Confessions

[psiberzerker]

We can't always control things that happen to us, all we can control is how we respond.

Not necessarily.  Something that happened, like 1 incident is one thing.  How we are raised, especially at a young age of development to a large degree determines who we are, what personality we develop.  We can't always control that, or every aspect of that.  Rationally, one might think that, "Have you tried, not being paranoid?"  It's not always a rational response.  We can't always control it.

[ChirpingGirl]

I think a lot of people, but particularly the victims of physical and emotional abuse while young, develop a “need to please” and compulsively seek the approval of others.  It’s almost as if we do not believe we are worthy being loved on our own, so we have to “buy” the affection of others, whether it is with gifts, or sex, or just doing what they want, even if it is not what we want. 

As one that was emotionally abused, I'll agree with that.
As far back as I can remember my mother never said anything positive to me.  It was all negative.  Yet there I was trying to please her and make her love me.  Until I hit my late teens and started fighting back, at which time I turned to others and tried earning their affection.  Even though in most cases I already had it.   But my mothers treatment had programmed me in a way.   I just wanted accepted.  I still do get that feeling at times.  I think a therapist might have been good for me.

I still to this day feel compelled to please my father. Yeah, I mean "please". Because that's what I was trained for. He would also reward me by for doing things, so there was a prize for doing things like... Swallowing. 

$20, $30, $50. Sometimes a lot more depending on what he'd do, and if I'd "behave" myself.

And still, horribly, I wonder if he loves me. I know he doesn't, he's told me I was never good for anything to him other than being his favorite play thing. But I still want him to. And I hate thinking it.

[psiberzerker]

IDK your father, but the bad things he did don't eliminate the possibility that he loved you.  It's possible, and you would know him better than it.

[ChirpingGirl]

The only thing he loved about me was "where it could fit" 

I don't think he ever loved anyone. He's just a sexual predator. My mom was in no position to consent to anything when I was made. And he's always thought it was hysterical about "knocking up a super hot gay chick." Fucking bastard. My little brothers mom was also not in the best of ways when he was made.  He implied many times he targeted my mom and waited for the right time to get her. For that alone he deserves to die. Then when I showed up he made legal threats. Threats my moms were in no position to challenge at the time, so if you're wondering how he got to do what he did, that's how. When I got a little older he would always tell me how I'd never see my mom again if I ever said anything.  Then my moms got successful and his threats were meaningless, but I didn't understand that at the time so he kept getting what he wanted.

So, no, love is not a word he understand the meaning of. He loves what he can do to people and get away with. He loved causing pain and suffering to little CJ.

CJ loves her children more than anything and would die for any one of them. He wouldn't die for anyone, least of all me.

[psiberzerker]

I confess that I feel a little better about my passive aggressive malignant narcissist dad, and his covert incest.

[MintJulie]

on a dare.... the time a friend and I touched the tips of our breasts together.  I was like, "Oh wow."  We were just friends and no big intent of anything more.  But doing it was just so electrifying at the moment we touched.  Maybe because we were doing it in front of a group of our friends.

I wish Paul Harvey was still alive, because I would love to hear the rest of the story.

I had actually told part of the story about 3 years ago.

Early 20's with friends back home there were 3 guys, 3 girls in the hottub.   None of us had bathing suits so we all agreed to go in just our underwear.   The guys tried talking us out of our bras.   I said I'd take off my bra if all the boys took off their underwear.    OMG, they stripped so fast.   I took my bra off and got in.   All three of them had erections growing before our eyes.  They couldn't keep their eyes off me.   I liked the effect I was having on them.  

(The continuation of that incident listed above).....

One of my friends was jealous that I was getting all of the attention with the guys, so she took off her bra.
And shortly after that, the guys tried talking us out of our underwear.  With no luck there, they talked us into playing truth or dare.  We girls agreed on the condition that there would be no more nudity from the girls and no physical touching of bodies with the opposite sex being allowed.  One of the dares from the guys was for my friend and I to touch our breasts together and kiss each other passionately.  She stood up and all eyes turned to me.   I wouldn't have had an issue with the touching of our breasts, but the kissing was another matter.   My friend, always one craving attention from the guys, reached out her hands to me.   She helped pulled me up from my seat.   We lined up our nipples to each other and pressed our breasts together.   The boys all acted like they just won the lottery.  Then we kissed.  The kiss lasting all of about 3 seconds.  It felt very strange and awkward and I broke it off.
When I dared one of the guys to fondle a friend, they quickly ended the game.  Which I knew they would, and the reason I suggested it because I was afraid of things getting out of hand.   We just hung out for the next hour or so.
One of the guys was one of my closest guy friends (strictly a friend) of 5 years.   After everyone else got out, we ended up kissing in the hottub.  There was a lot of intimate touching between each other.  We both felt very awkward in the days that followed.  Neither of us had a interest in dating the other.  Our friendship survived that and we still see each other a couple of times a year.

[e_monster]

I lay in bed this morning, next to my sleeping wife, and took a dick pic for somebody else to see...

One of my wife’s friends occasionally sends me boob pix. The pix are obviously of her, not someone else. The first arrived unbidden several years ago and her secret habit has continued off and on ever since.

Nothing more has ever come of it but I do enjoy the pix and helping her indulge her secret exhibitionist trait.

[_priapism]

I lay in bed this morning, next to my sleeping wife, and took a dick pic for somebody else to see...

One of my wife’s friends occasionally sends me boob pix. The pix are obviously of her, not someone else. The first arrived unbidden several years ago and her secret habit has continued off and on ever since.

Nothing more has ever come of it but I do enjoy the pix and helping her indulge her secret exhibitionist trait.

My wife’s best friend.  She gets drunk and horny on occasions, and encourages me to do the same.  She usually succeeds.

[e_monster]

Sweet.

It’s entrancing being treated to secret views like that.

...enough to keep a guy awake at night.

[_priapism]

Я возбуждена.

[ChirpingGirl]

Я возбуждена.

Конечно.

[_priapism]

Она сводит меня с ума медленно.  Мой бедный член сильно страдает, а мои яйца вывернуты наизнанку.

She sent this a few minutes ago...

[Remington555]

Черт, я бы хотел научиться говорить по-немецки. 

Remmy

[IdleBoast]

An informal weekend camping with a 51 year old bladder found me heading to the site toilets at a bright-moonlit 2am

Even when camping, I sleep in the nude, so I threw on a pair of denim shorts and a zip-up fleece to make the trip. The site is an odd L-shape, so I took a short-cut, across a grassy field. The night was warm, still and silent. Not a hint of movement from the site proper, so I succumbed to my urges, dropped the shorts, slipped off the fleece and my shoes and made the rest of the journey naked, night air on my skin, short-grazed grass between my toes...

So sensuous!

[Jed_]

Not my confession:

At the beach Saturday, my Peruvian wore the lime green bikini I bought her.  She looked hot, and I loved how her dark nipples showed through.  I was very pleased, because she had been saying she would wear the boring one-piece.

Except she kept refusing to take off her shorts so I could see her in the bikini bottom.  She began pulling on my arm hair and sheepishly explained; it seems she forgot to do some grooming down there.

[psiberzerker]

I love womanscaping.  I guess it's a confession, but I don't have any ladybits, and Jed reminded me of this.  It's not really a Fetish per-se, but I love pubic hair, and I consider it an honor whenever I get a chance to help a woman who's "Overgrown" because of the winter.  Not too much off the top, but just enough to get the curls out of the way.  Mostly around the sides, where they might curl out around the crotch of a bikini, or pair of lace underpants...

Those can be hard to get, with your eyes on the other end of the torso, and only 2 hands to hold the folds out of the way, the mirror, and the scissors, or the trimmer.  She could always use a hand with that, or just appreciate sitting back, and letting someone else do it for her.  I'm sure.

[ChirpingGirl]

I confess I almost got laid last night when we had visitors for dinner and a movie. But I didn't. I fought the urge. I really, really... really REALLY wanted to. But she understood why I told her no. 

But I really wanted to. 

[psiberzerker]

I fought the urge.

Good for you!  Admitting you have a problem is the first step, but it's not the hardest.  Every opportunity to trip, and fall back down is the hardest, because they can happen every day.

You can say "No."  You found that strength, and now you know that you can.  Hold onto that.

[Jed_]

I love womanscaping.

I didn’t really consider it before, but now I’m curious.  Tonight I’m going to ask what she would have done grooming-wise.  Then I’m going to ask if I can watch or better yet do it for her.

[MintJulie]

I love womanscaping.

I didn’t really consider it before, but now I’m curious.  Tonight I’m going to ask what she would have done grooming-wise.  Then I’m going to ask if I can watch or better yet do it for her.

You can ask to watch.  I'm willing to bet the answer is no.   Do NOT push it.
Your best bet would be to allow her to take care of things, then the next time you see her bottom half, compliment how pretty she looks.  Ask if you can participate in a weekly touch-up.