Here's what I learned today:
There's a direct connection between Santa Claus and hookers.
No, Santa and his wife are still happily married, and, despite their ages, their sex life remains robust and vibrant. The old guy has not need to use the service of hookers himself.
However, Saint Nicholas, an actual historical figure who served as a bishop in a city in Turkey in the early 4th century, was the historical model for the figure of Santa Claus (and you don't have to know a word of Greek to see how the name "Santa Claus" derives from Saint Nicholas).
Here's what happened:
St. Nicholas was bishop of a city in Asia Minor -- modern-day Turkey -- on the Mediterranean coast. In that city there was a pious widower who had unmarried young daughters. He was a poor man, his poverty precluded him from providing his daughters with wedding dowries, and he feared that their not being able to marry would condemn them to a life of prostitution. St. Nicholas, realizing the young women’s plight, came to the family’s home on three consecutive nights, each time bearing a bag full of gifts for each of the daughters. The gifts provided them with their needed dowries, and they all happily married.
Today, the Catholic Church considers St. Nicholas to be the Patron Saint of Prostitutes. So, the next time you’re at a Christmas party and went to spark a lively conversation, mention the connection between Santa and prostitutes. You should get some lively responses!