Bi courious

[Karl2]

I want to make this pretty short. I need help but dont know how to get it.

[redhatlover]

You may have been a little too short.  Some specifics may help us in determining what you are concerned about.  We have many members with varied backgrounds, and someone may have been where you are and can give you his/her experiences.

[Gina Marie]

I assume you meant *curious* - and I am wondering what type of help you are asking for.

There are several members of the LGBT community here whom I am sure would be as happy as I am to answer questions. This indeed is the place to ask! There is no judgement regarding sexuality, here AT ALL!

Please let us know what it is you require assistance with.

[majorwood]

I am curious too. I've often heard that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are "molested" at some point as minors. I was molested by a high school age family friend when I was a preteen and I loved every minute of it. Before his seduction of me started, I knew nothing of orgasms, semen, jacking off, sucking cock, etc., so I was fascinated by all of it. I hadn't received the memo yet that "only queers like sucking a dick", so I went into it with a open mind. I knew it was "naughty" and a secret, but that made it even more exciting.
I've always kept it to myself, but have never regretted it. All we ever did was trade oral and that was hot as hell. How would I go about finding a guy to show me everything? No Dom or piss or worse, just some hot sex ...... ideas?

[gomez38555]

I could be wrong, but it always seemed to me that women tended to more often be bi-curious than men.

I assumed that this is due to the diff. in sex itself.  For a female to even have intercorse she must be willing to accept an invasion of herself, and thus, must be more open and accepting.

Just my musing, they tend to be odd.

[MissBarbara]

I could be wrong, but it always seemed to me that women tended to more often be bi-curious than men.

I assumed that this is due to the diff. in sex itself.  For a female to even have intercourse she must be willing to accept an invasion of herself, and thus, must be more open and accepting.

Just my musing, they tend to be odd.

I don't think that's odd at all, and I think you have your finger on something.

Speaking from no authority or experience, do you think the difference might lie in the fact that homosexuality is so culturally proscribed among men -- you know, the whole "gay thing," being a "real man," etc. -- that men might tend much less to express their bi-sexuality to others? In other words, they might feel it, but they'd never dare describe those feelings to other men?

I'll admit I'm on rather shaky ground here, but I think women tend to give more intrinsic meaning to the physical aspects of sex than men do. For example, I read in another thread here a few minutes ago someone describing how they masturbated to completion seven times in the space of a few hours. I can't even begin to fathom that. I don't condemn it, I just don't understand it.

[kurious]

Personally, I think everyone is curious. The only difference is to what length they are willing to explore their curiosity. For myself, I am frustratingly curious, but not in a position to do any more than self-exploration. Currently, I am a married (15 years) father of three. It doesn't open too many possibilities for exploration. Frankly, the cost of getting caught is just too high. If this were a perfect world, nobody would judge me for wanting to try exciting new things with exciting new people of both sexes.

[coacheric]

For example, I read in another thread here a few minutes ago someone describing how they masturbated to completion seven times in the space of a few hours. I can't even begin to fathom that. I don't condemn it, I just don't understand it.

Mom's basement + internet phone = 7 times in a few hours

[coacheric]

Personally, I think everyone is curious. The only difference is to what length they are willing to explore their curiosity. For myself, I am frustratingly curious, but not in a position to do any more than self-exploration. Currently, I am a married (15 years) father of three. It doesn't open too many possibilities for exploration. Frankly, the cost of getting caught is just too high. If this were a perfect world, nobody would judge me for wanting to try exciting new things with exciting new people of both sexes.

Ever play out a fantasy play with your wife about watching her getting fucked by another man while you watch and play with her? Never know, you might find the idea gets her going also and you could discuss a threesome at sometime down the line? I know that my wife and I have these type of RP nites and it drives her crazy. Would she or I ever go thru with it....I don't know but I sure know that it's been fun  playing.

Just a thought as to at least getting towards an end.

[MissBarbara]

For example, I read in another thread here a few minutes ago someone describing how they masturbated to completion seven times in the space of a few hours. I can't even begin to fathom that. I don't condemn it, I just don't understand it.

Mom's basement + internet phone = 7 times in a few hours

Okay, NOW I understand it.

P.S.  Ewwwwwwwwwwwww....

[snowm]

I could be wrong, but it always seemed to me that women tended to more often be bi-curious than men.

I assumed that this is due to the diff. in sex itself.  For a female to even have intercourse she must be willing to accept an invasion of herself, and thus, must be more open and accepting.

Just my musing, they tend to be odd.

I don't think that's odd at all, and I think you have your finger on something.

Speaking from no authority or experience, do you think the difference might lie in the fact that homosexuality is so culturally proscribed among men -- you know, the whole "gay thing," being a "real man," etc. -- that men might tend much less to express their bi-sexuality to others? In other words, they might feel it, but they'd never dare describe those feelings to other men?

I'll admit I'm on rather shaky ground here, but I think women tend to give more intrinsic meaning to the physical aspects of sex than men do. For example, I read in another thread here a few minutes ago someone describing how they masturbated to completion seven times in the space of a few hours. I can't even begin to fathom that. I don't condemn it, I just don't understand it.

finger? I'd guess his whole hand...

but you're right. I think females have to have a bit more emotional connection then men do with each other or members of the same gender. Additionally guys, especially depending on where you were raised are given that stigma of having to be the big manly man.

From personal experience, I will say I had the opportunity to experiment extensively throughout high school and college with the same guy. Almost moved in with him. Strangely enough I do not know if there was ever a deep emotional relationship between us. We were just friends with extensive benefits. He is now gay and I am happily married and, I guess non practicing bi.

[gomez38555]

well I can only say for myself, but I've never had any desire to try another guy.  Wouldn't be able to get it up if I did.
As to the emotional end, there is something to that.  Males (at least in the US) are taught from birth to control their emotions, not to let them show.  In reality this is a good thing, becouse as a species, men are pretty violent without that self control.  On the down side, it makes us less able to communicate our feelings.

Kind of a trade off.

And once again ....I could be wrong.

[Katiebee]

awww, don't worry, a good woman will let you know what your real thoughts are.

[Partner]

This thread got very interesting.

I'm much like Gomez, and for me it's because I connect differently with women than with men.  That connection makes *all* the difference for me.

But as far as emotions, I think he's on to something for sure.  I'm not sure that it's that men are not brought up to let their emotions out so much as they're only taught to allow a specific subset of emotions through.  But either way, you do see a lot of men that inhibit their emotions, and I think society as a whole is the worse for it.

[kurious]

Ever play out a fantasy play with your wife about watching her getting fucked by another man while you watch and play with her? Never know, you might find the idea gets her going also and you could discuss a threesome at sometime down the line?

The thought has crossed my mind, but she doesn't have the same free spirit as I do. Just something she is not interested in because it goes against what she believes the institution of marriage to be. Herein lies the problem. I LOVE my wife! I wish she was up to a bit more adventure tho. I have curiosities that I have quelled for years out of love for her, but I don't know how much longer. Maybe it's just a midlife crisis??

[coacheric]

I can understand that. My wife has issues with being open with me. I have tried to get her to talk during sex and tho she will a little bit, for the most part she will just ask me to talk instead. We have a large selection of different size and color toys that I use on her sometimes with a bunch of dirty talk to go with it. Seems to never fail that she is squirting before I set the toys to the side 

Just something to think about. Toys can be a lot of fun if introduced correctly

[kurious]

Just something to think about. Toys can be a lot of fun if introduced correctly

That's what I'm talking about... Well, sort of. I have been using toys for approximately 5yrs. without anybody's knowledge. I'm tired of being a toy recluse. With her personality, I don't know how to breach the subject. Any thoughts?

[Janus]

Just something to think about. Toys can be a lot of fun if introduced correctly

That's what I'm talking about... Well, sort of. I have been using toys for approximately 5yrs. without anybody's knowledge. I'm tired of being a toy recluse. With her personality, I don't know how to breach the subject. Any thoughts?

I kept my toy play a secret for my entire 17 yr marriage. There were a cpl of times when she used a toy on me...Followed up immediately with, "Are you gay?"

So I just never asked her to use a toy on me again until we were swingers. When I eventually told her about my Bisexuality, it went over like a ton of bricks......Sorry, wish I could tell you that she was excited for me to have come out...She wasn't and it led to some very rough times in the marriage and we are now officially divorced. There were many other things that led to the separation but my coming out did not make matters any better for our relationship.

Over all I think it is better that I am now single.......Oddly enough, the frequency of my toy play has actually gone down.....Maybe now that the naughty element has gone, some of the excitement has gone also.

I am anxiously awaiting cucumber season. The ones that are available now are to small....When the big boys go back on the shelves, I'm going to shop my ass off for the perfect one and get a clone a willy so I don't have to go next winter without the size that I desire.

[kurious]

Well, that's not exactly encouraging. I wish there were a way to explain my desires without risk. This isn't the whole of who I am. All in all, it's actually a very small portion of my overall personality. Why does it seem (to me anyhow) to be such a huge obstacle?

What scares me the most is the part where you said... 'Are you gay?' I have tried hinting at the subject that I enjoy anal play and that is almost verbatim the response I heard from her.

[Partner]

Just some thoughts; take or leave as you please.

Part of the reason it may seem like a big deal *may* be a difference in the way the act is viewed.  If she is very relational about sex (i.e. where sex is a reinforcement of the relationship between you two, perhaps even more so than a physical venture), then toy/anal play may feel to her like a departure from that.  That *may* also help explain the 'are you gay' questions: since anal play is something associated with gay relationships, she may be making that connection.

If that's at all in the ballpark, maybe reinforce that you love having *her* do that?  That it's a marriage of two aspects of sex: the positive sensations from anal play (hello prostrate!) and the intimacy between you two.