I grew up in the suburbs. There was just one black person in my High School. I was raised to fear black people. When we had to drive through Oakland we had to lock the car doors and roll up the windows, the same was true of when we drove through East Palo Alto.
My first black friends were in college when I attended San Francisco State. My college roommate, Judy, was black and we lived together for 5 years. We learned a lot together. I still think of her occasionally and I am sorry we lost touch.
We had mutual friends that were both black and white. And we often visited both. I remember a trip to East Palo Alto where two of our friends who were cousins grew up. It was my first visit into the home of a black family. The visit was to Faemi's house. Faemi's mom was a school teacher and she had traveled to Africa and had amazing clothing that had been made there. The home was decorated with African native art and a huge Zebra skin adorned one wall. I loved the place and everyone was friendly. Sure East Pally is primarily black and there is both gang violence and drugs there, but this family was positive and holding it together. All the children had Muslim names because the father had converted before the children were born. They split up later and mom adopted a pagan African religion. One daughter was attending a University in the UK, Faemi was studying psychology, and the son was attending Morehouse.
When we returned home Judy longed to have beautiful African clothing too, so I studied up on the subject and made her a couple of outfits. She got lots of compliments when she wore them and when she told her black friends I made them I'm sure it blew their minds.
The point is that making friends is key.
And because of the nature of this site I will say having sex is a great way to break the ice