This time of year is always slim for us and I cannot get my mind to stop telling me i'm going to lose everything. Every year this happens and every year I am good, but fuck.
I’m an attorney, and I had a lot of financial problems going into the pandemic. And I spent three years living hand to mouth as a solo practitioner, working off the kitchen table and trying not to let the family know how bad things really were.
I’m sure you’ve tried everything, so don’t be offended. But here are my secrets for sleeping when you’re worried as shit. First, clear your mind. Do not allow yourself to think about things. If possible, I have absolutely no inner conversations. When worries would appear in my head, I would picture myself putting them in a barn, and closing the door. “I’m not going to think about that right now.”
Some nights that barn would absolutely be bulging at the seams, but I always tried to return to a neutral quiet space. I found that if I could do that for about 15 minutes, I would usually drift off and sleep.
If you have any training in meditation, another technique is to recite a mantra. I have two different ones. But if you focus on the mantra, it also helps clear your mind. Because it’s difficult to worry about taxes when you are mentally reciting the ancient mystics. “ Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ.”
If those things fail, there’s always masturbation. LOL. Wishing you the best, because I certainly empathize. I’ve been fortunate. And I survived the pandemic and related financial downturns. Things are going much better for me now. I don’t have much trouble sleeping.