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Offline msslave

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Reply #3860 on: January 17, 2022, 06:20:54 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3861 on: January 17, 2022, 06:28:05 PM


Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #3862 on: January 17, 2022, 06:30:18 PM


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3863 on: January 17, 2022, 07:01:00 PM

:emot_thdrool:


Offline msslave

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Reply #3864 on: January 18, 2022, 08:52:20 PM
So a man was in the lingerie department looking lost and confused. The helpful clerk approached him and asked if she could help. The embarrassed fellow stammered a bit and finally blurted out that he needed to buy a new bra for his wife. The clerk said that's not a problem. What size is she?

Now our gentleman shopper was totally lost. All he could do was shake his head and shrug his shoulders. Trying to be patient the clerk asked, "Well is she a grapefrut?" A negative shake of the head. "OK, how about a tomato?"  Nope the man gulped out. In desperation the clerk asked, "How about an egg?" The man brightened and said Yes? An egg...fried. :emot_laughing:
 

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3865 on: January 21, 2022, 02:03:06 PM


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3866 on: January 21, 2022, 02:05:10 PM


Offline AB-2007

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Reply #3867 on: February 02, 2022, 01:57:28 PM
A lady walks into a store and asks where the XL condoms are kept.

The manager sends her off to the pharmacy section.

After ten minutes, the manager takes his routine a walk around the store to check on things. He finds the lady still in the Pharmacy section, humming to herself, just looking around. The manager goes up to her and asks, "Hello, did you find the condoms?"

"Oh, yeah," says the lady, pointing in the direction of the condoms, then goes back to humming.

The manager is confused, "Um, is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Oh no I'm fine," the lady said. "I'm just waiting for some guy to buy them."
« Last Edit: February 16, 2022, 04:38:39 AM by AB-2007 »


Offline MintJulie

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Reply #3868 on: February 02, 2022, 02:00:20 PM
Hey, she's pretty smart. I wish I would have thought of that 20 years ago.  j/k
Woo 180 for the laugh out loud you got from me AB

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Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #3869 on: February 02, 2022, 04:19:55 PM

Mrs ODK and I were walking in the area of Lambeth Palace in London when she said "I think that is the Archbishop of Canterbury across the road, go and see if it's him."
Obediantly I crossed the road, approached the gentleman in question and asked if he was indeed the Archbishop.
"Fuck off" he replied. 
Crestfallen I retraced my steps.
"Was it him?" asked Mrs ODK.
"He told me to fuck off."
"That's a shame", she said, "now we will never know."

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about

Offline msslave

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Reply #3870 on: February 02, 2022, 04:42:19 PM
 :emot_laughing: Hey, even an Archbishop can have a bad day.

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline MintJulie

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Reply #3871 on: February 02, 2022, 05:10:25 PM
Quote from: ObiDongKenobi on February 02, 2022, 04:19:55 PM

Mrs ODK and I were walking in the area of Lambeth Palace in London when she said "I think that is the Archbishop of Canterbury across the road, go and see if it's him."
Obediantly I crossed the road, approached the gentleman in question and asked if he was indeed the Archbishop.
"Fuck off" he replied. 
"

Gosh, I hope this is a true story, Obs.

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Hilda

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Reply #3872 on: February 03, 2022, 12:58:31 AM
My favorite story in the 'recognizing famous people' line concerns philosopher and mathematician Bertrand Russell.

One day he got into a London cab and gave the cabbie his destination. After a minute or two, the cabbie looked back and said, "So, what's it all about?"


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3873 on: February 06, 2022, 05:17:16 AM


Offline watcher1

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Reply #3874 on: February 07, 2022, 03:37:35 PM
« Last Edit: February 07, 2022, 05:08:46 PM by MintJulie »

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3875 on: February 07, 2022, 06:02:42 PM
Quote from: watcher1 on February 07, 2022, 03:37:35 PM
https://i.postimg.cc/8Pw0tGR8/Fd3-Ma-R9-RWQA4-Vr-Vm.jpg
That’s a classic!  :D ;D :emot_laughing:

Also,

English teacher: Ok boys, time for a question: If Charles has a dog, then who’s would it be?
Bob : Ma’am it would be Charles’ dog.
English teacher: Very good Bob, Now Charles, if Bob has a cat, then who’s would it be?
Charles: Bobcat?

I know, probably not that good.


Hilda

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Reply #3876 on: February 08, 2022, 12:29:43 AM
Quote from: Asmodel on February 07, 2022, 06:02:42 PM
English teacher: Ok boys, time for a question: If Charles has a dog, then who’s would it be?

I read somewhere that, below a certain age, children have difficulty answering questions like that.

Q. Do you have a brother, Bobby?
A. Yes, miss.
Q. Does your brother have a brother?
A. No, miss.

Apparently it takes a while for children to develop the ability to see things from another person's point of view.


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3877 on: February 08, 2022, 06:17:05 AM
Quote from: Hilda on February 08, 2022, 12:29:43 AM
I read somewhere that, below a certain age, children have difficulty answering questions like that.
Apparently it takes a while for children to develop the ability to see things from another person's point of view.
I’m sorry about that Hilda, I should’ve thought about that…
Please do lmk, if it needs to be changed.


Hilda

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Reply #3878 on: February 08, 2022, 06:34:41 AM
Quote from: Asmodel on February 08, 2022, 06:17:05 AM
Quote from: Hilda on February 08, 2022, 12:29:43 AM
I read somewhere that, below a certain age, children have difficulty answering questions like that.
Apparently it takes a while for children to develop the ability to see things from another person's point of view.
I’m sorry about that Hilda, I should’ve thought about that…
Please do lmk, if it needs to be changed.

Nothing needs to be changed, Asmodel. That was just me clattering away at my keyboard when your post triggered a stray memory.

And my post would have made a lot more sense if I could remember at what age kids are able to make the switch. Sorry for coming over as a pompous old windbag.


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3879 on: February 12, 2022, 04:36:35 PM
Suitable for all. No matter whether you might know the show or not.


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