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Offline msslave

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Reply #3820 on: October 03, 2021, 06:03:43 PM
Sometimes I talk to myself.
Then we both laugh and laugh. :D

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Hoss

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Reply #3821 on: October 04, 2021, 02:27:48 AM
The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. 
I get home ... and guess what I found?  Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! 
This is unforgivable!  The end of our marriage.  I'm done.  I'm leaving forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. 
Jean would never do such a   thing!  There must be a simple explanation.  I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"Paddy, there I told you there must be a simple explanation.............. She never got your email!" :roll: :roll:

Australian Kissing.....just like the French - but done "Down Under"...

Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3822 on: October 04, 2021, 06:36:57 AM
 :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing: :emot_laughing:
Quote from: Hoss on October 04, 2021, 02:27:48 AM
The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy, in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. 
I get home ... and guess what I found?  Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! 
This is unforgivable!  The end of our marriage.  I'm done.  I'm leaving forever!"

"Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. 
Jean would never do such a   thing!  There must be a simple explanation.  I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"Paddy, there I told you there must be a simple explanation.............. She never got your email!" :roll: :roll:


Offline msslave

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Reply #3823 on: October 11, 2021, 11:51:24 AM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3824 on: October 11, 2021, 01:25:59 PM
A man sits at a bar, smiling.
The Bartender : What’s up?
The man : My ex wife still misses me.
The bartender : Do you miss her too?
The man : No, she got the only gun in the divorce.


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3825 on: October 11, 2021, 01:30:39 PM
Question: What animal should wear a wig?
Answer : A bald eagle.


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3826 on: October 11, 2021, 01:34:26 PM
A man walked into his doctors office, and asked him for 3 viagra pills. The doctor asked, "Why only 3?"

The man said, "Well, Friday my secretary is coming over, Saturday my girlfriend is coming over, and Sunday, my wife is coming home form her vacation".
The doctor said, "That's more than I wanted to know, but here's your 3 pills".

A week later the doctor saw the man at the gas station, his arm in a cast and sling.
"What happened to you? Did the women all find out about one another?" the doctor asked. The man said "No... nobody showed up!"


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3827 on: October 11, 2021, 01:36:01 PM
Question : Why do they serve snails only at fancy restaurants ?
Answer : Because their customers don’t like fast food.


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3828 on: October 11, 2021, 01:37:27 PM
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.
A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."


Offline msslave

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Reply #3829 on: October 26, 2021, 12:39:40 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline msslave

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Reply #3830 on: November 04, 2021, 12:44:42 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline msslave

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Reply #3831 on: November 05, 2021, 09:18:40 PM
Well...this takes me back to my to my youth. Now it's funny...back then a nightmare. ;D
How to unhook a bra https://imgur.com/gallery/sDRu9Y1

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #3832 on: November 19, 2021, 01:15:42 PM
This is really more of a daily fact.

Studies show that men feel smarter, retain knowledge easier, and can remember things better right after sex... well of course they would, they were just plugged into a genius.


Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #3833 on: November 19, 2021, 04:37:06 PM
Quote from: Shiela_M on November 19, 2021, 01:15:42 PM
This is really more of a daily fact.

Studies show that men feel smarter, retain knowledge easier, and can remember things better right after sex... well of course they would, they were just plugged into a genius.

 ;D ;D ;D

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about

Offline msslave

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Reply #3834 on: November 22, 2021, 09:50:22 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline ObiDongKenobi

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Reply #3835 on: November 23, 2021, 12:22:01 PM
 ;D ;D

Princess, would you like to see it light up and hum when I wave it about

Offline watcher1

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Reply #3836 on: November 23, 2021, 02:55:05 PM
In an old-age home, an elderly man who is a resident sits alone on a bench. A female resident comes up to him and sits next to him and asks, "You look so sad. Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?"

The man says, "Well, yes. My wife died years ago and since then no one has touched my penis. It would be so nice if you could just hold it in your hand for a little while while we talk."

So the woman agrees and holds his penis as they talk. Thereafter, each day, the woman meets the man on the bench and holds his penis while they talk.

Then one day the woman sees another woman sitting next to the man holding his penis. The original woman is angry and walk up to the man and says "What's she got that I don't have?"

And the man looks up at her, smiles, and says:

"Parkinsons!"

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.

Offline msslave

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Reply #3837 on: November 29, 2021, 01:01:35 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #3838 on: November 29, 2021, 03:18:51 PM
Quote from: msslave on November 29, 2021, 01:01:35 PM


I saw something else before I even looked at the text :evil:


Offline msslave

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Reply #3839 on: November 29, 2021, 03:30:12 PM
Of course you did. Your user ID says it all. :emot_laughing:

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville

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