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Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1760 on: September 19, 2013, 02:30:53 AM
If it's a needle, Katie will find the BIGGEST one she can find.
Hopefully it's not shock treatment. Isn't that illegal now???

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1761 on: September 19, 2013, 02:46:42 AM
Actually shock therapy is making a steady comeback. It isn't illegal in my State at all.



gomez38555

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Reply #1762 on: September 19, 2013, 03:02:58 AM
Actually shock therapy is making a steady comeback. It isn't illegal in my State at all.

speaking from personal experience there?  Feeling a little frazzled?



Janus

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Reply #1763 on: September 19, 2013, 03:05:32 AM
Actually shock therapy is making a steady comeback. It isn't illegal in my State at all.

speaking from personal experience there?  Feeling a little frazzled?

Just woke. Heading out now......Ugh



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1764 on: September 19, 2013, 11:19:13 AM
Ahhh, more gender-bashing. lol

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1765 on: September 19, 2013, 01:48:02 PM
A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.

The maid, with her Gallic ancestry, couldn't allow such abuse to go unanswered. "Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself."

The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing.

"And furthermore," the angry girl continued, "I am better in bed than you!"

"And I suppose my husband told you that, too?"

"No, Madam," said the maid. "Not your husband ... the mail man!"



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1766 on: September 19, 2013, 01:50:59 PM
Ouch!
Of course you know this was followed by a catfight. ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1767 on: September 19, 2013, 01:54:54 PM
Ouch!
Of course you know this was followed by a catfight. ;-)

I was hoping a Pillow fight....hahaha



Offline TheciaMarie

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Reply #1768 on: September 19, 2013, 02:50:55 PM
What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the beverage fostered some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.
Soon thereafter, I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women usually maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a kick in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive reasoning, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." Case closed.
It is time for another beer.

I thought I was into bestiality and necrophilia until I realized I was just beating a dead horse.


Offline TheciaMarie

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Reply #1769 on: September 19, 2013, 05:56:33 PM
Jim and Bob, two friends, met in the park every day to feed
the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.


One day Jim didn't show up. Bob didn't think much about
it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after
Jim hadn't shown up for a week or so,  Bob really got
worried. However, since the only time they ever got together
was at the park, Bob didn't know where Jim lived, so he
was unable to find out what had happened to him.


A month had passed, and Bob figured he had seen the last
of Jim, but one day Bob approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Jim!
Bob was very excited and happy to
see him and told him so.

Then he said, 'For crying out loud Jim, what in the world happened to you?'


Jim replied, 'I have been in jail.'


'Jail!' cried Bob. What in the world for?'


'Well,' Jim said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress
at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

 


'Yeah,' said Bob, 'I remember her..... What about her?


'Well, the little gold-digging witch figured I was rich and she
filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so
proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty'.


'The judge gave me 30 days for  perjury.'


--
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.  Lord Byron


I thought I was into bestiality and necrophilia until I realized I was just beating a dead horse.


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1770 on: September 19, 2013, 06:06:02 PM
lol That judge sucked [No, Janus, not THAT way..]! He'd have to take the stand for it to be perjury. :P

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline Lippy

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Reply #1771 on: September 19, 2013, 06:46:07 PM
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated." 
"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.
 "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done" replies Steve. 
"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"
 "I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind -- either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."
 "Well, OK.", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!" 

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.
 "Hi there," says Steve,"It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." 
"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised." 
Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "Shit! THAT'S the word!”



A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.

One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."
The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."



joe_and_michelle

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Reply #1772 on: September 20, 2013, 06:31:37 PM
A man is sitting at the bar in his local tavern, drinking shot after shot of whiskey. One of his friends happens to come into the bar and sees him.

"Lou," says the shocked friend, "what are you doing? I've known you for over fifteen years, and I've never seen you take a drink before. What's going on?"

Without even taking his eyes off his newly filled shot glass, the man replies, "My wife just ran off with my best friend."

He then throws back another shot of whisky in one gulp.

"But," says the other man, "I'm your best friend!"

Lou turns, looks at him through bloodshot eyes, smiles, and then slurs, "Not anymore! The guy that ran off with my wife is!"



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1773 on: September 20, 2013, 08:02:09 PM
lol Ahhh, a celebratory drinking binge!

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1774 on: September 20, 2013, 08:24:33 PM
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...' At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.' At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.'



Janus

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Reply #1775 on: September 20, 2013, 08:26:57 PM
A woman is in labour, shouting and screaming as usual. She says to the doctors " ... get this out of me, give me drugs!"

She turns to her boyfriend and says " You did this to me you fucker..."

He replies casually, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your ass but you said 'fuck off it'll be too painful', Now who's laughing..."



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1776 on: September 20, 2013, 08:42:04 PM
Janus, i'm so sorry you're son ratted you out. ;-)
The second one was just cruel. :P

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1777 on: September 20, 2013, 08:53:40 PM
Janus, i'm so sorry you're son ratted you out. ;-)
The second one was just cruel. :P

Hahahahaha...Nice one GG.



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1778 on: September 20, 2013, 10:23:27 PM
Do you think little will be like daddy when he grows up? ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1779 on: September 20, 2013, 10:24:41 PM
Do you think little will be like daddy when he grows up? ;-)

Truthfully?   

NO I certainly hope not.