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Offline aaron23062

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Reply #2920 on: April 28, 2015, 01:13:58 PM
For fans of Star Trek:

You'll never see a Klingon jockey win The Tribble Crown.

>squee!<   >squee!<

The truth is a three-edged sword.  -- Kosh

Offline vinney

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Reply #2921 on: April 28, 2015, 11:46:57 PM
Quote from: toeinh2o on April 28, 2015, 03:14:34 PM
Quote from: GEMINIGUY on April 28, 2015, 08:13:49 AM
Hey, Vinney, any chance there's enough of those Old Chinese Proverbs to start a thread on and do like five a day?

We have enough "Chinese Proverbs" already.

Confucius he say OK Toe...

vinney

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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2922 on: April 29, 2015, 05:22:37 AM
Vinney, that's no Chinese Proverb. That's China giving Hong Kong back to Britain! :P

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Scotty

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Reply #2923 on: April 29, 2015, 07:58:05 AM
that was NOT a joke dear  hahahahaha


Offline vinney

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Reply #2924 on: April 29, 2015, 11:46:10 PM

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2925 on: April 29, 2015, 11:47:44 PM
I'm all about the second one, Bonney.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

Offline vinney

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Reply #2926 on: April 30, 2015, 12:32:45 AM
Quote from: Katiebee on April 29, 2015, 11:47:44 PM
I'm all about the second one, Bonney.

I guessed that - but you been drinking Katie...? - where's Bonney come from...?

vinney  :emot_laughing:

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Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2927 on: April 30, 2015, 05:36:23 AM
autocorrect, George.

Besides, I don't need grief. My gf is going to Costa Rica for a month on a school internship.

I'm just really feeling low. She left today.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2015, 05:37:58 AM by Katiebee »

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.

Offline Well Behaved Lady

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Reply #2928 on: April 30, 2015, 10:03:35 AM
Quote from: Katiebee on April 30, 2015, 05:36:23 AM
autocorrect, George.

Besides, I don't need grief. My gf is going to Costa Rica for a month on a school internship.

I'm just really feeling low. She left today.


Chin up she'll be back, that's what I look forward too when someone I love goes away.


Offline vinney

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Reply #2929 on: April 30, 2015, 05:57:56 PM
Quote from: Katiebee on April 30, 2015, 05:36:23 AM
autocorrect, George.

Besides, I don't need grief. My gf is going to Costa Rica for a month on a school internship.

I'm just really feeling low. She left today.


Poor BeetieKay... I feel for you so, if you want some company whilst your gf is away I'll send Liz over...

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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2930 on: May 01, 2015, 12:12:34 AM
Bull. Vinney, I know you and Watcher want to keep Katie company.

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Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #2931 on: May 01, 2015, 12:16:45 AM
Quote from: GEMINIGUY on May 01, 2015, 12:12:34 AM
Bull. Vinney, I know you and Watcher want to keep Katie company.

 ;)

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Offline vinney

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Reply #2932 on: May 01, 2015, 12:35:46 AM
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he was getting out, a truck came barreling down the road, drifted right and completely tore off the driver's door.
Fortunately, a cop was close enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche with his lights flashing.
Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming hysterically about how his precious Porsche, which he had just purchased the day before, was completely ruined and no matter how any car body shop tried to make it new again, would never be the same.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief, "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said, "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed when the truck hit you!"
"OHH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. . . "My fuckin Rolex!"

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Offline Meatbot

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Reply #2933 on: May 01, 2015, 05:20:39 AM
Quote from: vinney on May 01, 2015, 12:35:46 AM
A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of his

HUMOROUS LAWYER JOKE SNIPPED

when the truck hit you!"
"OHH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. . . "My fuckin Rolex!"

That was pretty damn funny. Having the misfortune to be related to several lawyers, it is spot on.

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Offline vinney

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Reply #2934 on: May 01, 2015, 07:13:45 PM
A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."
Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister."
"I do?" questions the confused youngster.
"Sure," responds the dad. "You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."
The little girl gave this a few moments thought and remarked, "You mean like my other Daddy does?

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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2935 on: May 02, 2015, 04:11:41 AM
Ouch. :P File this under Kids Say The Darnedest Things

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Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline wanker77

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Reply #2936 on: May 02, 2015, 04:57:20 AM
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.


Offline Well Behaved Lady

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Reply #2937 on: May 05, 2015, 04:06:39 PM
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute. " Do you know who the father is?"
Prostitute replies, " Oh! for heavens sake, if you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart?


Offline TheGriffon

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Reply #2938 on: May 06, 2015, 04:29:21 AM
 Hellmann's Mayonnaise -

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.

The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.


The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
of course, as "Sinko de Mayo".


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2939 on: May 06, 2015, 07:35:52 AM
-groans- lol

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

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