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Offline vinney

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Reply #1740 on: September 17, 2013, 12:34:59 AM
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first woman teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men who immediately fell to the ground, clasped his hands together at his crotch, rolling around in total agony.

The woman rushed over to the man and began to apologize. She explained that she was a Physio Therapist: "Please allow me to help, I'm a Physio Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" she told him earnestly.

"Ummph, oooh, nooo, I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, so he finally allowed her to help him.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants, then put her hands inside. She began to massage his crotch and asked him: "How does that feel?"

To which he replied: "Feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell!"

If you've got a cock then use it, if you're a lady abuse it.


TinyDancer

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Reply #1741 on: September 17, 2013, 04:25:08 PM
Loved it Lippy...I reckon mom was practicing her "right" to sexual satisfaction, lol.

Vinney my love, why you think I like running so much.   :emot_kiss:

Thanks for the laughs y'all.



Janus

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Reply #1742 on: September 17, 2013, 06:08:04 PM
A young boy in bath with his mum asks: "What's that hairy thing?

Mum says:"That's my sponge.

The says: "Oh yeah, babysitters got one too. I have seen her washing Dads face with it."

===========================================================

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?   



Janus

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Reply #1743 on: September 17, 2013, 06:15:46 PM
A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning.

Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. Just then, his wife "sleepily" sat up and said, "Honey, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."

"Certainly, honey," he said. Feeling his way across the dark room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store. As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the pharmacist, "I know you - aren't you a policeman? Officer Fenwick, right?"

"Yeah, sure. So?" said the officer.

"Well, what the heck are you doing all dressed up like the Fire Chief?"



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1744 on: September 17, 2013, 08:41:21 PM
Ouch! lol

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1745 on: September 18, 2013, 05:26:55 PM
A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing.

"Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"

"No!" she shrieked, aghast.

So, he dropped her. As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her.

"Do you screw?" he asked.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too.

The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor.

"I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.

"Slut!" he said, and dropped her.



Offline Katiebee

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Reply #1746 on: September 18, 2013, 05:35:24 PM
I have no idea why the third man dropped her. A good slut is a terrible thing to waste.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Janus

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Reply #1747 on: September 18, 2013, 05:40:59 PM
I have no idea why the third man dropped her. A good slut is a terrible thing to waste.

AMEN to that. Woo



gomez38555

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Reply #1748 on: September 18, 2013, 06:40:39 PM
I've never particularly wanted a girl that has "been around the block".  Down the street a house or two is a different matter.



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1749 on: September 18, 2013, 07:52:57 PM
Hey, Katie, would you catch Janus? ;-)

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1750 on: September 18, 2013, 07:56:17 PM
Hey, Katie, would you catch Janus? ;-)

Please Katie, tell him yes..... :emot_kiss:



Offline Katiebee

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Reply #1751 on: September 18, 2013, 08:21:49 PM
Well, to be consistent, yes.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Janus

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Reply #1752 on: September 18, 2013, 08:26:00 PM



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1753 on: September 18, 2013, 08:38:53 PM
You've caught Janus before???

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #1754 on: September 18, 2013, 08:40:25 PM
Yes. But with medical help it got better.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


gomez38555

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Reply #1755 on: September 18, 2013, 11:07:09 PM
You've caught Janus before???

Treatment for Janus came up in Pharmacology class yesterday.



Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1756 on: September 19, 2013, 12:04:57 AM
Good one, Gomez! Glad there's treatment. Is it painful? :P

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Offline Katiebee

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Reply #1757 on: September 19, 2013, 12:15:28 AM
Only for Janus.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't.


Offline GEMINIGUY

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Reply #1758 on: September 19, 2013, 12:29:53 AM
Ouch! lol

"If it's good enough for the Gemini Guys
Then it's good enough for me" - Adam Ant


Janus

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Reply #1759 on: September 19, 2013, 12:47:53 AM
Only for Janus.

Great....I at least hope it will be you that administers the "Treatment".