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Offline vinney

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Reply #300 on: June 08, 2012, 02:20:05 PM
The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was
'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good Morning, Onestone.' 

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

 
Why?


OH, come on... Take a guess !!!

 
Think about it !!!

 
You're going to love this !!! Not a lot, but you'll love it...


Everyone Knows...







You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!
 

 
 
 
 

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline redhatlover

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Reply #301 on: June 08, 2012, 03:10:07 PM
Quote from: vinney on June 08, 2012, 02:20:05 PM
The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was
'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good Morning, Onestone.' 

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird , who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

 
Why?


OH, come on... Take a guess !!!

 
Think about it !!!

 
You're going to love this !!! Not a lot, but you'll love it...


Everyone Knows...







You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!
 

 
 
 
 


The pun police will get you for that, Vinney!

I am like Charlie the Tuna.  I don't want women with good taste, I want women who taste good.

Offline vinney

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Reply #302 on: June 08, 2012, 03:20:00 PM
Seems I'm getting it in the proverbial every way today... hehe...

vinney

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #303 on: June 08, 2012, 11:33:01 PM
You really dragged that one out, Vin. :P

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Offline vinney

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Reply #304 on: June 09, 2012, 12:05:53 AM
Ah... it's just the way I tell 'em...

 :roll:

Sorry to disappoint you...

vinney

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #305 on: June 09, 2012, 01:28:53 AM
Not disappointed at all. :P means i'm messing with you. ;)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

TinyDancer

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Reply #306 on: June 10, 2012, 05:01:27 PM

A Blonde At Work

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."


Offline vinney

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Reply #307 on: June 10, 2012, 05:05:42 PM
Becca...! You love your blondes don't you...?  Keep it up...(cough) the great jokes I mean...

vinney

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #308 on: June 10, 2012, 08:31:01 PM
Next time the blonde leaves work early she can come to my house. ;)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

TinyDancer

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Reply #309 on: June 11, 2012, 02:56:14 PM

Performance Reviews

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.

(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."

(2) "His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity."

(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."

(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."

(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

(11) "This employee should go far...and the sooner he starts, the better."

(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

(17) "He's been working with glue too much."

(18) "He would argue with a signpost."

(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored...he's the other one."

(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."

(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."

(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."

(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."

(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge he only gargled."

(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

(35) "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."


coacheric

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Reply #310 on: June 11, 2012, 03:44:43 PM
How did you get a copy of our exit interviews??


TinyDancer

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Reply #311 on: June 11, 2012, 03:50:06 PM
Hehe Eric....you know I'm gonna have to get me some *cough* payback for that remark. 


Offline vinney

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Reply #312 on: June 11, 2012, 09:33:52 PM
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.

He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.

His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline vinney

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Reply #313 on: June 11, 2012, 09:38:20 PM
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years.

They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years
ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?"

Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,"My nipples are as hot for you
today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal||||||"                     

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

coacheric

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Reply #314 on: June 11, 2012, 09:39:25 PM
Both good ones Vinney. Can always count on you making me laugh


Offline vinney

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Reply #315 on: June 11, 2012, 09:51:20 PM
A young man goes to a doctor for a physical examination. When he gets into the room, the man strips for his exam. He has a dick the size of a little kid's little finger. A nurse standing in the room sees his little dick and begins to laugh hysterically.

The young man gives her a stern look and say, "You shouldn't laugh, it's been swollen like that for two weeks now!"


A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"


Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: Why couldn't they get the dead mans casket lid shut?
A: Because he overdosed on viagra!

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.

Q: What do you call ball's on your chin?
A: A dick in your mouth!

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline vinney

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Reply #316 on: June 11, 2012, 09:55:23 PM
Quote from: coacheric on June 11, 2012, 09:39:25 PM
Both good ones Vinney. Can always count on you making me laugh

Thanks Coach... it's a pleasure to be pleasuring you...  :roll: if you see what I mean...

vinney

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.

Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #317 on: June 12, 2012, 03:33:06 AM
I agree with Coach. I love the naked old couple in the kitchen and the newer ones had me rolling.

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant

Janus

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Reply #318 on: June 12, 2012, 12:54:24 PM
One day a mother was cleaning her son's bedroom. In the closet she found an S&M magazine. She showed it to his Father and asked what they should do. He responded "well, I don't think we should spank him."


Janus


Janus

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Reply #319 on: June 12, 2012, 12:58:06 PM
A man was nervous about having his prostate examind.
To put him at ease, his Dr. said, "At this stage of the procedure, It's quite normal to get an erection".
"I don't have an erection" the man said.
"No" the Dr. replied
"But I do"

Janus


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