LAMPARD: When we lost to Bayern Munich last season (3-0 at Stamford Bridge in the first leg of the last 16), we lost in a clinical and brilliant 30 minutes from them. I said to my staff afterwards: 'This will be an incredible experience for players like Mason, Reece, Tammy, Fikayo (Tomori).'
Bayern were on a different level to everybody last year. When we analysed the Champions League appearances after the match you couldn't compare the experience between the squads. Now I really hope Chelsea can do it, for those players and for the fans.
What next for Lampard? There have been 'flattering' job offers but they landed in his inbox too soon after the Chelsea sacking and so Lampard did not dive into any deep conversations. Now, with batteries recharged, he's ready to return to work.
LAMPARD: What I wake up with every day is: 'I want to work again.' I love the idea of trying to improve individuals or a squad. I've become addicted to that. The minute I stepped into Derby to this minute now, it's something I feel compelled to do.
REDKNAPP: You went from your very first managerial job at Championship Derby to taking on a Champions League club in Chelsea. Would you do things differently if you had your time again?
LAMPARD: I think about that a lot, Jamie, and I'd do it exactly the same. When I went to Derby, people warned me to be careful about how Mel Morris operates, but he was brilliant. The day we lost to Aston Villa (in the 2019 Championship play-off final), my instant feeling was of letting down Mel.
When Chelsea came knocking, he was so open. He told me: 'Chelsea is your club so if you feel it, do it.' I understood the accusations of 'he doesn't deserve it'. No one gets the job at Chelsea after a year at Derby.
My club career helped make that happen. But I wanted to take on that challenge. I had played for 20 years under incredible managers, had a really positive year at Derby. I knew how I wanted to do it. I made the decision with a lot of thought. I wouldn't change it.
REDKNAPP: Is there a part of you that wonders whether further down the line, once you've got more experience, managed other clubs, had success elsewhere, maybe you could be back at Chelsea someday? Jose Mourinho did it.
LAMPARD: I don't know and I don't see that right now. That's too far down the road, Jamie. I want to manage a huge club again and I want to manage it to success. Everyone knows how I feel about Chelsea and that will never change. But there may be other opportunities along the way, another pathway, so we'll see.