KRISTEN'S BOARD
Congratulations to 2024 Pervert of the Year Shiela_M and 2024 Author of the Year Writers Bloque!

News:

Wife Charged with Murder, Parrot Possible Star Witness

watcher1 · 514

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline watcher1

  • POY 2010
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,989
    • Woos/Boos: +1721/-57
    • Gender: Male
  • Gentleman Pervert
on: January 08, 2017, 04:00:10 PM

It's a case that could come down to what the bird heard, as a Michigan prosecutor decides if a parrot can be used as some type of witness in a murder case.
 
Family members believe an African grey parrot named "Bud" may have witnessed the fatal shooting of his owner.

Martin Duram, 45, was shot and killed in his Michigan home in May 2015 in what police first thought was a double homicide. Duram's wife, Glenna, had also been shot, in the head, but police realized an hour later she was still alive.

But last week, Glenna was charged with first-degree murder in connection with her husband's death.

In a video taken several weeks after the murder, the couple's African grey parrot named "Bud," who is now being cared for by family members, can be heard saying, "Don't f—ing shoot." The bird, family members say, can be heard mimicking both Martin and Glenna as if they were arguing.

"I personally think he was there, and he remembers it and he was saying it," Duram's father, Charles Duram, told woodTV.

Police records detail financial and gambling problems in the couple's marriage, and Michigan police say Glenna left several suicide notes. Glenna later denied doing so in an interview with detectives, although handwriting analysis matched her handwriting to that in notes, the station reported.

Glenna Duram is being held in Newaygo County Jail without bond

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.


KitKat

  • Guest
Reply #1 on: January 08, 2017, 05:25:06 PM
Wow!  :o



Offline herschel

  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,702
    • Woos/Boos: +222/-1
Reply #2 on: January 08, 2017, 05:59:44 PM
Judge: Call your next witness.
Prosecutor: I call Bud Parrot.
Bailiff escorts Bud to the witness stand.
Bailiff: Raise your right wing.
Bud does so.
Bailiff: Do you swear...etc.
Bud: You're goddam right I swear.
Judge: State your full name for the record.
Bud: Bud Fucking Parrot
Judge (to Prosecutor): You may proceed.
Prosecutor (to Bud): Where were you at the time the defendant shot her husband?
Bud: On my perch.
Prosecutor: And where was your perch?
Bud: In the family room.
Prosecutor: And what was the address of the house in which the family room was situated?
Bud: 1776 Constitution Avenue, Racine, Wisconsin
Prosecutor: And who else was there at the time?
Bud: The dead guy and the defendant.
Prosecutor: And in your own words, please tell the court what you saw.
Bud: I couldn't see anything, because the defendant put the cover over my cage.
Prosecutor: I see. Well then, what did you hear?
Bud: I heard the dead guy say 'Don't f--ing shoot.' Then I heard a shot, and the sound of a body falling to the floor.
Prosecutor: Anything else?
Bud: Then I heard another shot, and another body slumping to the floor.
Prosecutor: And then?
Bud: After a while I heard people come in.
Prosecutor: And who were these people?
Bud: I think they must have been cops.
Prosecutor: And did you speak with them?
Bud: I told them 'Don't f--ing shoot.'
Prosecutor: I have no further questions, your honor.
Judge (to defense counsel): Does the defense wish to question the witness?
Defense counsel: Yes, your honor. (to Bud): Do you know who shot Martin Duram?
Bud: No.
Defense counsel: Let me repeat the question: Do you know who shot your owner, Martin Duram?
Bud: No, I do fucking not.
Defense counsel: Thank you. No further questions, your honor.
Judge: The witness may step down.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2017, 06:02:06 PM by herschel »



Offline Fish

  • Stranger Than Fiction
  • Freakishly Strange
  • ******
    • Posts: 1,870
    • Woos/Boos: +260/-2
    • Gender: Male
  • A taste is a waste of time.
Reply #3 on: January 08, 2017, 06:06:50 PM
The local morning DJ's in my area had a hilarious bit where the parrot called in and made jokes about the couple... I was almost crying with laughter on the way to work.

Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff.


Offline watcher1

  • POY 2010
  • Burnt at the stake
  • *******
    • Posts: 16,989
    • Woos/Boos: +1721/-57
    • Gender: Male
  • Gentleman Pervert
Reply #4 on: January 08, 2017, 09:51:41 PM
WOO to Herschel. Fun parody.

Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.


KitKat

  • Guest
Reply #5 on: January 08, 2017, 10:09:44 PM
Judge: Call your next witness.
Prosecutor: I call Bud Parrot.
Bailiff escorts Bud to the witness stand.
Bailiff: Raise your right wing.
Bud does so.
Bailiff: Do you swear...etc.
Bud: You're goddam right I swear.
Judge: State your full name for the record.
Bud: Bud Fucking Parrot
Judge (to Prosecutor): You may proceed.
Prosecutor (to Bud): Where were you at the time the defendant shot her husband?
Bud: On my perch.
Prosecutor: And where was your perch?
Bud: In the family room.
Prosecutor: And what was the address of the house in which the family room was situated?
Bud: 1776 Constitution Avenue, Racine, Wisconsin
Prosecutor: And who else was there at the time?
Bud: The dead guy and the defendant.
Prosecutor: And in your own words, please tell the court what you saw.
Bud: I couldn't see anything, because the defendant put the cover over my cage.
Prosecutor: I see. Well then, what did you hear?
Bud: I heard the dead guy say 'Don't f--ing shoot.' Then I heard a shot, and the sound of a body falling to the floor.
Prosecutor: Anything else?
Bud: Then I heard another shot, and another body slumping to the floor.
Prosecutor: And then?
Bud: After a while I heard people come in.
Prosecutor: And who were these people?
Bud: I think they must have been cops.
Prosecutor: And did you speak with them?
Bud: I told them 'Don't f--ing shoot.'
Prosecutor: I have no further questions, your honor.
Judge (to defense counsel): Does the defense wish to question the witness?
Defense counsel: Yes, your honor. (to Bud): Do you know who shot Martin Duram?
Bud: No.
Defense counsel: Let me repeat the question: Do you know who shot your owner, Martin Duram?
Bud: No, I do fucking not.
Defense counsel: Thank you. No further questions, your honor.
Judge: The witness may step down.


 :emot_laughing: