KRISTEN'S BOARD
KB - a better class of pervert

News:

What I looked at the last time I masturbated.

Prometheus · 377592

« previous next »
Pages: 1 ... 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 ... 111   Go Down

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline spankerofass

  • Deviant
  • ****
    • Posts: 314
    • Woos/Boos: +25/-0
    • Gender: Male
Reply #540 on: February 12, 2013, 01:10:18 PM
Thru a bedroom window!!

You gotta get up pretty early to catch me looking thru your window!


EroticVixen69

  • Guest
Reply #541 on: February 13, 2013, 08:04:12 AM
Quote from: toeinh20 on March 26, 2012, 08:30:42 PM


http://xhamster.com/movies/1095445/cute_young_girl_with_old_man.html

God damn, that was hot. Just wish he had finished her porperly. I've just got this thing about intense fucking being finished with a BJ. Not my favorite, but this was great...I guess this is the thing I looked at...gotta go..lol!


Offline spankerofass

  • Deviant
  • ****
    • Posts: 314
    • Woos/Boos: +25/-0
    • Gender: Male
Reply #542 on: February 14, 2013, 01:40:17 PM
Quote from: EroticVixen69 on February 13, 2013, 08:04:12 AM
Quote from: toeinh20 on March 26, 2012, 08:30:42 PM


http://xhamster.com/movies/1095445/cute_young_girl_with_old_man.html

God damn, that was hot. Just wish he had finished her porperly. I've just got this thing about intense fucking being finished with a BJ. Not my favorite, but this was great...I guess this is the thing I looked at...gotta go..lol!

I watched this one, hot girl!! And I am as old as that guy, but I am NOT an old man!! Damn labels.......


coacheric

  • Guest
Reply #543 on: February 16, 2013, 05:17:33 PM


Offline Amigo De V

  • Pervert
  • **
    • Posts: 59
    • Woos/Boos: +9/-1
    • Gender: Male
Reply #544 on: February 21, 2013, 01:08:06 PM


Doesn't she even blush?

"The life of all beings, without exception, is ruled by a primordial Force deep inside them. The nature of this force is craving: an appetite that is never satisfied, an endless restlessness, an irresitible need, and a blind wild yearning." (Abraxas)

Offline RopeFiend

  • The Cleaner
  • Super Freak
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 5,395
    • Woos/Boos: +672/-30
    • Gender: Male
Reply #545 on: March 10, 2013, 12:55:10 AM

One of the young women I work with sent this to my phone after work last night:


I'm her direct superior, so I'm not even allowed to consider it.  Even so, fappin' happy!  I've only ever seen her in pants (usually jeans) and a blouse.  She's smokin' in a party dress!  <wiping the drool off of my chin>

Remember the Golden Rule: you do me, and I\'ll do you (paraphrased)

Offline MissBarbara

  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,155
    • Woos/Boos: +3181/-41
    • Gender: Female
Reply #546 on: March 21, 2013, 07:17:57 PM
Quote from: toeinh20 on March 21, 2013, 02:08:04 AM



Dani Thorne.  Imagine if she and Gene Simmons had a kid!




Dear Mr. Toe N. H2O,

As Chief Counsel for the Real Men of American Association (RMAA), I regret to inform you that your RMAA membership has been suspended until further notice.

Mr. H2O, what you wrote to accompany that photograph of Dani Thorne is in specific violation of the rules of our organization, which you clearly agree to abide by when you joined our organization.

You looked at that picture of Dani Thorne and her amazing tongue, and rather than imagining the many wonderful and orgasmic things she might be able to do with it, you thought of...Gene Simmons. That is a violation of Rule 6, Section 12, Paragraph B.

According to our by-laws, which you, Mr. H2O explicitly agreed to uphold, you are hereby ordered to refrain from any activity not clearly and explicitly heterosexual, until further notice.

Respectfully,

Weiner, Cox & Dix
Council for The Real Men of American Association, LLC







"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."


coacheric

  • Guest
Reply #547 on: March 21, 2013, 07:28:13 PM
Toe, deep down, really wants to play with Gene's family jewels



Offline MissBarbara

  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,155
    • Woos/Boos: +3181/-41
    • Gender: Female
Reply #548 on: March 21, 2013, 07:55:09 PM
Quote from: toeinh20 on March 21, 2013, 07:32:24 PM
Dear Weiner Cox & Dicks,

This will acknowledge receipt of your recent correspondence dated March 21, 2013, concerning Dani Thorne's tongue, and a sidebar comment about Gene Simmons.

In the words of my late partners, Dewey, Cheatum & Howe:  Go fuck yourselves.

One of the burdens of being prescient, and the master of time space and dimensions, is that I often live in alternate realities and time zones, simultaneously.

Dani and Mr. Simmons will have a child in 2016, to be featured on the cover of People Magazine.  The happy couple will name their daughter Bella Thorne Simmons, in honor of her aunt.  The comely young lass will, in fact, resemble her aunt in every way but one.  Her tongue will be 16 inches long, muscular, and capable of sucking the chrome off a trailer hitch in the parking lot of a ZZ Top reunion tour.

In fact, Mr. Bella Thorne Simmons will pleasure the undersigned with said tongue for several hours during a taping break for Dancing With the Stars Season 37 on July 16, 2044.  The most memorable moment of the experience will be when she wraps that lollipop licker around my shaft three times, and jacks me off with it like a lubeless fist fuck.  She's honestly the only women I've experienced, in any dimension, who can tongue fuck herself to orgasm.  Repeatedly.  Really.

In proof of my claims, please buy Girls Gone Wild #1385, available in a format not yet invented, in the summer of 2045.

If you have any questions concerning the foregoing, please feel free to go fuck yourselves.

Very truly yours,

Mr. Toe, Esq.


Dear Mr. Toe N. H20,

We, the undersigned, are in recepit of yours of March 21, 2013.

You wild fantasies notwithstanding, as prima facie evidence of your violation we submit that you could have chosen this:





In lieu of which you chose this:





We rest our case.

Sincerely,

Harry P. Ness
On behalf of Weiner, Cox & Dix
Counsel for The Real Men of American Association, LLC





"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."


Offline MissBarbara

  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,155
    • Woos/Boos: +3181/-41
    • Gender: Female
Reply #549 on: March 21, 2013, 08:26:58 PM









"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."


Offline Katiebee

  • Shield Maiden POY 2018
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 12,197
    • Woos/Boos: +946/-14
    • Gender: Female
  • Achieving world domination, one body at a time.
Reply #550 on: March 22, 2013, 01:04:43 AM
Time to get out the scissors and snip poor Toe before he crosses the time barriers and goes crazy with lust.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

Offline MissBarbara

  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,155
    • Woos/Boos: +3181/-41
    • Gender: Female
Reply #551 on: March 22, 2013, 07:12:56 PM
Quote from: toeinh20 on March 22, 2013, 07:59:12 AM
Please explain to me how...

Dani Thorne.  Imagine if she and Gene Simmons had a kid!

Is interpreted as...

I would rather have sex with Gene Simmons than Dani Thorne.

My comment was merely observing that I could not imagine a longer more luscious tongue, unless Dani was your mother and Gene Simmons was the dad.

I really scratch my head on KB at times.  But we've had enough people denounce the board and quit for one day.  ;)



Toe, my responses to your post -- both my initial response and my subsequent responses -- were 100% intended to be humorous. From your first response, I assumed you picked up on that intended humor. I now realize I was mistaken. I offer my sincerest apologies, and I take full responsibility, for not making the fact that it was intended to be humorous clear enough. (Perhaps I should get more in the habit of using those stupid winky things.)

And so, to make it crystal clear, both to you and to anyone else who might have been similarly confused, let me plainly state here:

* I do not believe that your post was by way of saying that you "would rather have sex with Gene Simmons than Dani Thorne." Nor do I believe you would, in fact, "rather have sex with Gene Simmons than Dani Thorne."

* I believe that you would prefer to have sex with Dani Thorne rather than Gene Simmons.

* I believe it is perfectly legitimate to imagine no one having "a longer more luscious tongue, unless Dani was your mother and Gene Simmons was the dad."

* I believe that, genetically speaking, it is probable that the offspring of Dani Thorne and Gene Simmons, would, in fact, have a long and luscious tongue.

* I believe that someone endowed with that genetically probable tongue would, in fact, be able to provide aggressively satisfying sexual pleasure to the person on whom it is employed.

* I believe that you would strongly prefer that the aforementioned offspring were female.

* I do not believe that you are a homo.


Ok?






"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."


Offline Elizabeth

  • Life Is Short........Play Naked..!!!
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 8,768
    • Woos/Boos: +392/-9
    • Gender: Female
Reply #552 on: March 22, 2013, 08:36:41 PM
WOW....
Giggles...
Talk about having to dissect a thread...
Love,
Liz
 :emot_laughing:


coacheric

  • Guest
Reply #553 on: March 22, 2013, 09:03:27 PM
Quote from: MissBarbara on March 22, 2013, 07:12:56 PM
* I do not believe that you are a homo.

Ok?

[/b]

I DO, should of seen the way he grabbed my ASS last night    :emot_kiss:


you know I love ya bro!


Offline MissBarbara

  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,155
    • Woos/Boos: +3181/-41
    • Gender: Female
Reply #554 on: March 22, 2013, 11:10:15 PM
Quote from: toeinh20 on March 22, 2013, 09:05:48 PM
I hope you realized by my replies that I did take it in good humor.  In fact, my comment about people quitting the board was also a joke, in light of yesterday's events with other members who need not be named again (the former member with no name).

I'm still just perplexed where the "I want to fuck Gene Simmons" stuff came from, or did you just take a leap?  My legal/Virgo brain is working too hard.

And yes Coach, I'll be your bitch.  Just as soon as Gene Simmons is through with me.  ;)




Well, I completely missed all of that. And yes, I now feel like a moron.

I thought you were genuinely perplexed and saddened, perhaps even offended, by what I wrote. And despite the sarcastic nature of my reply, I was upset that what I wrote might have upset you.

As for "where the I want to fuck Gene Simmons stuff came from," it simply struck me as funny. I saw that enticing picture of Dani Thorne and the first thing I saw below it was "Gene Simmons." That juxtaposition struck me as funny. And that's all. I know you're a man who's very comfortable with his not-exactly-straight sexual orientation, and a man who has a sense of humor. I thought, in that light, you would also find it funny.





"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."


Offline licksnkissez

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,703
    • Woos/Boos: +364/-51
Reply #555 on: March 23, 2013, 05:54:20 AM
There is still time to apply for classes for the humor impaired.




Keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

coacheric

  • Guest
Reply #556 on: April 18, 2013, 10:07:37 PM
If I don't get any tonight, it's what I'll be masturbating to



And damn do I want to know what video this is from


Offline Gina Marie

  • So fucking done with it all.
  • Global Moderator
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 9,470
    • Woos/Boos: +1376/-70
    • Gender: Female
  • Rumors Of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Reply #557 on: April 18, 2013, 10:22:07 PM
Not sure of which video that is from...

Have fun E...

http://sashagrey.tumblr.com/


coacheric

  • Guest
Reply #558 on: April 18, 2013, 10:26:35 PM
You rock GIA!!

and I found my new eye roll


Offline Gina Marie

  • So fucking done with it all.
  • Global Moderator
  • Burnt at the stake
  • ******
    • Posts: 9,470
    • Woos/Boos: +1376/-70
    • Gender: Female
  • Rumors Of My Demise Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
Reply #559 on: April 19, 2013, 11:23:39 AM
I always gots yer back, my big bro... here's another jackpot!

torie-rph.tumblr.com/post/43333464017/sasha-grey-gif-hunt
« Last Edit: April 19, 2013, 12:42:35 PM by Gia1978 »


Pages: 1 ... 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 ... 111   Go Up
« previous next »