This one strikes home hard for me. No wet noodle needed, it wasnt what you said, but how you said it.
It took me over a year before I was comfortable enough to have sex after David. It wasnt fully because I didnt trust men, it was because that intimacy was tarnished. Whenever I got close to sleeping with somebody, I'd have flashbacks. Just being nude in front of a guy made me shake. Therapy, close friends, and a guy I trusted since childhood got me through that, so the word rape, is a touchy one for me.
I like it a little rough, and that should be no secret by now. Push me into furniture, man handle me where you want me and what position. Grab my neck/throat. Even a few slaps here and there. Call me some names and tell me that I belong to you. Dont tell me you want to rape me. After many many years, I've finally been able to whisper to guys that I want them to "rape me" I know that what happens next is exactly what I want.
Just change up the words next time, see if that works. You still get your point across, get your desires out there and use your word, and she may feel a bit safer/comfortable with it.
"I'm going to f@#$ you so hard you're going to think you've been raped."
I've been told that during some heavy petting. Nearly ripped the zipper on his pants trying to get them off. That's just a person experience.
Im not going to tell you never say it, just be careful with it, love.