Wifey: Hey, white girl, did you know Miss Myanmar is gay?
Me: So?
Wifey: So you're always saying only hot women say they're gay and not lesbians, like me and your mom and stepmom and Summer.
Me: So she's hot?
Wifey: Yes.
Me: As hot as you?
Wifey: I'd say no.
Me: You don't think she's as hot as you because she's not Japanese.
Wifey: I didn't say that. I'm just happy to have more hot women who say they're gay and not lesbians.
Me: What is the fucking difference anyway?
Wifey: Stop swearing! And Lesbians are either the hot porno kind, or fat and ugly ones who ride around on motorcycles.
Me: You are such an egomaniac. Too hot to be a Lesbian, and even some pageant winner isn't hotter than you because she's not Japanese.
Wifey: Having rational conversations with you is pointless.
Me: Then marry the gay pageant winner, she can tell everyone how she's not as hot as her Japanese-American wife.
Wifey: I think we're done talking for now.
Me: You'll be back in 5 minutes.
5 minutes, give or take, later.
Wifey: By the way, I am not an egomaniac, white girl.