by Saborla
So there's this new breed of dude out there. They call themselves "nice guys." Their hobbies are bitching about how women fall for bad-boy douchebags and claiming that they'd be SO much better for said women.
And bitter masturbation. Can't forget bitter masturbation. Beating your meat after defeat is so elite. Don't forget to bleat that you're sweet and discreet and such a treat because you're not into deceit and you don't mistreat and even put down the toilet seat.
Apparently, we have a segment of the population that thinks if you treat women as human beings rather than disposable cumdumpsters, women somehow OWE you something.
That is NOT "nice." That's fucking passive-aggressive asshattery.
What do women owe you? Common courtesy, that's about it. Your personality does not mean that an entire class of people owe you SHIT. If someone owes you something, it's part of a personal debt. An entire class of people doesn't owe you anything. Just because MOST of the 1% straight up robbed America, that doesn't mean that Bill Gates and Warren Buffet personally owe us anything (oddly enough, they seem to be the only members of the 1% who see us as human beings, rather than victims). Okay, maybe Gates owes us a little something over Windows ME, but that's a personal debt.
A part of this may be sour grapes. "Oh, he got that hot girl that I never actually made a move on! Well, I bet he's an asshole!" Um, no... he conveyed interest in a manner that was unambiguous. "See, he hit her! He's an abuser!" Without getting into the issue of if she LIKES being smacked around, didn't said "nice guy" come to this conclusion BEFORE evidence was presented? "She should've gone out with ME instead!" Uh... did you give her a reason to? No? STFU.
The passive-aggressive "nice guy" is the other side of the douchenozzle coin. Both types of guys treat women like shit, one side is just deluded into thinking he's being remotely respectful.
As an actual Nice Guy, I am getting fucking SICK of hearing about these idiots.
I'm not nice to everyone, but I try to be somewhat nice until someone gives me an engraved invitation to be Not Nice to them. I don't make it into some sociological agenda, I just naturally gravitate towards being a pleasant person to be around. I tell mean and sarcastic jokes, but I do so to entertain those I'm with. If you put me in your kitchen, I'll give you multiple shuddering mouthgasms because I like sharing good food. But if you don't put me in your kitchen, I'm not gonna become bitter and spiteful about it. Maybe you just wanna eat out, or you have your own recipe to try. The reason for not slapping an apron on me may have nothing to do with me at all.
Getting the metaphor yet, you passive-aggressive pricks? Even if you do get straight-up rejected, it might not be you at all. She might have something else going on.
Or maybe she senses that you bring nothing but bitterness and preconceived notions to the table. After all, you have deemed her worthy of dating you, therefore she should be eternally grateful and show her gratitude every day, right? Wrong.
What the fuck makes YOU so special that you don't have to offer a woman anything in a relationship, yet she is still the one who is the lesser partner?
Wait a fucking minute... the woman being the default lesser partner "just because..." hey, I've seen this movie before!
It's called MISOGYNY! Straight-up sexism! Dafuq is wrong with you? You think you're "nice" when you hold an entire gender in contempt for not automatically blowing you because you're not a 'roided up, over-aggressive Jersey Shore reject? Anyone ever tell you that the extreme opposite of something bad is almost always something equally bad?
The media used to terrify people with somewhat exaggerated mental images of black teenage boys shooting off guns and listening to a new style of music that encouraged being a crappy musician, but let's look at the opposite case: little old white lady, listens to old music and appears to mind her own business... until she gets onto the Homeowners Association and starts measuring everyone's grass with a fucking ruler to make sure it's kept withing regulation height... and gods help you if you want to remodel! And it's guaranteed that she'll vote for the most oppressive candidates out there because her church told her that this invisible sky fairy is deeply concerned about boys kissing each other and girls being punished for the horrible crime of having sex. I'd rather have the teenagers. They're young enough that their ways can be changed. Introduce them to some good music. Apologies to anyone upset over the fact that I used race to describe something. No offense was meant to anyone who wasn't one of this douchebag breed of "nice guys." I was making a point, I normally try to ignore race and I'll be quite happy when this particular divisor goes the fuck away and we're all just humans.
So, yeah. Being the complete polar opposite of something isn't automatically a good thing. Try something more moderate. You can respect women without trying to advertise it as your primary selling point (like the South likes to brag about their hospitality like they invented the concept, yet are no more hospitable than anyone else). If your primary selling point is treating people with common courtesy, then you're not a good person. Your primary selling point is one of your best features. If the best thing you have to offer is "I'm not a douchebag," then you are NOT OFFERING ANYTHING.
At least the asshole with the loud shirt and the orange skin is offering a good time. Buys drinks, buys the occasional meal, shows off a hot bod that many women want to touch (and promises said touching). What are you offering? Nothing? How exciting. Women want to stroke your nothing. They're starved for your nothing. Your nothing gets them SO HAWT that they need to keep a bucket between their legs to keep everyone from slipping on their juices.
What am I offering? The guy writing this? I'm funny and intelligent. I'm a great cook and I will fucking prove this on demand (assuming I like you). I keep up with the news so I have things to talk about. I like to engage in philosophical discussions. I care deeply for my friends, but not above dopeslapping one if he crosses the line. I know my entertainment and am willing to share it.
Which is why I'm not exactly single right now. I have something to offer. I offered it. The offer was accepted. A lover won't just fall into your lap, go out and fucking EARN one.
Learn to tell jokes. Learn to cook (many women of this generation didn't learn to cook due to various reasons, so this can be a major turn-on). Learn to hold a conversation. Be more than "not an asshole." Become yourself, already! Become more than "Bitter Passive-Aggressive Asshole #87249!" All the world's a stage, and you insist on being a two-dimensional bit character? No wonder the heroine wants nothing to do with you!