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Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2480 on: June 02, 2014, 07:17:38 PM
Quote from: Geminiguy on June 02, 2014, 05:32:36 PM
Those female flies LOVE talking on the phone. ;-)
Quote from: Geminiguy on June 02, 2014, 05:32:36 PM
Those female flies LOVE talking on the phone. ;-)
Quote from: Geminiguy on June 02, 2014, 05:32:36 PM
Those female flies LOVE talking on the phone. ;-)
It's called communicating, you Neanderthal.
;)

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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2481 on: June 02, 2014, 08:07:42 PM
Guy: Hey, Joe! Wanna hang out?

Joe: Sure, man!

Guy: Be over in 5! (hangs up)

A woman will be on the phone with the same woman twelve hours straight. :P lol

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Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Well Behaved Lady

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Reply #2482 on: June 02, 2014, 09:54:31 PM
“A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next several months, he saw her doing this often. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning differently. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, and started stroking himself, moaning, "I need a bike! I need a bike!”


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2483 on: June 02, 2014, 10:58:57 PM
I wonder what mom will say when she sees and hears that! lol

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Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline msslave

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Reply #2484 on: June 14, 2014, 11:43:27 PM
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. 
'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.
'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.
 'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.
'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.
'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards! '

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline vinney

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Reply #2485 on: June 14, 2014, 11:47:10 PM
Quote from: msslave on June 14, 2014, 11:43:27 PM
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. 
'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.
'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.
 'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.
'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.
'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards! '


He must have been Bug-gered...

vinney

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Offline msslave

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Reply #2486 on: June 15, 2014, 12:17:33 AM
Great comeback line, Vinney.....if you're British. :emot_laughing:

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Offline vinney

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Reply #2487 on: June 15, 2014, 12:22:50 AM
Quote from: msslave on June 15, 2014, 12:17:33 AM
Great comeback line, Vinney.....if you're British. :emot_laughing:

Of course I am... ;D

vinney

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Offline animal210

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Reply #2488 on: June 16, 2014, 08:39:30 PM
What,s the difference between oooooh and aaaaah ?.

About 3 inches.


What,s the difference between being hungry and  being horny.?

Where you put the cucumber.



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2489 on: June 17, 2014, 04:01:57 AM
Great short jokes, WOO!

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline msslave

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Reply #2490 on: June 17, 2014, 06:54:27 PM
 
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked,
'Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?' The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
 
'Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?'
 
The little boy nodded 'yes'.
 
'So,' the coach continued, 'I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse,
attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that? '
 
The little boy nodded 'yes' again.
 
He continued, 'And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play too,
it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach "a dumb ass or shithead" is it?'
 
The little boy shook his head 'NO'.
 
'GOOD', said the coach . . . 'Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother!'

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2491 on: June 17, 2014, 10:38:51 PM
Little old granny always was an inspiration! :P lol

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #2492 on: June 17, 2014, 10:44:06 PM
"The Difference Between An Opinion And A Beer"?
I Asked For The Beer..............

Love,
Liz


Offline watcher1

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Reply #2493 on: June 18, 2014, 06:35:34 PM
How can you tell if a man is blind at a nudist colony?

It isn't hard.   8)

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Offline msslave

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Reply #2494 on: June 18, 2014, 08:25:47 PM
Good collection of two liners.  Thanks everyone. :emot_laughing:

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Offline msslave

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Reply #2495 on: June 19, 2014, 11:54:02 PM
The Agony of Aging

On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my
aging friend.  He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.

I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to
turn your clock back".

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2496 on: June 20, 2014, 05:08:57 AM
Hey, didn't you hear? It's the new craze, everyone wants black cock. :P

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Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #2497 on: June 21, 2014, 12:47:15 AM
Quote from: Geminiguy on June 20, 2014, 05:08:57 AM
Hey, didn't you hear? It's the new craze, everyone wants black cock. :P

Everyone...?  :o

vinney

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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2498 on: June 21, 2014, 06:54:22 AM
That's what I hear. :P

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Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline Kira1993

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Reply #2499 on: June 25, 2014, 01:53:28 AM
Elephant: Why do you have 2 boobs on your back?

Camel: Thats a silly question coming from someone who has a dick on his face!

Whoever said "Money cant buy you happiness" never owned a horse!

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