KRISTEN'S BOARD
KB - a better class of pervert

News:

So who got laid last night?

Guest · 153608

0 Members and 7 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,160
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-1166
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1500 on: December 31, 2021, 06:38:45 AM
Skewers and rubber bands and tissue paper,
Good way to go for a splint.



Offline Clitical Thinking

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 2,141
    • Woos/Boos: +432/-17
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1501 on: December 31, 2021, 07:36:26 AM
Speaking of splints, did you ever manage to break your dick off while looking at one of Shiela's pics?  :emot_laughing:



Offline Shiela_M

  • POY 2020, 2021, & 2022
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 6,165
    • Woos/Boos: +3300/-6
    • Gender: Female
  • I said it's weird, not that I wouldn't do it.
Reply #1502 on: January 01, 2022, 01:52:43 AM
It's kind of a long time coming but I'll catch you all up. So obviously because I'm not feeling well, I did not last night. However, the week of Christmas while KB was hiatus, I hooked up with Allan three times. They were like the other times, pretty hot and heavy and a whole lot of fun. Christmas eve however was much different. It was a bit earlier in the evening, and we took our time. I thought it was going to be another night like the others, but he held me back. Forced me to slow it down. It was really nice to slow it down and enjoy all there is of him. I left many of teeth marks on his chest and shoulders. He seems like his nipples licked. He's also a fan of me swallowing. I love watching him roll and squirm until he releases.



Offline ObiDongKenobi

  • Global Moderator
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 3,185
    • Woos/Boos: +1765/-3
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1503 on: January 01, 2022, 03:54:10 PM
........ He's also a fan of me swallowing. ..........

Who wouldn't be  ;D

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about


Offline MintJulie

  • ~. Version Number 9.15.0 ~
  • Super Freak
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 10,922
    • Woos/Boos: +1808/-23
    • Gender: Female
  • Madame Sheriff
Reply #1504 on: January 01, 2022, 05:08:20 PM
It has been a long time since Dan and I had sex. The last two weeks I've been on vacation without him, and he was gone for a couple of weeks before that. I missed him so much.
This was my best New Years Eve ever.
Just he and I for the night, with a couple of football games on mute in the afternoon and evening, while we talked. I donned some lingerie that he has never seen around 9:00 to get his mind off of football. We had a fire. I gave him one late Christmas gift, which was some silk boxers. He looked scrumptious in them. About 11:00 we took our party to the bedroom and we took our time with massages and just enjoying being together. Things started heating up about 11:45 as the television played in then background.
With 5 minutes to go in the year I guided him into me and he slowly and tenderly made love to me talking sweetly and telling me how much he loves me. When the ball dropped, things heated up even more as he lifted my legs over his shoulders and he really picked up the pace.
He didn't last long after this. I was okay that I didn't have my moment, because he enjoyed his so much. Then he did something he has never done. He pulled out of me and went down on me orally. He not ejaculating in the last month left a large deposit and he cleaned me up quite well I must say. I may have pulled some of his hair out while trying to pull his face into me deeper. He did at one time say, "Christ babe, you're hurting me." 
"Sorry. Got carried away." 
haha
Anyways, he got me to my happy place. It was a lovely way to ring in the New Year.
More football today it seems.  Football and chili. The house is already smelling delicious.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2022, 04:07:21 PM by MintJulie »

.
          You might not know this, but I have a thing for Tom Brady (and Bill Clinton)
Version 9.15
POY 2016


Offline msslave

  • Co-POY 2019
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 8,826
    • Woos/Boos: +1377/-3
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1505 on: January 01, 2022, 05:18:22 PM
Good to hear Jules. Great way to reconnect after being apart. To say nothing about what a way to bring in the new year.

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline ObiDongKenobi

  • Global Moderator
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 3,185
    • Woos/Boos: +1765/-3
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1506 on: January 01, 2022, 06:44:35 PM

Great news MJ, really made my day.

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about


Offline Clitical Thinking

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 2,141
    • Woos/Boos: +432/-17
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1507 on: January 01, 2022, 07:10:32 PM
He pulled out of me and went down on me orally. He not ejaculating in the last month left a large deposit and he cleaned me up quite well I must say.

What a good boy  ;D

Also, Woo for sharing  :emot_kiss:



Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,160
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-1166
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1508 on: January 03, 2022, 04:26:14 PM
I think I technically did,
As penetration and insertion of liquid did happen.
It happened a few hours back.

I was nervous,
Very much,
Worried about the pain you see.
But after a lot of waiting,
My turn had finally come.
I went inside.
I was very tense.
I sat down.
Uncovered the spot.
She told me to just relax and let it go smoothly…
I was clenching both my hand and my teeth,
Howsoever,
When it happened….
It wasn’t painful at all…
Okay,
It was painful,
But like 1/16 of a mosquito bite, so
Like none,
Afterwards, she gave me a cotton ball for the blood.
And I headed out.

I had finally got first dose of the COVID vaccine lol.
What did you, the reader, think happened ?
« Last Edit: January 04, 2022, 07:33:34 AM by Asmodel »



Offline Pornhubby

  • POY 2013
  • Super Freak
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 7,509
    • Woos/Boos: +1611/-24
  • Ph.D in Perversity a/k/a_ToeinH2O
Reply #1509 on: January 04, 2022, 05:08:40 AM
I had finally got first dose of the COVID vaccine lol.
What did you, the reader, think happened?!?!?! 😈😈😈😈

I think this is why you keep getting downvoted. Note, I did not downvote you. Show some maturity, stay on topic, and stop spamming.

”You can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went.  You can swear and curse the fates.  But when it comes to the end, you have to let go.” — The Curious Case of Benjamin Button


Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,160
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-1166
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1510 on: January 04, 2022, 07:44:49 AM
I had finally got first dose of the COVID vaccine lol.
What did you, the reader, think happened ?

I think this is why you keep getting downvoted. Note, I did not downvote you. Show some maturity, stay on topic, and stop spamming.
If people don't like my posts, they down-vote me, the end.
Afterall, it's their choice to do so, and they're free to do it.
I don't care for Boos,
Wait, I do.
As getting Boos is definitely easier, I'd rather get 100 Boos than 100 Woos,
Aiming for a thousand boos this year.

Although, I mean I understand your point, will try to go easy on the emojis from now on.
As for being on topic, I always try to go for out-of-the-box but nonetheless relevant stuff to post.
As for spamming, If you mean copy-pasting stuff, then I never do that, and even if I do, I later rectify it.



Offline Shiela_M

  • POY 2020, 2021, & 2022
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 6,165
    • Woos/Boos: +3300/-6
    • Gender: Female
  • I said it's weird, not that I wouldn't do it.
Reply #1511 on: January 05, 2022, 06:53:09 PM
I'm feeling much better so is sent Al a text to see if he'd like a Booty call tonight. Hed have to come to me, I'm not driving in this crappy weather. No response as of yet, but I have a feeling im getting the D tonight :emot_kiss:



Offline Clitical Thinking

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 2,141
    • Woos/Boos: +432/-17
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1512 on: January 05, 2022, 07:09:51 PM
im getting the D tonight

'Vitamin D' for the ol immune system. Hopefully Allan can give you more than just a spoonful  :emot_laughing:



Offline Asmodel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,160
    • Woos/Boos: +0/-1166
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1513 on: January 05, 2022, 07:17:02 PM



Offline msslave

  • Co-POY 2019
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 8,826
    • Woos/Boos: +1377/-3
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1514 on: January 05, 2022, 08:08:06 PM
Maybe we should be considering the health benefits of an injection of protein.

I got my regular shot yesterday, so guess I'm in the right thread. And yes, it was great! ;D

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Sweetums

  • Total freak
  • *****
    • Posts: 762
    • Woos/Boos: +97/-1
    • Gender: Male
  • Disclaimer: I am an idiot. Don't listen to me.
Reply #1515 on: January 05, 2022, 08:47:16 PM
So, I got divorced over the holidays. Yep, wife #3, who has been a companion but not a wife since May 2018, who succumbed to Q-Anon conspiracy theories last year, and who would not attend marriage counseling, has finally been jettisoned, along with half my retirement savings and a limited amount of alimony, oh, and 50,000 shares in my startup just for grins. She likes a good deal more than anything. Anyway, I still wish her well. I suppose that indicates right there what a messed up individual I am.

Anyway, to the getting laid.

A few nights into life in my extremely modest apartment, I went online and started chatting with women.

On evening two, I met a very nice woman, and we hit it off. She was named after a kind of fruit, but this is Florida, and she shouldn't be held liable for her mom and dad's misdeeds at any rate, so fruit it is. We made a coffee date. First coffee date of the new dating cycle! I was excited to be starting off with a bang, but fully aware I would probably have to kiss some frogs before finding a princess.

She lives in rural Florida north of Tampa. There are no coffee shops in her vicinity, so we met at a Dunkin' Donuts, I kid you not. Her little town must be the most non-hipster place in the universe. Regardless, we had a very nice (and way too sweet) coffee together where we hit it off more. I learned more of her back story. She's a nurse and a widow. Her husband was gravely ill for years and must have recently passed away. I didn't ask how recently. She asked me whether I would like a tour of the environs. I said yes.

I drove her around in my Prius Prime and she navigated. I saw more churches, convents, and monasteries than God. Mostly Catholic, but many protestant as well. The territory reminded me of Central California, but with churches and without the mountains. About halfway through, I really wanted to put my hand on her thigh, so I asked her whether I could put my hand on her thigh, and she said yes. That thigh proceeded to get a thorough kneading due to my nervous energy, which she didn't seem to mind. She started kneading my thigh in return.

Upon returning to the Dunkin' Donuts, it was obvious that neither one of us wanted the date to end. She asked me whether I wanted to see her house, and I said yes. So we drove to her house.

We got to her house, where I met her two little yappy dogs. They instantly stopped yapping and fell in love with me, because I am indisputably the big dog. We sat at her dining table and talked and talked into the evening. It was as if neither of us had a real conversation for years. One bedroom was filled with the medical equipment her late husband had needed.

Everything was clicking. I was thinking, should I just kiss her? It seemed stupid to ask her. But I asked her anyway, because we'd just met, I am huge and therefore can be scary, and I'd like to think something is changing between men and women, even in my generation, where there's no such thing as too much communication or consent.

She said yes, and we started kissing deeply and wetly. I grabbed her up from her chair and stood her in front of me. She is about 5'1", so she was a little bit taller than me sitting down. As we continued to kiss, I stroked her body.

Matters quickly escalated to my hand down her pants, stroking her clit. She was sopping wet. I like all shapes of women, and Ms. Fruit is extremely shapely, with enormous tits (I think she said K) and an ass to match. Soon she started orgasming, and her knees buckled. I held her up and against me as I continued to kiss her and finger her to more orgasms.

We came up for air and it was getting dark. Her husband had been too sick for a few years to do anything but get a blowjob from her about once a month. She hadn't had sex in a long time, so it was quickly agreed we would go to her bed. I made arrangements to spend the night just in case, and so it quickly turned into spending the night.

We got her all unwrapped on her bed. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Ms. Fruit tasted like fruit, mangoes perhaps. I snacked on her cute, extremely wet, extremely little pussy for, it turned out to be, an hour. She orgasmed often. She seemed to have no limit where she got overstimulated. She just kept taking it, and we were both in heaven. Putting a finger into her to tickle her g spot, my index finger was snug in her pussy. I have a fairly large index finger, but nowhere near the thickness of my penis. I began to worry whether I would be able to get into her. She'd had three sons, but all by cesarean.

I needed to get really, really, really hard. Not a problem, since she gives incredible blowjobs. We were in no hurry. We were at it all night, talking and making love. Eventually, with the help of some lube, I was able to open up and get into her tiny pussy. Luckily, she is very limber. With her feet over her head, I was able to plunge directly down into her with all my weight and squish! Once I got past her first three inches, I just had to remember not to come back out too far.

She loved the process and orgasmed often, yet was very circumspect about it during. It was hard for me to tell, but she clued me in afterwards. She had been very quiet during foreplay, too, but many women are. She said her husbands never wanted her to make noise. She pointed out her orgasms to me. She discreetly cried out "huh!" more and more emphatically as she came. I thought it was very cute, once I realized what it was. In contrast, when I finally came in her, I let out this huge roar that probably woke half her neighborhood.

We talked for a long time, until it was dawn. She had to go to work, and I needed to get back to Sarasota to go to work at noon, so we parted ways with serious plans to see each other more.


Offline msslave

  • Co-POY 2019
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 8,826
    • Woos/Boos: +1377/-3
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1516 on: January 05, 2022, 09:28:47 PM
Wow! Way to go Sweetens. Thanks for the details. You could become the male Shiela... and I mean that in a good way.

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Wildcat666

  • Degenerate
  • ***
    • Posts: 234
    • Woos/Boos: +134/-2
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1517 on: January 05, 2022, 09:58:45 PM
A Wow from me to, and a Woo as well Sweetums:  :sign_lookinggood:

You are a lucky man and right now, I can think of nothing better than going to Florida and pick some fruit.


And to msslave.  :emot_bottomspank:

Regarding your resent  post about protein: UP YOURS! - and I mean that in the best  way........Caveman .....Sorry if I'm pushing it here.



Offline msslave

  • Co-POY 2019
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 8,826
    • Woos/Boos: +1377/-3
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1518 on: January 05, 2022, 10:33:37 PM



And to msslave.  :emot_bottomspank:

Regarding your resent  post about protein: UP YOURS! - and I mean that in the best  way........Caveman .....Sorry if I'm pushing it here.
[/quote]
I've always been open about being bi. Sorry if you were surprised.   :emot_laughing:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Wildcat666

  • Degenerate
  • ***
    • Posts: 234
    • Woos/Boos: +134/-2
    • Gender: Male
Reply #1519 on: January 05, 2022, 10:55:55 PM



And to msslave.  :emot_bottomspank:

Regarding your resent  post about protein: UP YOURS! - and I mean that in the best  way........Caveman .....Sorry if I'm pushing it here.
I've always been open about being bi. Sorry if you were surprised.   :emot_laughing:
[/quote]


What makes you think I am surprisede.............. I mean "Up yours" - "in the best way" - "pushing it"

 I'm bi bi myself and if you are bi, so bi it.

And bees have twise the fun.  :emot_updwn:
« Last Edit: January 05, 2022, 11:01:03 PM by Wildcat666 »