I just had an epiphany about my nightmares, and daytime terrors from children. I was thinking about how this is a safe place for me, because I can't be exposed to pictures of children (Even innocent ones without any Sexual context) or true stories from victims.
Incidentally, not just of rape, and incest, but other traumas. Grief, bullying, gender disphoria, poverty/homelessness, and lack of autonomy. I can't do that any more, i burned out, so I can only really stand to deal with Adults, and their childhood experiences which may contribute to their emotional problems.
I mostly fixated on their looks, the proportions like the head-to-shoulders ratio, but writing about it here (It's really helped me process years of it) and changing the details to protect their identities also masked the real subconscious fear itself.
It's not really so much that they might not be as innocent as they appear. It's that they might tell me how they lost that innocence. Like so many have before, for years, starting with my own sister opening up about her step-father's Covert Incest. (Sexual harassment.)
Huh! That's why it's strangers that trigger me! ? Maybe, part of it. I know this is only part of it, but another piece of the puzzle that's never done. I know children, there's little girls next door on both sides, and they don't trigger me, because i know them, and I know they haven't been victimized.
It's the ones I don't know, and the fear that I may find out. That I may have to go through their horror all over again, so maybe I can help them stop reliving it. It's really taken it's toll.