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CJ and KitKats super horny ghost adventure! (parody, ScFi)

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ChirpingGirl

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This is a work of fiction.  You must be 18 or over to read this story.  In real life, sex with ghosts often causes ectoplasmic discharge.  This story is provided for entertainment purposes only.  The author does not condone any sexual activity with ghosts under 18 in real life.

KitKat was arranging various personal knickknacks on her brand new desk of her brand new paranormal investigations business. Her dream of seeking out the paranormal... and investigating it had finally come true. The name plate on her desk was well polished and let everyone who looked at it know she was lead investigator. She moved the plate a little to the left, then to the right, then back to it's original position. She sat back waiting for her very first call to come in. But minutes turned into hours, then days without a single call. She occupied herself by sticking sharpened pencils into the ceiling above her. She passed out on her desk, and pencils fell from the ceiling onto her head. She had stuck a pencil up her left and right nostrils. Suddenly the phone rang waking KitKat up. She answered the phone with the pencils firmly lodged up her nostrils.

"CJ and KitKat's paranormal investigations! We'll believe anything you say if you pay us!"

She pulled the pencils out.

"Yes, sir, we're serious. Yes, we most certainly do investigate creepy old places."

She writes the information being given to her down.

"Oh, yes, absolutely! We can be there in just a couple of hours. We'll see you then!"

KitKat hangs up.

"We got one!"

KitKat slams her desk, not realizing there's no alarm button there.

"Oh, right, we don't have an alarm."

She puts an empty plastic cup on her desk.

"We got one!"

She smashes the plastic cup making a loud crushing plastic sound.

it was a couple of hours later and KitKat was outside of the building to be investigated. She was waving an EMF detector around in an attempt to make it look like she knew what she was doing. A car approached. It was a Delorean that had been tricked out to be an identical replica of the back to the future 2 time machine. The car stopped just a few feet from KitKat and the gull-wing door flew open. An insanely beautiful young blonde woman  :emot_shades: stepped out. She was dressed in a screen accurate Ghost Busters jump suit with all the equipment. Her extremely expensive proton pack replica was already on her back.

"Never fear, I is here!" CJ said as she closed the gull-wing door of her Delorean.

"Did you just get back from Comic-Con, or is it Halloween and I forgot?"

"No, it's the fourth of July."

"It is?." KitKat said, genuinely perplexed.

Fireworks are exploding in the sky nearby.

The owner of the haunted property approached and noticed CJ.

"Thank god! The Ghost Busters are here!"

"We're ready to believe you." CJ said.

"Seriously? You're seriously gonna go with this?" KitKat asked.

CJ shrugged. The owner told them his story.

"I want to renovate this property, but I know it's haunted!"

"Work crews running, screaming?" KitKat asked.

"No, they refuse to leave! I had to call the police just to get them out."

"People don't usually refuse to leave a haunting." KitKat said as she took notes.

"This building used to be a house of ill repute."

CJ stood there with a puzzled look on her face, then she pulled her smartphone out of her pocket.

"He means it was a whore house." KitKat said.

"Oh! You mean this is where homeys got dey freak on, and bitches got paid?" CJ said.

"Please don't act black in front of the client."

"You have to help! No work is getting done! I'm losing hundreds of thousands of dollars!"

"I lost eighty grand helping her start a fucking paranormal investigation business." CJ said angrily.

"Please, I need your help!"

"We're here to help. Just leave it to us." KitKat said.

"Thank you! Thank you, Ghost Busters! Here are the keys to all the locked doors that lead to rooms where horrific Hooker murders occurred."

The property owner goes to his car and leaves.

Kitkat inspects the keys.

"Who ya gonna call?" CJ asked.

"Take that shit off!" KitKat demanded.

"Ok." CJ said completely dejected.

CJ Goes back to her car to remove her "shit".


To be continued.



Offline herschel

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Reply #1 on: January 30, 2017, 08:34:17 AM
Me, I'm perplexed too. How does CJ translate from Chirping Girl? Or does it? I don't know, that's why I'm asking. Or do you pronounce 'girl' as 'jirl' where you come from?

Anyway, CJ or whoever, I've admired your rambunctious sense of humor since the day I first even looked at your avatar, but this story (so far anyway) reeks with the spirit of the Keystone Kops, the Marx brothers, Larry, Curly, Moe and all the rest of the hallowed saints of slapstick, and I say that as a devoted fan of all of them.

I hope and trust KitKat is game for being singled out for this travesty, because what they say about imitation being the best form of flattery.



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2 on: January 30, 2017, 11:32:22 AM
It is a travesty, and I can't stop laughing! It's hilarious! :^)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


ChirpingGirl

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Reply #3 on: January 30, 2017, 03:00:00 PM
Me, I'm perplexed too. How does CJ translate from Chirping Girl? Or does it? I don't know, that's why I'm asking. Or do you pronounce 'girl' as 'jirl' where you come from?

Anyway, CJ or whoever, I've admired your rambunctious sense of humor since the day I first even looked at your avatar, but this story (so far anyway) reeks with the spirit of the Keystone Kops, the Marx brothers, Larry, Curly, Moe and all the rest of the hallowed saints of slapstick, and I say that as a devoted fan of all of them.

I hope and trust KitKat is game for being singled out for this travesty, because what they say about imitation being the best form of flattery.

CJ is what everyone calls me in real life because no one is allowed to address me as Cricket. C for Cricket, J for my middle name.

CJ.  :D



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #4 on: January 30, 2017, 05:03:36 PM
KitKat removed a large bag of various ghost detecting equipment from her car. She sat the bag down and inspected it's contents. CJ, having removed her "shit", returned to KitKat and this time she was wearing her cool 80's leather jacket.

"Speaking of shit." CJ said.

"EMF detector. Spirit box.  Infrared camera..."

"Tobin's spirit guide?"

KitKat zipped up the bag and picked it up.

"Let's get in there!" KitKat said very excited.

CJ pulled a Beretta 92FS out of her jacket.

"Let's do it!"

KitKat was shocked.

"Where the hell did you get that thing!?"

"From some dude I know."

"Put it away, John McClane, we're hunting ghosts not taking on terrorists."

"If there are evil ghosts in there, I'ma fuck 'em up!"

"The only thing you're gonna fuck up is private property. Put that thing away!"

"Fine!"

CJ puts the gun back into her jacket.

They enter the creepy old building and are immediately hit with an odd smell.

"Listen! You smell that?" KitKat said as she sniffed the air.

"Yeah, it's a combination of tanning oil and poop."

CJ let's the front door slam shut.

"I want to set up some infrared cameras."

KitKat sat the bag down and removed some infrared cameras. CJ looked around and found a strange old statue. It was a statute of a woman giving a man a blowjob. But the man's face was not the face of a normal man, It was the face of some kind of demon. The look on the demons face was not of pleasure, but of pain. CJ didn't get it's significance and put it back on the shelf.

"Here, set this up over there." KitKat handed CJ a camera.

"You know my motto: there's always someone better for the job."

CJ pushed the camera back to KitKat.

"Fine, I'll just do all the work while you stand around looking like an 80's hair band whore."

"I wasn't even alive in the 80's."

KitKat sighs deeply.

To be continued.



Offline msslave

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Reply #5 on: January 30, 2017, 06:47:21 PM
Great farce...giving me a few chuckles. (That's a lot for a grumpy old guy)
Looking forward to the next part.

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


KitKat

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Reply #6 on: January 30, 2017, 07:04:43 PM
OMG! I fucking love it. You are so hilarious.  :-*



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #7 on: January 30, 2017, 07:24:08 PM
CJ and KitKat began their investigation of the creepy old building. KitKat wore a pair of infrared goggles and waved an EMF detector around.

"There's a cold spot right there on the floor!" KitKat said.

"It's a dead rat."

"Ugh!" KitKat was disgusted.

CJ kicked the dead rat down the hallway.

"Why don't we split up?" KitKat asked.

"I got a better idea. Why don't you go that way."

"Yeah."

"And I'll go home."

CJ starts to head for the front door, but KitKat grabs her jacket and pushes her the other way.

CJ walks down the creepy hallway with her flashlight in one hand, and her phone in the other. She's tweeting: "In shitty old house with @KitKat. Smells like poop. Wanna go home." She gets an immediate reply from KitKat: "KitKats do not smell like poop and are the perfect treat for any time of the day." CJ didn't realize KitKat's twitter was that of the candy bar and was immediately blocked.

"Son of a bitch, Kit Kat blocked me!"

A strange spiritual energy surrounds CJ and suddenly the shitty old building looks brand new. It's the 1920's. Or 30's. CJ couldn't tell the difference so it didn't matter. Prostitutes were escorting men into rooms. CJ followed one such couple into a large room. The extremely fat man was on all fours on top of the bed as the woman behind him had a surprise for the man.

"Who's been a bad boy?" The woman asked.

"I've been such a bad, bad boy!"

The woman used some sort of ancient homemade strap on and rammed it into the fat man's ass. Seeing this made CJ immediately sick.

"I'm a bad boy!" the fat man who was in extreme pain screamed.

CJ nearly threw up at the vision of horror before her as the ghostly apparition of the woman fucked the man harder and faster. But thankfully the horror suddenly ended and the room returned to it's dilapidated state. CJ was disgusted and horrified at what she'd seen.

"Old timey people were fucked up!" She screamed as she backed out of the room and slammed the door shut.

KitKat was right behind her. CJ backed into her and the sensation of another person on her backside or anywhere near her own ass horrified her after what she just saw and she screamed in terror.

To be continued.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2017, 07:25:53 PM by ChirpingGirl »



KitKat

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Reply #8 on: January 30, 2017, 07:27:38 PM
 :emot_laughing:

I love it!



Offline herschel

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Reply #9 on: January 30, 2017, 07:36:51 PM
Gaw-lee Sarge! This is fun!



KitKat

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Reply #10 on: January 30, 2017, 07:43:01 PM
I just hope an incubus doesn't rape me.  :o



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #11 on: January 30, 2017, 07:43:55 PM
I just hope an incubus doesn't rape me.  :o

Spoilers.  :facepalm:



KitKat

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Reply #12 on: January 30, 2017, 07:44:41 PM
Oh no!  :emot_laughing:



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #13 on: January 30, 2017, 11:21:23 PM
CJ turned around to see it was KitKat.

"Oh, it's just you."

KitKat takes her goggles off.

"Find anything interesting?" KitKat asked.

"Just some fat dude getting pegged."

CJ continued down the hallway. KitKat wondered what she meant. The two walked into a large room that like the rest of the place had seen better days. But this room was strange...er. The spiritual energy returned and transformed the room back to it's former glory.

"Incredible! Trans dimensional transformation!" KitKat was amazed.

"I'm not calling this room Caitlyn."

A man, a naked man covered in blood stands in the middle of the room with candles and various ritualistic items around him. He's holding a bloody ceremonial knife and is reciting some ancient incantation.

"That language is Sumerian, possibly Babylonian." KitKat said.

CJ laughs.

"You fuckin' don't know what it is!"

The ghost of a hooker who had been stabbed in the stomach walks through CJ and KitKat. Clutched in her hand is an ancient book. The man doesn't notice her, he's too busy with his ceremony. The woman drops the book, and falls to her knees. The room returns to normal.

"Amazing! A temporal cross dimensional rip!" KitKat said excited.

"Ok, you keep saying shit like that and I'm gonna slap you silly."

"Don't you get it? There's an intelligent force at work here."

"No there isn't. Obviously a septic line is broken somewhere and the fumes from the poop  are causing us to hallucinate."

"You can't explain every paranormal occurrence away by saying it's poop fumes."

The floor beneath them suddenly starts to give way. KitKat can't help but make a snide remark.

"I guess we're about to fall to our deaths because of poop fumes, huh?"

CJ can barely get out...

"Fuck y..."

Before the floor crumbles and they fall through, screaming as they go. They end up in the basement surrounded by floor debris and skeletons. Skeletons everywhere. Many of them on top of each other in sexual positions.

To be continued.



KitKat

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Reply #14 on: January 30, 2017, 11:26:30 PM
 :o



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #15 on: January 31, 2017, 02:25:23 AM
CJ and KitKat recovered from their fall. CJ checked all her most important places to make sure they were ok.

"I'm ok! Something broke my fall." CJ said.

That something is KitKat. CJ fell on top of her, and was in the "missionary position" on top of her.

"It's me, you blonde moron."

CJ wiggled her crotch around on KitKat's.

"Your very first girl on girl experience! You're welcome." CJ said.

"Get off of me!"

KitKat grabbed CJ's boobs and pushed her off.

They both brushed the dust and debris off, then had a good look around.

"These people are dead for sure." CJ said.

"Look at them. They were having sex when they died."

"Basement must have been where the ugly old toothless bitches worked for cheap." CJ said as she kicked a toothless skull.

KitKat reaches under the debris and finds the old book the hooker ghost dropped.

"Look at this." KitKat said.

"What is it, the Kama Sutra: prohibition era edition? 23 things I'd like to skidoo to you!"

KitKat opens the book.

"Incubus demons!!!!" Kitkat said surprisingly happy as if she wanted it to be about Incubus demons.

"I love Incubus."

"Not the band, the demon. An incubus is a Lilin-demon in male form who, according to mythological and legendary traditions, lies upon women in order to engage in sexual activity with them."

"So, like every man I've ever known? What a fuckin' shock."

"This book tells of an incubus who inhabits the bodies of mortal men."

"So it's been in every man I ever knew. It's probably in my father right now. Let's go cut his head off and burn the body!"

"I don't think that would be the best way to get the Incubus out of him."

"We could try it."

"I need to study this book."

KitKat flips through the book as the ghostly apparition of a woman appears near a doorway. CJ notices the ghost, but says nothing to KitKat. The ghost motions for CJ to follow her, and she does.

To be continued.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2017, 02:27:02 AM by ChirpingGirl »



Offline herschel

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Reply #16 on: January 31, 2017, 02:28:53 AM
Sounds like one of my recurring dreams. I don't think it's from poop fumes.



ChirpingGirl

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Reply #17 on: January 31, 2017, 02:37:54 AM
Never underestimate the poop fumes.  :roll:



KitKat

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Reply #18 on: January 31, 2017, 05:11:39 AM
Awesome. Keep going Chirp.



Offline Sensualtravler

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Reply #19 on: January 31, 2017, 05:13:45 AM
CJ and KitKat recovered from their fall. CJ checked all her most important places to make sure they were ok.

"I'm ok! Something broke my fall." CJ said.

That something is KitKat. CJ fell on top of her, and was in the "missionary position" on top of her.

"It's me, you blonde moron."

CJ wiggled her crotch around on KitKat's.

"Your very first girl on girl experience! You're welcome." CJ said.

"Get off of me!"

KitKat grabbed CJ's boobs and pushed her off.

They both brushed the dust and debris off, then had a good look around.

"These people are dead for sure." CJ said.

"Look at them. They were having sex when they died."

"Basement must have been where the ugly old toothless bitches worked for cheap." CJ said as she kicked a toothless skull.

KitKat reaches under the debris and finds the old book the hooker ghost dropped.

"Look at this." KitKat said.

"What is it, the Kama Sutra: prohibition era edition? 23 things I'd like to skidoo to you!"

KitKat opens the book.

"Incubus demons!!!!" Kitkat said surprisingly happy as if she wanted it to be about Incubus demons.

"I love Incubus."

"Not the band, the demon. An incubus is a Lilin-demon in male form who, according to mythological and legendary traditions, lies upon women in order to engage in sexual activity with them."

"So, like every man I've ever known? What a fuckin' shock."

"This book tells of an incubus who inhabits the bodies of mortal men."

"So it's been in every man I ever knew. It's probably in my father right now. Let's go cut his head off and burn the body!"

"I don't think that would be the best way to get the Incubus out of him."

"We could try it."

"I need to study this book."

KitKat flips through the book as the ghostly apparition of a woman appears near a doorway. CJ notices the ghost, but says nothing to KitKat. The ghost motions for CJ to follow her, and she does.

To be continued.

http://s25.postimg.org/fgga78a67/image.gif
KitKat removed a large bag of various ghost detecting equipment from her car. She sat the bag down and inspected it's contents. CJ, having removed her "shit", returned to KitKat and this time she was wearing her cool 80's leather jacket.

"Speaking of shit." CJ said.

"EMF detector. Spirit box.  Infrared camera..."

"Tobin's spirit guide?"

KitKat zipped up the bag and picked it up.

"Let's get in there!" KitKat said very excited.

CJ pulled a Beretta 92FS out of her jacket.

"Let's do it!"

KitKat was shocked.

"Where the hell did you get that thing!?"

"From some dude I know."

"Put it away, John McClane, we're hunting ghosts not taking on terrorists."

"If there are evil ghosts in there, I'ma fuck 'em up!"

"The only thing you're gonna fuck up is private property. Put that thing away!"

"Fine!"

CJ puts the gun back into her jacket.

They enter the creepy old building and are immediately hit with an odd smell.

"Listen! You smell that?" KitKat said as she sniffed the air.

"Yeah, it's a combination of tanning oil and poop."

CJ let's the front door slam shut.

"I want to set up some infrared cameras."

KitKat sat the bag down and removed some infrared cameras. CJ looked around and found a strange old statue. It was a statute of a woman giving a man a blowjob. But the man's face was not the face of a normal man, It was the face of some kind of demon. The look on the demons face was not of pleasure, but of pain. CJ didn't get it's significance and put it back on the shelf.

"Here, set this up over there." KitKat handed CJ a camera.

"You know my motto: there's always someone better for the job."

CJ pushed the camera back to KitKat.

"Fine, I'll just do all the work while you stand around looking like an 80's hair band whore."

"I wasn't even alive in the 80's."

KitKat sighs deeply.

To be continued.

 kasper1414king AT yahoo DOT com

Seems apropos.


moderator edit - email address format revised
« Last Edit: February 01, 2017, 04:09:48 AM by MintJulie »

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