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Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #3800 on: July 15, 2021, 01:27:44 AM
I laughed at that too hard

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:



Offline MintJulie

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Reply #3801 on: July 15, 2021, 03:37:08 AM
I laughed at that too hard

 :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:


haha, me too.

Woo #595 for Lady Shiela.   But it's really for her daddy. #dadjokes

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          You might not know this, but I have a thing for Tom Brady (and Bill Clinton)
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Offline Shiela_M

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  • I said it's weird, not that I wouldn't do it.
Reply #3802 on: July 19, 2021, 05:12:08 AM



Offline msslave

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Reply #3803 on: July 19, 2021, 01:07:25 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


_priapism

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Reply #3804 on: July 19, 2021, 05:32:38 PM



_priapism

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Reply #3805 on: July 24, 2021, 02:09:47 PM

A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "_I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?"_ No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…
Finally, one man says, "_Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m._" He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late. They roll their eyes, but say, "_Okay_."
She's there at 6:30 am. sharp and beats all of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She's fun and pleasant and the guys are impressed. They congratulate her and invite her back the next week. She smiles, and says, "_I'll be there at 6:30, or 6:45."_
The next week she again shows up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she plays left-handed. The three guys are incredulous as she still beats them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand.
They're totally amazed. They can't figure her out. She's very pleasant and a gracious winner. They invite her back again, but each man harbors a burning desire to beat her. The third week, she's 15 minutes late, which irritates the guys. This week she plays right-handed and narrowly beats all three of them.
The men grumble that her late arrival is petty gamesmanship on her part. However, she's so charming and complimentary of their strong play, they can't hold a grudge. This woman is a riddle no one can figure out.
They have a couple of beers in the Clubhouse and finally, one of the men asks her, "_How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"_
The lady blushes, and grins. "_When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned that I was ambidextrous_." she replies. "_I like to switch back and forth."_
"_When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers off him. If his willie points to the right, I golf right-handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed_." The guys think this is hysterical.
Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys says, "_What if it's pointing straight up?"_
She says, "_Then, I'm fifteen minutes late_." 🤣🤣🤣



Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #3806 on: July 28, 2021, 02:49:35 AM
Guys if you're going to send me a dick pic, you don't have to use a food filter.



Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #3807 on: July 28, 2021, 02:56:04 AM
Guys if you're going to send me a dick pic, you don't have to use a food filter.

What, you didn't like the little shrimp I sent you?  :'(

:emot_laughing:



Offline Jed_

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Reply #3808 on: July 28, 2021, 04:18:22 AM
Guys if you're going to send me a dick pic, you don't have to use a food filter.


Not sure what a food filter is, but mentioning food sounds like me?



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3809 on: July 30, 2021, 03:30:53 PM
Normal family breakfast:
Mom dad and little son:
Son sees Mom’s driver license:
Written on it : Sex F
Son : “, Mom, you’re so bad at Sex, you got an F!”
Dad died laughing.



Offline blackdog

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Reply #3810 on: August 11, 2021, 11:42:57 PM
Why does an elephant have four feet?
Because it'd look stupid with just 6 inches.

Inside every "God bless your heart" is a tiny "F**k you"


Offline blackdog

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Reply #3811 on: September 08, 2021, 07:56:22 PM
I met Mrs. Penrose in the town this morning and after exchanging greetings I asked if Mr. Penrose was well.
"Oh no!" she replied, "I'm afraid he died three  weeks ago. He went into the garden to get a cabbage for our dinner and dropped dead right there in the cabbage patch."
"Oh my goodness", I said "What ever did you do?"
"I didn't know what to do at first," she said,  "but after thinking about the situation I was in I decided to open a tin of peas." 

Inside every "God bless your heart" is a tiny "F**k you"


Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #3812 on: September 11, 2021, 11:02:16 PM
Oldie but goldie

What do you call the useless piece of skin that hangs off a penis?

A man.



Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3813 on: September 12, 2021, 06:26:35 AM
A Classic,
A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.



Offline purpleshoes

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Reply #3814 on: September 28, 2021, 02:00:35 PM
A male worker bee dies after mating.

So basically, his life is...

Honey. Nut. Cheerio.




Offline seeker83

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Reply #3815 on: September 28, 2021, 02:47:57 PM
A male worker bee dies after mating.

So basically, his life is...

Honey. Nut. Cheerio.

I gave this a Woo.  :D



Offline msslave

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Reply #3816 on: September 29, 2021, 01:37:45 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Clitical Thinking

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Reply #3817 on: September 29, 2021, 02:40:23 PM
🤣🤣🤣



Offline msslave

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Reply #3818 on: October 02, 2021, 02:30:12 PM

Well trained and been made compliant....by my cat Neville


Offline Asmodel

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Reply #3819 on: October 02, 2021, 03:17:55 PM

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣