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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2960 on: May 23, 2015, 12:48:34 AM
Good ones, Aaron, WOO!

You need to come up with more Cat jokes to piss off our resident cat-hating hunter. ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2961 on: May 23, 2015, 12:50:19 AM
            ANCIENT CHINESE PROVERB

Those who jump off bridge in Paris are in Seine.

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2962 on: May 24, 2015, 04:41:20 AM
         ANCIENT CHINESE PROVERB

Virginity like bubble. One stick, all gone.

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline aaron23062

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Reply #2963 on: May 24, 2015, 08:24:33 AM
Breaking news: Godzilla is attacking Pacific islands. Currently chewing Guam!

The truth is a three-edged sword.  -- Kosh

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2964 on: May 25, 2015, 02:40:53 AM
            ANCIENT CHINESE PROVERB

Woman who streaks is unsuited for her work

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #2965 on: May 25, 2015, 11:24:38 AM
A wedding occurred, just outside Cavan in Ireland.
To keep tradition going, everyone got drunk and the bride's and groom's families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other.
The Police get called in to break up the fight.
The following week, all members of both families appear in court.
The fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings calm with the use of his hammer, shouting "Silence in Court".
The court room goes silent and Paddy (the best man) stands up and says, "Judge.. I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened".
The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand.
Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride.
The judge says "OK".
"Well", said Paddy, "After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song.. when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates".
The Judge instantly responded... "God.. that must of hurt!"
Paddy replies "HURT!.. He broke three of my feckin fingers.”

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

DrRick947

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Reply #2966 on: May 26, 2015, 05:31:00 PM
Two high-society women are talking one Friday afternoon.  The first one laments, "Oh dear, my husband sent me flowers this morning.  Now I shall have to spend the weekend with my legs in the air."

The second woman replies, "Why dahling, don't you have a vahs?"


Offline vinney

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Reply #2967 on: May 28, 2015, 11:39:22 PM
The parish priest needs his house painted, so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house; he's sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him $5.
The boy looks at the money and says to the priest, "Thanks very much, Father. You're a virgin."
The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. The next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it's a really hot day, and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing.
The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad another $5 bill.
Once again the lad looks at the money and says, "Thanks very much, Father. You really are a virgin."
At this stage the priest decides to take action.
"Tommy," he says, "that's twice you've called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?"
"Yes," says the kid, "a tight cunt."

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline anvil

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Reply #2968 on: May 29, 2015, 02:06:59 PM
A U.S.Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his
staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the
colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained
that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to
get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just
how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
 
A major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A captain said it was 50%-50%.
A lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure,
​ depending upon his state  of inebriation at the time.
 
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making 
the coffee and asked for his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.”
The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me ​doing it for them.
" The room fell silent.


 
 God Bless the enlisted man.

 

Deus subrisum stultusi et ferrari

Offline redhatlover

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Reply #2969 on: May 29, 2015, 03:51:12 PM
There is major truth in that!

I am like Charlie the Tuna.  I don't want women with good taste, I want women who taste good.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2970 on: May 29, 2015, 09:26:30 PM
It's Friday! Apologize in advance for all the drunken mistakes you're going to make.

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2971 on: May 29, 2015, 09:27:40 PM
It's Friday! Apologize in advance for all the drunken mistakes you're going to make this weekend.

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline brody

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Reply #2972 on: May 29, 2015, 09:29:21 PM
Quote from: GEMINIGUY on May 29, 2015, 09:27:40 PM
It's Friday! Apologize in advance for all the drunken mistakes you're going to make this weekend.

Was the double post one of yours? ^^
 :emot_laughing:


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2973 on: May 29, 2015, 09:41:26 PM
I'm just one of the enlisted men. I do all the work, I don't have the answers. ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline brody

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Reply #2974 on: May 29, 2015, 09:46:07 PM
Quote from: GEMINIGUY on May 29, 2015, 09:41:26 PM
I'm just one of the enlisted men. I do all the work, I don't have the answers. ;-)

Ha-ha-ha!
.... good reply!


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2975 on: May 30, 2015, 06:40:16 AM
Rumor has it Dolly Parton is planning to cover John Denver's "Sunshine On My Shoulders".
She tweeked the lyrics, changing them to
"Sunshine
On my boulders
Makes me horny"

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #2976 on: May 30, 2015, 11:36:40 AM
Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.

Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless


Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman!  You don't need him anymore!  You're running for President of the United States.

Act like one.

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2977 on: May 30, 2015, 02:59:20 PM
OUCH! lol WOO, Vinney!

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2978 on: May 30, 2015, 03:00:53 PM
By the way, how did Abby know Clueless was, well, you know? ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2979 on: May 30, 2015, 03:29:18 PM
The stationary.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

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