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DemonDelight · 103469

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coacheric

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Reply #20 on: January 21, 2013, 01:31:35 PM
Quote from: forgetfulish on January 21, 2013, 02:24:16 AM
Never have I ever found a squirter in real life.

Keep looking, you have no idea what your missing  ;D


TinyDancer

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Reply #21 on: January 21, 2013, 01:32:30 PM
Never have I ever had sex with a dog.  The only panting I wanna hear is me and my "human" partner catching our breaths after we've gone over the edge! 


Offline DemonDelight

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Reply #22 on: January 21, 2013, 04:41:57 PM
Quote from: nyxc on January 21, 2013, 09:54:05 AM
Quote from: forgetfulish on January 21, 2013, 08:02:21 AM
Was nice, don't get me wrong, but they were too young, and I was too high. Should never have done anything with them, but I was being an idiot at that point in my life.

Never have I ever had someone fart while i was going down on them.

there is rarely an opportunity to tell this story (i can't claim it as my own, thank god), so here we go..

my friend L had a thing about her boyfriend going down on her. she was just kind of weird about it. all other sex stuff she was fine with, but i guess she was uncomfortable with head so she rarely let him eat her out. one night, boyfriend is at work and L is at home, halfway through her second bottle of red wine and watching sexy romantic comedies by herself. her boyfriend came home right at that sweet spot of being wine drunk, when you're in a bubbly mood and you just feel great. this is her story...

"J comes in and i'm just feeling, sexy as hell! i think i'm being cute and sexy and spontaneous and he's just trying to go along with it for my sake. i'm throwing myself down on our bed, trying to be seductive when i'm pretty sure i was just flailing around like an idiot, but he loves me so he's going along with my antics, and i decide i want him to give me head. i practically force him to start eating me out, he was being really reluctant about it, i guess because i was acting like a fool, but i begged him in my sexy voice to do it, saying that if he didn't eat me out now i would never let him touch me again, yadda yadda yadda. so J is just getting into it down there when.. well... i fart. and A, it wasn't a short small fart. i farted for like, a full 10 seconds. do you know how long 10 seconds is when you have your face in a fart? god i was so humiliated, but still drunk. J just rolled over, got under the covers and pretended to go to sleep. he hasn't said a single word about it and i don't know if i should bring it up or just pray he will never think about it again."

i laughed hysterically for about 10 minutes after this. anyway, it was like 3 years ago now that it happened and they're engaged, so i guess he got over it.

Omg thank you for sharing that!! That is so funny! I'm pretty sure I would die of embarrassment


joe_and_michelle

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Reply #23 on: January 21, 2013, 04:54:43 PM
Quote from: forgetfulish on January 21, 2013, 02:24:16 AM
Never have I ever found a squirter in real life...
-Forgetfulish

I hadn't either until one day a couple summers ago.   I have given my wife hundreds of O's with my tongue.   Her body usually reacting the same.   Then a couple of summers ago, she's getting close and I back off and tease her for a bit.    Bring her to the brink a few times and back off.   The last time I don't back off and I'm lightly running my tongue all around and SPLASH.   Like getting hit with a water balloon in the face...well, not that bad, but it was in my eyes, face covered.    She was quite embarrassed.    I loved that I could do that to her.

Never have I done anything anal.     Other than...  Slipped my pinky up a GF's ass one time, got slapped pretty hard.   Also, in college, kinky chick wanted to lick my rear-end, I couldn't handle it.   She kept trying buy I kept clenching up and denying access.    In my '4 Nines' story I went there (anal licking), not sure why though. LOL.


TinyDancer

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Reply #24 on: January 21, 2013, 05:07:01 PM
Never have I ever had sex with a woman, but will admit that I always keep Option #21 open.   ;D


Offline Fish

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Reply #25 on: January 21, 2013, 05:21:44 PM
Wow, lucky you with the squirter, Joe. Anal is fun, but only if you really know what you are doing, as otherwise you just hurt them. I would advise against the "Surprise!" anal stuff, as that will almost invariably hurt them.

As for being with another woman, TD, I don't know option 21, but just know that women are soft and they smell nice, and they often know how to get a girl off, because they have likely had a lot more practice than most guys. Don't do it if you are not comfortable with it, though, as that would not be fair to you.

As always, wishing all a squirting good orgasm,
-Forgetfulish

Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff.

Offline DemonDelight

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Reply #26 on: January 21, 2013, 05:30:44 PM
Quote from: joe_and_michelle on January 21, 2013, 04:54:43 PM
Quote from: forgetfulish on January 21, 2013, 02:24:16 AM
Never have I ever found a squirter in real life...
-Forgetfulish

I hadn't either until one day a couple summers ago.   I have given my wife hundreds of O's with my tongue.   Her body usually reacting the same.   Then a couple of summers ago, she's getting close and I back off and tease her for a bit.    Bring her to the brink a few times and back off.   The last time I don't back off and I'm lightly running my tongue all around and SPLASH.   Like getting hit with a water balloon in the face...well, not that bad, but it was in my eyes, face covered.    She was quite embarrassed.    I loved that I could do that to her.

Never have I done anything anal.     Other than...  Slipped my pinky up a GF's ass one time, got slapped pretty hard.   Also, in college, kinky chick wanted to lick my rear-end, I couldn't handle it.   She kept trying buy I kept clenching up and denying access.    In my '4 Nines' story I went there (anal licking), not sure why though. LOL.


Lol "SPLASH" I wish I could have been a fly on the wall with that one!


TinyDancer

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Reply #27 on: January 21, 2013, 05:31:55 PM
Lol, forgetful......Option #21 is, "You can always become a lesbian."  And I know how women feel and smell as I am one, silly.   


Offline DemonDelight

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Reply #28 on: January 21, 2013, 05:33:40 PM
Quote from: TinyDancer on January 21, 2013, 05:07:01 PM
Never have I ever had sex with a woman, but will admit that I always keep Option #21 open.   ;D

If you ever get the chance to experience that, I say go for it. It's quite the thrilling experience


Offline Fish

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Reply #29 on: January 21, 2013, 05:34:54 PM
It's nice to have during sex, that was all I was trying to say.

Never have I ever cheated on anyone (porn doesn't count, jerking off doesn't count).

Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff.

Offline redhatlover

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Reply #30 on: January 21, 2013, 05:49:13 PM
Quote from: DemonDelight on January 21, 2013, 02:54:00 AM
Never have I ever squirted lol

Gia can probably cure that for you!

I am like Charlie the Tuna.  I don't want women with good taste, I want women who taste good.

Offline DemonDelight

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Reply #31 on: January 21, 2013, 05:59:57 PM
Quote from: redhatlover on January 21, 2013, 05:49:13 PM
Quote from: DemonDelight on January 21, 2013, 02:54:00 AM
Never have I ever squirted lol

Gia can probably cure that for you!

Yes, I see she has a doctorate in that area lol


Offline DemonDelight

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Reply #32 on: January 21, 2013, 06:02:57 PM
Quote from: forgetfulish on January 21, 2013, 05:34:54 PM
It's nice to have during sex, that was all I was trying to say.

Never have I ever cheated on anyone (porn doesn't count, jerking off doesn't count).

Wow really? Good for you! I unintentionally cheated on an ex. It was during my wild days in the Navy. We had a bad argument and I thought we broke up. He didn't speak to me for days so I assumed we had and I pursued a crush I had been developing for another guy. I felt really bad when he approached me accusing me of cheating.


Offline Partner

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Reply #33 on: January 22, 2013, 01:09:03 AM
Quote from: TinyDancer on January 21, 2013, 05:31:55 PM
Lol, forgetful......Option #21 is, "You can always become a lesbian."  And I know how women feel and smell as I am one, silly.   

Option #21 never worked for me.  The other lesbians didn't buy it.   ;)


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #34 on: January 22, 2013, 04:37:21 AM
Obviously you weren't hanging around the blind, paralyzed ones.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

Offline Partner

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Reply #35 on: January 22, 2013, 04:45:04 AM
Quote from: Katiebee on January 22, 2013, 04:37:21 AM
Obviously you weren't hanging around the blind, paralyzed ones.

I tried.  No matter how much I waved my arms, I never could get them to acknowledge me!


Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #36 on: January 22, 2013, 04:48:24 AM
I have never slept with nor had sex with a guy.


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #37 on: January 22, 2013, 05:14:01 AM
Quote from: Elizabeth on January 22, 2013, 04:48:24 AM
I have never slept with nor had sex with a guy.
Which means, you really weren't trying.

 ;D :emot_laughing:

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Offline Fish

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Reply #38 on: January 22, 2013, 06:00:27 AM
Never have I ever given a girl an orgasm with my cock unless I had already given her several with oral. I just bat cleanup.

I have tried everything, Viagra, heavy foreplay, candles, massage... I don't really care, I just wonder if it is a common thing. I'm not too large, but not small either (seven).

-Forgetfulish

Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff.

Offline Katiebee

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Reply #39 on: January 22, 2013, 06:06:23 AM
According to statistics you are larger than the median range in the US.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

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