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Have you had the 13 (make that 25) kinds of sex? Deets please.

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Offline Sweetums

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'
I found this really stupid article that lists these 13 kinds of sex "that everyone should have at least once in their lives". I'm sure there are many, many more kinds, but they seemed like fun kinds, so what the hell. Maybe you'll get a new bucket list item. Here are the kinds they came up with:

1. Awkward Sex

2. First Time You Knew What You Were Doing

3. Zero-Inhibitions Sex

4. Make-Up Sex That is Worth the Fight

5. Sex So Good You Accidentally Break Things

6. Morning Sex That Makes You Late for Work

7. OMG-I-Can't-Believe-I-Did-That Sex

8. The Never-Again Position

9. Super-Loud Piss-Off-Your-Neighbors Sex

10. Goodbye Sex

11. Sex With the BEST Possible Soundtrack

12. The One Where Your Partner Does All the Work

13. So-In-Love-It's-Stupid Sex

Bonus Round (much thanks to Toe)

14. Public Sex.

15. Elevator Sex.

16. Sex at the Office.

17. Role Reversal Sex.

18. Sex In The Same Room As Her Parents.

19. Mile High Club Sex.

20. I Hate You Sex.

21. Sex While Driving.

22. Hospital Room Sex.

23. Sex at School.

24. Sex in a Public Restroom.

25. Sex on a Video Broadcast.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 01:59:55 AM by Sweetums »



Offline MintJulie

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Reply #1 on: December 05, 2020, 10:57:34 PM
hahaha  as I began reading it through, I was thinking I'd probably check off each.  Nope.
Close.  Yes to all except


4.  I can't really recall a time ever having makeup sex.  I need things to settle down before I can get into love making.

10.  Goodbye sex.     Nope.  Never.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2020, 05:00:07 AM by MintJulie »

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Reply #2 on: December 06, 2020, 12:17:49 AM
1. Awkward Sex - Yes

2. First Time You Knew What You Were Doing - Yes

3. Zero-Inhibitions Sex - Yes

4. Make-Up Sex That is Worth the Fight - Yes

5. Sex So Good You Accidentally Break Things - Yes

6. Morning Sex That Makes You Late for Work - No

7. OMG-I-Can't-Believe-I-Did-That Sex - Yes

8. The Never-Again Position - Yes

9. Super-Loud Piss-Off-Your-Neighbors Sex - No

10. Goodbye Sex - Yes

11. Sex With the BEST Possible Soundtrack - Yes

12. The One Where Your Partner Does All the Work - Yes

13. So-In-Love-It's-Stupid Sex - Yes



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Reply #3 on: December 06, 2020, 12:43:20 AM
I've only done 1, 2, maybe 7, definitely 9 (if the noise complaints are any indication), maybe 12, and definitely 13.

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Reply #4 on: December 06, 2020, 01:09:05 AM
Fair is fair. Here are my answers:

1. Awkward Sex. I am an awkward person generally, so sure, but I don't think I've ever felt like the entire episode was awkward. My first gf/high school sweetheart/wife and I were both virgins, and we each thought the other was a perfect being, so although our progress together was halting and tentative, it never felt particularly awkward. In a sense, we didn't know enough to be awkward. More generally, I've had plenty of isolated incidents of head banging, teeth banging, penis slips out near the end and wham! bent penis, condom breaking, you thought she knew it was condom off but she thought it was condom on creampie, crying out x's name during sex with y (only once, thank God), gf buried in collapsed couch, fold out bed, cot, or bed.

2. First Time You Knew What You Were Doing. My first and I were humming along with great results all around after the first few times. We probably knew practically nothing, but we were both having a fantastic time, and this question is certainly a subjective one.

3. Zero-Inhibitions Sex. There was this one girl. Third date, she shows up on my doorstep wearing an overcoat with only lingerie underneath. I carry her straight to the bedroom. First time we've had sex. As we're wrestling there, she says, "slap my tits." I had never intentionally done anything that might be painful to a woman, so I gave them something more than a tap. I'm a hugely built martial arts guy who easily outweighed her by a factor of two. She says, "much harder." She taught me things. She got what she asked for, and we had a very memorable night that improved my lovemaking from that night on.

4. Make-Up Sex That is Worth the Fight. So many times, but not memorably. When a relationship is growing, the sex is always better than the fight. When a relationship is collapsing, it's never worth the fight. The times I remember are the latter, and you don't want to hear about those. I suppose the former are forgotten along with the disagreement. I haven't argued much with any of my SO's.

5. Sex So Good You Accidentally Break Things. I am enormous, as I said, so I break things even if the sex was bad. Memorable times have been when I demolished an IKEA bed frame while continuing to fuck her silly -- that time was good. One girl owned this huge wrought iron king size bed that weighed maybe 600 pounds. Woke up one morning and realized I had fucked her so long and so hard the night before that I moved the bed diagonally across the floor about a foot. She liked it hard very, very much and so had offered me lots of encouragement throughout the night. Nice oak floor. Four deep bad scratches. That time was also very good.

6. Morning Sex That Makes You Late for Work. I've never had a job where I was required to clock in and clock out at exact times. I know, I am terribly spoiled, but not unhappy about this. I have called in sick so I could keep having sex all day.

7. OMG-I-Can't-Believe-I-Did-That Sex. Absolutely. I remember a time where wife #2 and I went camping with five other couples. These were ordinary, professional, fairly straight-laced people all but one of which we'd known for years. Some we'd even been hiking or camping with before. My wife and I were very hot for each other that night; there's something about a new venue. There was a lot of very discreet rustling but little else coming from the other tents by the time we were getting very serious. We both felt really intense, and soon she was turning 50 shades of pink trying to keep her sound in, then she suddenly gave up and let out this deafening howl. She had been really bottling up the sound for a while, and she was normally very vocal. It was one of those incredible sounds, and I thought, at least, everyone would know it had been her, and maybe they did. Some giggles and chuckles from other tents followed in the deafening silence. That opened up the floodgates. Lots of whimpering and even louder sounds from at least two of the other women after that. She stopped holding her breath and made her normal amount of noise, which was not deafening, but must have been pretty exciting for the others to listen to. She has a beautiful voice. I like to make a lot of noise too, so fuck it, I didn't hold back at the end, but didn't make a ton of noise like she had. I guess I was shy. Occaisional growls and grunts from other guys. I remember waking up later, and somebody was having noticably unquiet sex. This happened two or three times during the night. We took our turn before dawn and then fell asleep until most of the others were rummaging around outside already. In the morning, it was not openly discussed.

8. The Never-Again Position. Less sexual positions and more surfaces. The beach is very dangerous but not quite in this category. Just say no to doing on the playa. Plenty of surfaces that were too hard and scuffed her knees, back or other parts. Couches that were too soft where she submerged under me and I had to get off. Bouncy beds and matresses where you could not get into any kind of reasonable resonance that worked.

9. Super-Loud Piss-Off-Your-Neighbors Sex. Stand out memorable times when wife #2 (the camping one) and I were first dating. Extremely loud sex in the bedroom of my condo in Larkspur. Nastygram from downstairs neighbor taped to my door talking about how her daughter had been permanently scarred, etc. We shut all the windows in the place, which probably helped a little.

10. Goodbye Sex. Most memorably, I tried to break up with wife #3, the current Mrs. Sweetums, at least three times. I thought I was bad for her, and I was probably right. I couldn't/wouldn't break up long distance, and this led to me breaking up with her and her crying and screaming at me a couple of times after the best sex I'd had in my life. I felt pretty guilty, but I couldn't help myself. I had to have that one last taste. But she knew me too well. She would invite me for coffee the next week to "talk about it". She would wear a low cut dress with a shiny necklace and recapture me. Now that I'm legally captured, she never wears dresses. :-(

11. Sex With the BEST Possible Soundtrack. I'm very distractable, so I don't really play music during sex. I expect my partner has on occaision, but I'm pretty single-minded and don't remember a single song I've ever had sex during.

12. The One Where Your Partner Does All the Work. This is on my bucket list. Being proprtionately huge, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl don't work on me; I'm just too wide-hipped. Even a girlfriend I had once that was 6'1" couldn't do it comfortably. And the squatting thing, I guess I've never had a girl athletic enough to do the whole thing that way. I've had her share the work by pushing backwards in doggie style, but I'm just too tempted to participate with that one.

13. So-In-Love-It's-Stupid Sex. So many times. The most memorable of these for me was a time after wife #2 had cut me loose. This woman and I had taken a year long professional course together, and after that she moved away, but we were entrepreneurship buddies, and we had these weekly phone calls that turned into daily calls. She lived in Washington state and I lived in California at the time. We were always SFW flirty with each other, but on these calls, we started being NSFW flirty all of a sudden, and I found out she had broken up with her SO. Then we got flirtier and flirtier and FLIRTIER until we were practically having phone sex. Then I said, "hey, why don't I come up for a visit? We could hang out and see where it goes." So I flew up there, and we were REALLY anticipating being together, because we'd been hot for each other for 18 months, but you know, things had been in the way. That first weekend with her was off the charts. We were very volatile together, though. I got tired of her running away in fear and then wanting to come back just when I had gven up on her and something else was getting promising.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2020, 01:24:54 AM by Sweetums »



_priapism

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Reply #5 on: December 06, 2020, 03:44:47 AM
Yes.  I’ve done these, and a few others.  Public sex, elevator sex, sex at the office, role reversal sex, sex in the same room as her parents, mile high club sex, I hate you sex, sex while driving, hospital room sex, sex at school, sex in public restroom, sex on video broadcast...



Offline MintJulie

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Reply #6 on: December 06, 2020, 05:03:40 AM
Yes.  I’ve done these, and a few others.  Public sex, elevator sex, sex at the office, role reversal sex, sex in the same room as her parents, mile high club sex, I hate you sex, sex while driving, hospital room sex, sex at school, sex in public restroom, sex on video broadcast...

Seems like you've got EVERYTHING covered.   Wait, you can't have done everything people throw at you.   What about....

Sex with a short person?

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_priapism

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Reply #7 on: December 06, 2020, 05:18:07 AM
Yes.  I’ve done these, and a few others.  Public sex, elevator sex, sex at the office, role reversal sex, sex in the same room as her parents, mile high club sex, I hate you sex, sex while driving, hospital room sex, sex at school, sex in public restroom, sex on video broadcast...

Seems like you've got EVERYTHING covered.   Wait, you can't have done everything people throw at you.   What about....

Sex with a short person?




Offline MissBarbara

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Reply #8 on: December 06, 2020, 05:11:12 PM

Sex with a short person?


I am very short (no more than 5'). For several years I was in a relationship with someone who was at least 5'10"). When we slow danced, she would rest her chin on the top of my head.

It requires extra geometry skills, but it's doable.






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Reply #9 on: December 06, 2020, 05:19:12 PM
Shaq still has us beat... wonder if she had a coaster on her head for his beer...




Offline Shiela_M

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Reply #10 on: December 06, 2020, 07:01:44 PM
1. Awkward Sex:  yes, my first time was rather awkward.  He wanted to be spontaneous and adventurous but small town people don’t really have a lot of adventure spots, so the dugout of a baseball field it was.  He was trying to be a stud, I was trying to be sexy, in the end it was just two buffoons learning.

2. First Time You Knew What You Were Doing:  absolutely.  His mother had left, knowing his dad would still be there, but his dad went outside to cut the lawn and we knew we could get some sexy time in before he was done, but had to hurry in case he decided to come back inside.  Ran to his room and only removed our pants.  I was on top because that how he liked it.  I was moving thrusting my hips and flexing my legs to get as much motion into is as I could.  He lasted maybe about a minute before pushing me off and finishing into a tshirt.  I felt like a pornstar.

3. Zero-Inhibitions Sex:  absolutely, but you don’t get to hear this one.

4. Make-Up Sex That is Worth the Fight:  never, I’ve had fantastic makeup sex, but I don’t ever think it is worth the fight.  Maybe rephrase it to “make-up sex so good you forgot what the fight was about"  then yes

5. Sex So Good You Accidentally Break Things:  nope, I can’t recall ever breaking anything.  Knocking stuff over, or pushing things off surfaces, but I don’t think anything ever broke.  If something did, it wasn’t mine, and I never found out about it.

6. Morning Sex That Makes You Late for Work:  nope again.  I show up for work about an hour early.  I have a routine.  If I do have sex in the morning (after my first bit of coffee of course) things usually get wrapped up with plenty of time for me to get there.  I have however had sex so good that I ended up calling in sick…

7. OMG-I-Can't-Believe-I-Did-That Sex:  see question 3

8. The Never-Again Position:  I do not care if you’re the biggest fake wrestling fan in the world.  I will protest even the slightest variation of a full neslon, or even an half nelson.  Breathing is something I consider very important.

9. Super-Loud Piss-Off-Your-Neighbors Sex:  Absolutely,  in fact, it happened just a few months ago, cant remember exactly when, but I do remember posting about it in the “who got laid" thread.  Said, The neighbors definitely know his name, or something like that.  Standing with him behind me, hands on my shoulders… hard and fast.

10. Goodbye Sex:  yes, in the back of his car in the airport parking lot just before I flew off to basic training.

11. Sex With the BEST Possible Soundtrack:  time and time again.  Music in the background always makes it better.  It helps dictate how things flow.  Quite a few times I find myself trying to dance with the action that’s happening.

12. The One Where Your Partner Does All the Work:  Yes.  He sat back and told me he wanted service.  All he did was talk, tell me what and how.  This one used to happen a lot.

13. So-In-Love-It's-Stupid Sex: yes, that slow deep passion where I don’t even care if I have my orgasm, the entire time is mind blowing and filled with emotion.  And even though I may not care if I do finish, I always did.



Offline Sweetums

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Reply #11 on: December 11, 2020, 01:58:16 AM
Yes.  I’ve done these, and a few others.  Public sex, elevator sex, sex at the office, role reversal sex, sex in the same room as her parents, mile high club sex, I hate you sex, sex while driving, hospital room sex, sex at school, sex in public restroom, sex on video broadcast...

Great new categories! Allow me to propose:

14. Public Sex

15. Elevator Sex.

16. Sex at the Office.

17. Role Reversal Sex.

18. Sex In The Same Room As Her Parents.

19. Mile High Club Sex.

20. I Hate You Sex.

21. Sex While Driving.

22. Hospital Room Sex.

23. Sex at School.

24. Sex in a Public Restroom.

25. Sex on a Video Broadcast.


Offline Sweetums

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Reply #12 on: December 11, 2020, 02:03:10 AM

Sex with a short person?


I am very short (no more than 5'). For several years I was in a relationship with someone who was at least 5'10"). When we slow danced, she would rest her chin on the top of my head.

It requires extra geometry skills, but it's doable.






Mrs. Sweetums is 5'2" and I am 6'4"

We don't see eye to eye.

My shortest is 4'9". Jewish. Very sweet. Came constantly.

Fun fact: if there's more than 8" of height difference between you, you can't kiss body-to-body standing up. I had to change the height of one of my characters in one of my stories because I had them kissing while he was fucking her and she was sitting on the edge of a desk.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 03:46:35 AM by Sweetums »



Offline Sweetums

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Reply #13 on: December 11, 2020, 02:39:38 AM
Okay, my bonus round:

14. Public Sex. YES. If you interpret this as "Have I had penetrative sex that was seen and intended to be seen by a stranger?" The answer to that is no. Otherwise yes. Burning Man. In the woods. Lots of public places in cars that could be seen into. Somebody opens the door. Also, lots of sex that was overheard by lots of others, but not seen.

15. Elevator Sex. NO. Yikes, no. Seems like you would have to a) Hit the emergency stop and piss off everybody in the building, and b) Be lucky the firemen did not get to you swiftly. Unless you were just about ready to pop before you got into the elevator. Then, maybe not so bad. Lots of planning and fluffing would be involved, I would think. And then it would be for bragging rights, not romance, and I only do sex for romance.

16. Sex at the Office. YES. Hell yes. Small businesses, though, after hours when there was no chance a random employee would show up. That's not anywhere near the difficulty of having sex in a crowded area of an operating business.

17. Role Reversal Sex. NO. I have dressed up as a woman for theater pieces and such. Lots of hilarity. No sex that I recall.

18. Sex In The Same Room As Her Parents. YES. We were interrupted by her dad once, but that's not really the difficulty implied here. Her parents standing there beaming while I openly fuck their daughter, that would be some fucked up shit. "Look honey, she's orgasming again! Claim it sweetie!" "Quiet down now, Martha, and don't disturb them. I think he's getting close."

19. Mile High Club Sex. NO. Not intercourse. Fingered her to orgasm, sure.

20. I Hate You Sex. YES. With the wives. If my head gets twisted on wrong, I can get passive agressive.

21. Sex While Driving. YES. I'm going to say "yes" here under the assumption that we're not talking about intercourse while the car is in motion, in which case OMFG get off the road. Fucking by the side of the road, sure. On the margin of a crowded highway in potential plain view of passing cars. In the front seat of a sedan, which is a trick for me. Many orgasms fingering many women (one at a time, mind you) while driving. I am a serial fingerer only. So far. And for safety, only one lady in the passenger seat.

22. Hospital Room Sex. NO. Which is good news. I haven't seen very much of the insides of hospitals nor have my loved ones.

23. Sex at School. NO. Well, we'd have to be talking about college, trade school, that kind of thing, because we must keep the personal stories 18+, people. In that case, no. :-)

24. Sex in a Public Restroom. NO. She would have to come into the Men's because I am too much of a gentleman to invade the Ladies'. Never dated anyone that venturesome for long enough to try that.

25. Sex on a Video Broadcast. NO. Not sure I could even. I hear it's new levels of hard to perform in front of a camera. I believe it.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2020, 03:37:05 AM by Sweetums »



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Reply #14 on: December 11, 2020, 03:00:38 AM

18. Sex In The Same Room As Her Parents.



18. Sex In The Same Room As Her/His Parents.

Fixed it for you.



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Reply #15 on: December 11, 2020, 03:19:41 AM
Okay, so my bonus round, only 14 and sort of 18 are me. And sort-of-18 is how I lost my virginity (her family were coming in and out as we were doing it). 14...the groundskeeper kept walking past us, so it became a no after a while.

And if I had done 23, I would've been fired and imprisoned!

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Reply #16 on: December 31, 2020, 06:23:41 PM

1. Awkward Sex- Of course. First few times comes to mind.

2. First Time You Knew What You Were Doing- Yes, but took a few tries to get there.

3. Zero-Inhibitions Sex- Yes, thank you alcohol.

4. Make-Up Sex That is Worth the Fight- Not often but yes.

5. Sex So Good You Accidentally Break Things- Yes. Broke a bed once. In my defense, it was an old bed.

6. Morning Sex That Makes You Late for Work- I’ve made someone else late, does that count?

7. OMG-I-Can't-Believe-I-Did-That Sex- Yes, see also: thank you, alcohol.

8. The Never-Again Position- tried the wheelbarrow once. Not worth the trouble or effort.

9. Super-Loud Piss-Off-Your-Neighbors Sex- ha. Once in a hotel. The neighbors pissed us off first so we tried to return the favor. I think they got the message.

10. Goodbye Sex- of course.

11. Sex With the BEST Possible Soundtrack- not really my thing, but I’ve had women put on certain songs to set the mood. As a joke I’ve played Cadillac Pussy more than once.

12. The One Where Your Partner Does All the Work- Yes. In college one of my gf’s would wake me up at crazy hours when I was dead asleep (at like 2 am). She’d be on top of me going to town before I ever fully realized what was going on. I’d usually just lay there and enjoy then go back to sleep.

13. So-In-Love-It's-Stupid Sex- Yes. Hope everyone gets to experience this.

Bonus Round (much thanks to Toe)

14. Public Sex- Yes. Several places, mostly in younger days.

15. Elevator Sex- no, but now I want to.

16. Sex at the Office.- Yes.

17. Role Reversal Sex.- No.

18. Sex In The Same Room As Her Parents.- Yes. On vacation we were in the same bedroom. That didn’t stop my horny ass. We just had to do it quietly.

19. Mile High Club Sex- No, but it’s in my to do list if I can make it work.

20. I Hate You Sex.- Not really.

21. Sex While Driving- Oral count? If so, put me down for a yes. .

22. Hospital Room Sex.- No.

23. Sex at School.- Not in a school, no. School grounds? Yes (at night).

24. Sex in a Public Restroom.- Yes, a state park bathroom/shower.

25. Sex on a Video Broadcast.- Yes.



Offline MintJulie

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Reply #17 on: January 02, 2021, 01:07:31 AM
Bonus Round

14. Public Sex. Yes  A few different.

15. Elevator Sex. No  Never even crossed my mind.

16. Sex at the Office. Yes  And got caught!  Got the lock fixed on the door the next day.

17. Role Reversal Sex. No

18. Sex In The Same Room As His/Her Parents. No

19. Mile High Club Sex. No Maybe when I win the lotto in my jet.

20. I Hate You Sex. No 

21. Sex While Driving. Yes  BJ

22. Hospital Room Sex. No  Hospitals=Germs!

23. Sex at School. No  Well, in College, but not HS.  I was a good girl.

24. Sex in a Public Restroom. No  Eww.

25. Sex on a Video Broadcast. No 

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Reply #18 on: January 02, 2021, 06:16:16 PM
Bonus Round.  Yes to everything (man whore than I am), except #22, sex in a hospital.  Every time I have been it was either her having a baby (definitely a mood killer), or me having a heart attack (ditto).  Although I have had a few sponge baths that could have been a “happy ending” with a little more stimulation.  I was very popular in Ft. Lauderdale.  Seemed there were several nurses who insisted on fondling me, for no apparent medical reasons.



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Reply #19 on: January 02, 2021, 08:54:33 PM
Bonus Round

14. Public Sex. Yes quite a bit actually.

15. Elevator Sex.  Stuck my hand down his pants once, otherwise No 

16. Sex at the Office. nope

17. Role Reversal Sex. Nope

18. Sex In The Same Room As His/Her Parents. yes but it was his dad I was hooking up with while he played games.  His mother kept coming into the room seeing if anybody wanted a coke and smile... JK.  no  I'm not quiet

19. Mile High Club Sex. No planes are uncomfortable as is, those bathrooms are tiny, and, again, I am not quiet...

20. I Hate You Sex. yes  not by choice though, only hate could feel like that... got a little dark in here didn't it?  No worries, I'm ok. :emot_kiss:

21. Sex While Driving. yes  I'm always game for a little road head, or hand play, especially if it helps keep him awake.

22. Hospital Room Sex. Nope, never hate hospitals.

23. Sex at School. yes lost my virginity on the HS baseball field.  Also scheduled time to meet up and have sex in a bathroom during class.  A few times.

24. Sex in a Public Restroom. In korea, the local clubs outside of the camps, have co-ed bathrooms. I was next to a urinal waiting on a stall to open up, a guy came in and used it. When he was done, he asked politely for me to shake it for him.  I did, but very well, but I still did.  Closest I've come to this one.

25. Sex on a Video Broadcast. No