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Woman harassed over 100 times in NYC.

Athos_131 · 5117

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Offline Athos_131

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on: October 29, 2014, 04:42:17 AM

#BlackLivesMatter
Arrest The Cops Who Killed Breonna Taylor

#BanTheNaziFromKB


Offline phtlc

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Reply #1 on: October 29, 2014, 07:14:45 AM
Seriously some guys, stop being asshelmets.

There, fixed it for you. I realize the conduct in the video was quite aggrivating, but I don't act like that nor does anyone I know. Where was she walking? Was the camera visible? Most of those guys carried themselves like dirtbags anyway, so I wonder how representative that was.



While you're waiting in vain for that apology, why don't you make yourself useful by getting on your knees and opening your mouth


Bexy

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Reply #2 on: October 29, 2014, 07:55:10 AM
"The video is a reminder that men asserting their dominance over women and intimidating them is simply all too common."

Nice generalization and bullshit. In my experience the video is a reminder that you're walking in a city with a lot of badly raised men and douchebags, with a lack of good role models and most likely a lot of poverty and criminality.

When I walk around in my country dressed like that I'm barely going to get harrassed except for in the 'bad zones' of the biggest cities.

Need/want to walk around in a bad neighbourhood as a woman? Ask a good man to accompany and protect you. Over here we call that common sense.

"Hollaback, an organization that wants to stamp out street harassment and intimidation (a.k.a. catcalls),"

Well, good luck with that. Are they so naive they think these guys will change their behaviour because of an awareness campaign?  Or is this just a scam to get easy money via donations?
« Last Edit: October 29, 2014, 10:28:32 AM by Bexy »



Offline Well Behaved Lady

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Reply #3 on: October 29, 2014, 12:23:48 PM
I don't think it's a true reflection myself, yes there are men out there who have no social graces and don't know how to respect a woman due to the way they were brought up or their social circles, but why not walk around for an hour and say she got 'catcalled' 6 or more times if you break it down. Why walk around for 10 hours and edit a video.

I'm definitely not condoning anything that was shown in the video, that I could actually view. If there was the instance of being verbally harassed for five minutes then to me that would call for intervention by an authoritative figure - police. ( I will hopefully get to watch it in full later)

If you can't walk in an area you live in, unaccompanied then it's obviously somewhere you shouldn't be visiting alone in the first place. A man can only protect you thus far.




Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #4 on: October 29, 2014, 04:30:48 PM

"The video is a reminder that men asserting their dominance over women and intimidating them is simply all too common."

Nice generalization and bullshit. In my experience the video is a reminder that you're walking in a city with a lot of badly raised men and douchebags, with a lack of good role models and most likely a lot of poverty and criminality.

When I walk around in my country dressed like that I'm barely going to get harrassed except for in the 'bad zones' of the biggest cities.

Need/want to walk around in a bad neighbourhood as a woman? Ask a good man to accompany and protect you. Over here we call that common sense.

"Hollaback, an organization that wants to stamp out street harassment and intimidation (a.k.a. catcalls),"

Well, good luck with that. Are they so naive they think these guys will change their behaviour because of an awareness campaign?  Or is this just a scam to get easy money via donations?



"God bless, have a good day" is hardly harassment or intimidation.

Yes, some men are poorly-raised douchebags. Some.

I realize I'm skating on very thin ice, but there's a cultural thing at work here. Note how almost every man who commented is either Black or Hispanic (and in the video she seems to spend most of her time walking in Black and Hispanic areas). This isn't a cultural indictment, but Black and Hispanic men clearly tend, for reasons other than pure douchebaggery, to be more open and upfront in making comments like this.

There are many pressing social issues in NYC that need to be addressed. This, to my mind, is not one of them.





"Sometimes the best things in life are a hot girl and a cold beer."



Offline Well Behaved Lady

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Reply #5 on: October 29, 2014, 04:35:53 PM

"The video is a reminder that men asserting their dominance over women and intimidating them is simply all too common."

Nice generalization and bullshit. In my experience the video is a reminder that you're walking in a city with a lot of badly raised men and douchebags, with a lack of good role models and most likely a lot of poverty and criminality.

When I walk around in my country dressed like that I'm barely going to get harrassed except for in the 'bad zones' of the biggest cities.

Need/want to walk around in a bad neighbourhood as a woman? Ask a good man to accompany and protect you. Over here we call that common sense.

"Hollaback, an organization that wants to stamp out street harassment and intimidation (a.k.a. catcalls),"

Well, good luck with that. Are they so naive they think these guys will change their behaviour because of an awareness campaign?  Or is this just a scam to get easy money via donations?



"God bless, have a good day" is hardly harassment or intimidation.

Yes, some men are poorly-raised douchebags. Some.

I realize I'm skating on very thin ice, but there's a cultural thing at work here. Note how almost every man who commented is either Black or Hispanic (and in the video she seems to spend most of her time walking in Black and Hispanic areas). This isn't a cultural indictment, but Black and Hispanic men clearly tend, for reasons other than pure douchebaggery, to be more open and upfront in making comments like this.

There are many pressing social issues in NYC that need to be addressed. This, to my mind, is not one of them.





I couldn't comment as I'm not from NYC so wasn't sure of the areas but I felt exactly the same watching the men who seemed to be doing most of the commenting.

If you fall over on the ice, I have Band Aids ;D




Bexy

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Reply #6 on: October 29, 2014, 09:25:12 PM

"God bless, have a good day" is hardly harassment or intimidation.

Yes, some men are poorly-raised douchebags. Some.

I realize I'm skating on very thin ice, but there's a cultural thing at work here. Note how almost every man who commented is either Black or Hispanic (and in the video she seems to spend most of her time walking in Black and Hispanic areas). This isn't a cultural indictment, but Black and Hispanic men clearly tend, for reasons other than pure douchebaggery, to be more open and upfront in making comments like this.

There are many pressing social issues in NYC that need to be addressed. This, to my mind, is not one of them.





Thank you for explaining, as I don't know the first thing about New York and it's demographical diversity per location. In Spain and Italy the men are also way more forward and the line where something is called harassment is not drawn as fast as in the northern European countries.




Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #7 on: October 29, 2014, 10:49:53 PM
I've never been harassed in NYC.
I've had people ask me about my cowboy boots, but that's about it.
Granted I didn't make any trips to the Bronx either and or Bed-Sty not to mention Hell's Kitchen. But all in all, NYC is a pretty nice place. But like all cities, there are places that you should not be in (unescorted).

Love,
Liz



coacheric

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Reply #8 on: October 29, 2014, 11:06:00 PM
Thanks for the clarification Barb. I saw what you saw but did not know the areas. I do know Detroit and can say that on any given night most any woman dressed nice will get the same replies and yes, most of these will be from black men. The white men tend to just stare and look like asshelmets.



coacheric

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Reply #9 on: October 29, 2014, 11:09:24 PM
I've never been harassed in NYC.
I've had people ask me about my cowboy boots, but that's about it.
Granted I didn't make any trips to the Bronx either and or Bed-Sty not to mention Hell's Kitchen. But all in all, NYC is a pretty nice place. But like all cities, there are places that you should not be in (unescorted).

Love,
Liz


Liz, I would drop the ( ) and leave it at there are places you should not be. There are areas in Detroit that no sane suburbanite should EVER be, day or night. 



Offline jondalart

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Reply #10 on: October 31, 2014, 11:07:17 AM
I find the comments interesting in that some are excusing the behavior for cultural reasons, or she is walking in a bad part of town and should expect this behavior, and must disagree. Should any moderately attractive woman expect this? Also, what if she was born that part of town? What if a woman has to grow up in that part of town and walks to work? What if it is the only apartment she can afford? Most commenting with excuses for these men, where you raised in a part of town like this?

By excusing this, are we accepting that in certain cultural situations, this is expected? What is expected to happen outside the public eye? What is expected in alley way? Or an apartment lobby when no one is looking? Most of the comments are mild, but it is the public eye. They would be worse in private, or when the lights go down.

In the work place, 20-30 years ago, this was common behavior. A supposed gent says "hey baby", or more polite men say "good day" to the attractive woman, and look away from the less attractive woman.
« Last Edit: October 31, 2014, 11:28:02 AM by jondalart »



TinyDancer

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Reply #11 on: October 31, 2014, 12:00:36 PM
This women found what she was looking for.  She purposefully went to areas where this behavior is prevalent.  Is no different then when a group of women go to a male revue...and the women do lots more than just catcall. 



Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #12 on: October 31, 2014, 02:07:58 PM
 :emot_laughing:
TD.!!!!.....OMG!!!!.....Are You A Fan Of "Chippendale's"???
(I think that's how they spell it, but not sure).

 :D
Love,
Liz



Offline Katiebee

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Reply #13 on: October 31, 2014, 03:30:27 PM
oh, let's just cut to the chase. Men are pigs.

Women are angels.   :emot_laughing:


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Offline phtlc

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Reply #14 on: October 31, 2014, 04:33:34 PM
I find the comments interesting in that some are excusing the behavior for cultural reasons



What would you like people to do? Condemn the behaviour they might see prevalent in certain cultural groups? You really want to open that can of worms?



By excusing this, are we accepting that in certain cultural situations, this is expected?



Nobody is excusing it; they are just challenging the insinuation that this is standard male behaviour.

While you're waiting in vain for that apology, why don't you make yourself useful by getting on your knees and opening your mouth


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #15 on: October 31, 2014, 05:44:11 PM
Education of those people is what is needed, so that they understand that it's not acceptable to do that to a stranger, and what the limit is.

Education can take many forms, but usually law enforcement officials take a dim view of shooting one as an example to the others.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline phtlc

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Reply #16 on: October 31, 2014, 06:17:10 PM
Education can take many forms, but usually law enforcement officials take a dim view of shooting one as an example to the others.


We just need to let you walk through that neighborhood armed, and a judges order giving you immunity for a week.......the men who survived and retained the ability to reproduce would become perfect gentlemen.

While you're waiting in vain for that apology, why don't you make yourself useful by getting on your knees and opening your mouth


Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #17 on: October 31, 2014, 06:20:36 PM

I find the comments interesting in that some are excusing the behavior for cultural reasons, or she is walking in a bad part of town and should expect this behavior, and must disagree. Should any moderately attractive woman expect this? Also, what if she was born that part of town? What if a woman has to grow up in that part of town and walks to work? What if it is the only apartment she can afford? Most commenting with excuses for these men, where you raised in a part of town like this?

By excusing this, are we accepting that in certain cultural situations, this is expected? What is expected to happen outside the public eye? What is expected in alley way? Or an apartment lobby when no one is looking? Most of the comments are mild, but it is the public eye. They would be worse in private, or when the lights go down.

In the work place, 20-30 years ago, this was common behavior. A supposed gent says "hey baby", or more polite men say "good day" to the attractive woman, and look away from the less attractive woman.

By excusing this, are we accepting that in certain cultural situations, this is expected? What is expected to happen outside the public eye? What is expected in alley way? Or an apartment lobby when no one is looking? Most of the comments are mild, but it is the public eye. They would be worse in private, or when the lights go down.

In the work place, 20-30 years ago, this was common behavior. A supposed gent says "hey baby", or more polite men say "good day" to the attractive woman, and look away from the less attractive woman.


Neither I nor anyone else who has posted in this thread is excusing their behavior, neither are we validating it. I indicated the cultural aspect solely as an explanation. I deliberately made no moral judgements, neither excusing the behavior nor, for that matter, condemning it.

To answer your question, yes, an attractive woman with a nice figure wearing a tight-fitting jeans and t-shirt walking around in that part of the City should expect this, because that's what happens. As Tiny Dancer points out, these facts invalidate the entire point of the video because, well, she found what she was looking for.

I'm not all that attractive, I don't have a "hot" figure, and I don't wear provocative clothes, but even I, on occasion, have had comments like these addressed to me by Black and Hispanic men. I don't like it, it creeps me out, and it clearly leads to, or is the result of, an objectification of women.

But I would never extend that to a blanket condemnation of Black and Hispanic men, or even men in general, which is the direction you seem to be heading.

And that points to a wonderful irony about this thread. Every woman who has posted here (and yes, Katie's last comment is a joke), are deliberately refraining from blanket condemnations or stereotypes of men, while all of the men interpret it exclusively in that manner.  




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Offline Athos_131

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Reply #18 on: October 31, 2014, 06:24:14 PM
oh, let's just cut to the chase. Men are pigs.

Women are angels.   :emot_laughing:



*shrug*  All men are hounds, it's just a matter of degree.  Some of us are civil enough to know how to act in public.

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Bexy

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Reply #19 on: October 31, 2014, 06:26:30 PM
I find the comments interesting in that some are excusing the behavior for cultural reasons, or she is walking in a bad part of town and should expect this behavior, and must disagree. Should any moderately attractive woman expect this?


Let's hope her parents taught her to stay away from those areas or only go there accompanied!


What if it is the only apartment she can afford? Most commenting with excuses for these men, where you raised in a part of town like this?

No, but as a teen girl I had to go a distance through a similar neighbourhood. You learn how to handle it. It's called life. There are good men and then there are douchebags, just like there are good women and psycho bitches.


By excusing this, are we accepting that in certain cultural situations, this is expected?

Virtually everybody in this thread called it douchbaggery. But yes, a lot of hispanic and black men seemingly tend to be verbally way more forward. Who am I to judge their culture? I've witnessed it in Italy, and boy, do the Italian ladies ever know how to snap back with a cocky reply. It's a different culture. Don't like it, don't go there.

What is expected to happen outside the public eye? What is expected in alley way?
Or an apartment lobby when no one is looking? Most of the comments are mild, but it is the public eye. They would be worse in private, or when the lights go down.

I think most women are taught and quickly learn not to go solo in bad areas. It's called common sense.

In the work place, 20-30 years ago, this was common behavior. A supposed gent says "hey baby", or more polite men say "good day" to the attractive woman, and look away from the less attractive woman.

Sounds like normal human behaviour to me. 'Good day' is not harassment. 'Hey baby' is not respectful outside of an intimate context but it's hardly intimidating. Men are very visual and it's long been scientifically proven that people who are 'beautiful' aka symmetric, fit, who take good care of themselves and answer to certain proportions, will often be more healthy and produce healthier offspring. You can't beat millenia of biology and instinct and 'tell' men to go for the women they don't find attractive.

So, I have to join TD and Miss B. : the woman got what she was looking for.