I understand the desire but not the lisp/mannerisms

[Pervertedneighbor]

I completely understand the idea of being attracted to other men and not attracted to women.   I understand that looking at a woman naked and touching her doesn't make your dick hard, that seeing another man's body naked, seeing his erection excites you.
I understand all of that the same way I understand heterosexuality.
But what I don't understand is the the lisp/the mannerisms/the flaming.
It's not like men who do that are even being effeminate, because I don't know any women
who talk like that.  I've known several men who were gay who didn't talk that way.
I wonder if it's not some sort of an attention-seeking issue, and when I say that, I mean neurotic.

[Well Behaved Lady]

I ask myself that very question when I read some of your posts....are you doing it for attention seeking purposes?

[_priapism]

So fundamentally idiotic, one doesn't know where to begin.  So I won't.

If you have (honestly) "known several men who were gay who didn't talk that way," why don't you show them what you've written here, and ask them to comment.  I'd be interested to hear their thoughts.

[Pervertedneighbor]

So typical to have my question attacked rather than answered.

I was not being facetious.

Why should I ask a gay man who is just going about his life why he DOESN'T go around advertising his sexuality every minute of his life?

[Well Behaved Lady]

Idiot

[staci]

Neighbor, rather than call you names and critique your question, I would guess the answer would be dependent on the gay persons surroundings and companions. Like every lesbian does not have short hair and wear dungarees, a guy that is out would be more likely to care less about what you think of him.
Kind of hard to phrase a question on the internet and as hard to interpret it correctly. Keep asking dude.

[Pervertedneighbor]

A question was implied.  Does "why" have to be attached to make something a question?

[IdleBoast]

The phrase you are grasping so clumsily for is "camp", and you may as well ask why some lesbians crop their hair short and wear dungarees.

Because they feel comfortable like that.

Not every person who acts outside strict heterosexual stereotyped expectations is actually gay or lesbian.

My 16 year old son is very fussy about his clothes, has floppy purple hair, wears nail varnish, and tends to stamp his feet if things don't his way.  His girlfriend seems to like him that way.

[MissBarbara]

So fundamentally idiotic, one doesn't know where to begin.  So I won't.

If you have (honestly) "known several men who were gay who didn't talk that way," why don't you show them what you've written here, and ask them to comment.  I'd be interested to hear their thoughts.

Perfectly put.

And the same goes for WBL's response.

If it were an honest inquiry, I'd have been happy to take the time and offer an explanation. But it isn't, so I won't.

[phtlc]

Neighbor, rather than call you names and critique your question, I would guess the answer would be dependent on the gay persons surroundings and companions. Like every lesbian does not have short hair and wear dungarees, a guy that is out would be more likely to care less about what you think of him.
Kind of hard to phrase a question on the internet and as hard to interpret it correctly. Keep asking dude.

It's a shame more people can't just answer questions like you did. I don't know the OP, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that while the question does seem ignorant and not well thought out, his intention may not have been to insult or provoke.


Ignorance is not necessarily malicious. The best way to counter ignorance is to inform rather than attack.

[MissBarbara]

Neighbor, rather than call you names and critique your question, I would guess the answer would be dependent on the gay persons surroundings and companions. Like every lesbian does not have short hair and wear dungarees, a guy that is out would be more likely to care less about what you think of him.

Kind of hard to phrase a question on the internet and as hard to interpret it correctly. Keep asking dude.

It's a shame more people can't just answer questions like you did. I don't know the OP, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that while the question does seem ignorant and not well thought out, his intention may not have been to insult or provoke.


Ignorance is not necessarily malicious. The best way to counter ignorance is to inform rather than attack.

The point, phtlc, is that this poster has posed the same type of "question" elsewhere on the Board, and, based on both his questions and responses, his intention is clearly not to seek and understand an honest answer. Just read the wording of the OP, and it's clear that that's again the case. And that, and not presumptions of ignorance, was the reason I and others here responded as we did.

As I mentioned above, I am always willing to take the time on this Board to explain a concept someone doesn't understand, especially one like this where I can speak from some authority and experience. In the past Members have asked honest questions, based on a genuine sense of inquiry, and I have taken the time to respond to them. This, in my view, does not appear to be one of those times.

[IdleBoast]

https://xkcd.com/1053/

[phtlc]

Neighbor, rather than call you names and critique your question, I would guess the answer would be dependent on the gay persons surroundings and companions. Like every lesbian does not have short hair and wear dungarees, a guy that is out would be more likely to care less about what you think of him.

Kind of hard to phrase a question on the internet and as hard to interpret it correctly. Keep asking dude.

It's a shame more people can't just answer questions like you did. I don't know the OP, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that while the question does seem ignorant and not well thought out, his intention may not have been to insult or provoke.


Ignorance is not necessarily malicious. The best way to counter ignorance is to inform rather than attack.

The point, phtlc, is that this poster has posed the same type of "question" elsewhere on the Board, and, based on both his questions and responses, his intention is clearly not to seek and understand an honest answer. Just read the wording of the OP, and it's clear that that's again the case. And that, and not presumptions of ignorance, was the reason I and others here responded as we did.

As I mentioned above, I am always willing to take the time on this Board to explain a concept someone doesn't understand, especially one like this where I can speak from some authority and experience. In the past Members have asked honest questions, based on a genuine sense of inquiry, and I have taken the time to respond to them. This, in my view, does not appear to be one of those times.

I haven't really followed this poster, so I'll have to take your word on it. From the OP I saw a pretty dumb question for sure, but without prior knowledge of this person I assumed it to just be a case of the OP being maybe a little slow on the uptake (not saying that as an insult but rather just as an observation). Unless I am certain someone is trying to be a jerk I tend to err on the side of courtesy, something I often don't see here.

[Lois]

Strange.  I've met straight men that have the same mannerisms the OP describes.  So I don't think it is necessarily a gay thing.

[MissBarbara]

Strange.  I've met straight men that have the same mannerisms the OP describes.  So I don't think it is necessarily a gay thing.

Add to that, "the lisp/the mannerisms/the flaming" is far from a universal thing among gay men. I know a lot of gay men, and it's far from the norm.

Now that I think about it, perhaps that is not an affectation at all. Perhaps straight men talking in a "macho voice" is the affectation, and gay men feel no compulsion to affect that.

[Lois]

The majority of gay men I know do not lisp/flame.

Clearly it is just a stereotype, so much so that we assume men that have these mannerisms are gay, whether they really are or not.

[MissBarbara]

The majority of gay men I know do not lisp/flame.

Clearly it is just a stereotype, so much so that we assume men that have these mannerisms are gay, whether they really are or not.

The whole list/flame thing is a stereotype, and one that's aggressively employed in popular media, especially comedies.

A similar stereotype is the whole butch/bull dyke lesbian thing...

[Lois]

Butch women are fucking HAWT!

[MissBarbara]

Butch women are fucking HAWT!

I couldn't agree more!

But in my (somewhat limited) experience, they're no less feminine than any other woman.

[Athos_131]

If Gia saw the OP...

#Resist