Better than being 0 for 5.
Not getting that level of sympathy from my Peruvian. I even get grief for masturbating in bed, not because I’m masturbating, but because she’s sure I’ll make a mess in the bed and she’ll have to change the sheets: ‘Can’t you do that in the bathroom?’
Among many other things she’s skeptical about, I have to reassure her I have some experience doing this, nearly 50 years worth, and know how to do it without making a mess.