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Offline msslave

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Reply #2420 on: April 27, 2014, 09:16:28 PM
Official News Report

Today, an unnamed spokesman for the Muppets admitted this to the press.  Miss Piggy can not count to 70.

Every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.

                                           -30-

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline vinney

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Reply #2421 on: April 27, 2014, 11:52:03 PM
Official News Report

Today, an unnamed spokesman for the Muppets admitted this to the press.  Miss Piggy can not count to 70.

Every time she gets to 69, she gets a frog in her throat.

                                           -30-

Love it...!!

vinney

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Offline TheciaMarie

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Reply #2422 on: April 28, 2014, 06:56:22 PM
> A bit naughty but funny.....
> Subject: No Sense of Humor examples:   

> A woman in labor is screaming profanity at her husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey,
> don't blame me! I  wanted to stick it in your ass but NOOOOO, you said that might hurt!"
>   
>   
> I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted. I spent another $2,000 on a nose
> job for her. She was ecstatic. I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me
> enough! But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!!! Women, I
> can't figure them out!
>   
>   
> A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born, I don't mean to be rude but he
> doesn't look anything like my son. The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said I don't mean to
> be rude either, but this is a pussy...not a fucking photo-copier.
>   
>   
> I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing
> my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister...
>   
>   
> Dear Dr. Phil,
> I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless from my bedroom window. As I
> was jerking off I turned to notice my wife was just standing there, arms folded...watching me. Is
> she a pervert or what?

I thought I was into bestiality and necrophilia until I realized I was just beating a dead horse.


Janus

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Reply #2423 on: April 28, 2014, 07:26:36 PM
Thecia, those were great.... I really liked the last one. Woo



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2424 on: April 28, 2014, 09:00:08 PM
Dr. Phil says Yes your wife is a pervert. ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2425 on: April 29, 2014, 12:54:11 AM
Dr. Phil says Yes your wife is a pervert. ;-)
But so are you, and that makes your judgement here suspect.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2426 on: April 29, 2014, 12:58:48 AM
Well you don't want to know what Dr. Phil said about you... ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2427 on: April 29, 2014, 02:22:52 AM
Lies and damned lies.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2428 on: April 29, 2014, 02:41:23 AM
I won't tell Dr. Phil you said that. ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2429 on: April 29, 2014, 03:48:19 AM
I just called him up.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #2430 on: April 29, 2014, 06:22:44 PM
Lies and damned lies.

I can vouch for Katie.....
Love,
Liz



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2431 on: April 29, 2014, 07:00:04 PM
Dr. Phil had some things to say about you too... ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline msslave

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Reply #2432 on: April 29, 2014, 10:14:25 PM
A guy is driving around the back woods of  Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.  I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.'

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a Bullshitter. He's never been out of the yard

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #2433 on: April 29, 2014, 11:27:09 PM
Dr. Phil had some things to say about you too... ;-)

You and Dr. Phil can both " BITE ME" .
Love,
Liz
 :emot_laughing:



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2434 on: April 30, 2014, 06:05:58 PM
ON THE NEXT DR. PHIL:

A FEMALE HORSE TRAINER FROM NEW JERSEY AND HER FETISH WITH BEING BITTEN



;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline msslave

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Reply #2435 on: April 30, 2014, 09:57:47 PM
ON THE NEXT DR. PHIL:

A FEMALE HORSE TRAINER FROM NEW JERSEY AND HER FETISH WITH BEING BITTEN



;-)
I've never watched Dr. Phil's show.  This would get me to tune in tho'.
Will Liz point on where she likes to be bitten?

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #2436 on: April 30, 2014, 11:47:56 PM
Careful, guys. Liz May contract me for nuisance removal. Should I bring the one with the sharp pointy thing on it?

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #2437 on: May 01, 2014, 12:15:43 AM
Careful, guys. Liz May contract me for nuisance removal. Should I bring the one with the sharp pointy thing on it?

By all means Katie...I'll pay all expenses and first class air fare.
However I do have one request:    "Terminate them with extreme prejudice"
 :D
Love,
Liz



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #2438 on: May 01, 2014, 12:53:34 AM
It's hard gauge what Liz will do on live television. One word and she could blow a gasket. ;-) lol

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline Elizabeth

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Reply #2439 on: May 01, 2014, 02:07:48 AM
It's hard gauge what Liz will do on live television. One word and she could blow a gasket. ;-) lol

LOL...LOL...LOL..............
"BLOW THIS"
Love,
Liz