Have you ever been so whipped...

[seveninchblues]

Just to share, my wife and I, after thirty-one years of marriage, enjoy many of the same things.  We have a common love for a few bands and, sharing a taste for many of the same kinds of music makes it easy for us to listen to the same things.  It's not just about music.  It's everything.  I never had to change myself a bit for my wife to fall in love with me.  Nor did she have to change for me.

The point of my thread to begin with had nothing to do with married couples or even people in love, per se.  It had to do with changing who you are and what you like because you think it will make them like you.  I've known people who have lived that way and made the  same mistake time and time again.  Particularly a couple of friends of mine who today are a couple of spineless drones without voice or spirit.

[Jed_]

I’ve largely kept out of deciding what music is played at my wedding.  I participate to the extend she doesn’t feel like I don’t care.  I admittedly don’t care very much, except I want her to be happy.  She wants to do a mix of fast and slow songs for our first dance as husband and wife, playing them on her phone last night.  I dutifully listened and stated when I didn’t like the selection, which was about 70% of them.

That's different: It's HER wedding, not yours. You're only there to look handsome and smile for the photographer.

Well yeah, that and pay for everything.

Speaking of photography, we did a little session with them on Saturday.  Getting ready to go, my truck door tried to shut on me as I was putting stuff in the back seat.  I swung my arm rapidly back to catch the door and promptly pinched something in my back.  At the photography session, they asked me to pick her up and swing her around about 3 times saying we would repeat that in her wedding dress and merge the vids.  I got her around about one 360, let out a yelp and nearly dropped her.  At least now two days later my back is better.

[MissBarbara]

The point of my thread to begin with had nothing to do with married couples or even people in love, per se.  It had to do with changing who you are and what you like because you think it will make them like you.  I've known people who have lived that way and made the  same mistake time and time again.  Particularly a couple of friends of mine who today are a couple of spineless drones without voice or spirit.

Well, please don't judge all people by the exerpiences of "a couple of friends."

At the same time -- and perhaps I'm missing your point -- I don't feel there's anything even slightly amiss with going above and beyond when you're beginning a relationship, going on a first date, or otherwise "pursuing" a potential romantic partner. Things like spending extra time and care with your hair and makeup (or, in my case, actually wearing makeup), selecting outfits with care, or even purchasing new clothes, buying obscenely expensive lingerie or swimsuits, and even moderating your opinions, at least initially.

Yes, that's "pretending," and yes, that's not "really me." But so what? You're not changing yourself, you're simply putting your best foot forward. And, again, there's nothing wrong with that.

[Athos_131]

At the same time -- and perhaps I'm missing your point -- I don't feel there's anything even slightly amiss with going above and beyond when you're beginning a relationship, going on a first date, or otherwise "pursuing" a potential romantic partner. Things like spending extra time and care with your hair and makeup (or, in my case, actually wearing makeup), selecting outfits with care, or even purchasing new clothes, buying obscenely expensive lingerie or swimsuits, and even moderating your opinions, at least initially.

Yes, that's "pretending," and yes, that's not "really me." But so what? You're not changing yourself, you're simply putting your best foot forward. And, again, there's nothing wrong with that.

You don't go to a job interview unwashed, wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, dirty jeans and flip flops.

#Resist

[MissBarbara]

At the same time -- and perhaps I'm missing your point -- I don't feel there's anything even slightly amiss with going above and beyond when you're beginning a relationship, going on a first date, or otherwise "pursuing" a potential romantic partner. Things like spending extra time and care with your hair and makeup (or, in my case, actually wearing makeup), selecting outfits with care, or even purchasing new clothes, buying obscenely expensive lingerie or swimsuits, and even moderating your opinions, at least initially.

Yes, that's "pretending," and yes, that's not "really me." But so what? You're not changing yourself, you're simply putting your best foot forward. And, again, there's nothing wrong with that.

You don't go to a job interview unwashed, wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, dirty jeans and flip flops.

#Resist

That's a perfect analogy. Thanks.

[IdleBoast]

It seems weird to me why being exposed to something your significant other has an interest in -and possibly enjoying it!- is a bad thing.

#Reisst

My wife an I have complementary interests - just yesterday, we spend time wandering around interior design stores. She was browing fabrics and thinking "living room", but I was taking close-up photos to inform a future project...

[Athos_131]

#Resist

[_priapism]

Truth. 

[seveninchblues]

Truth. 

Very good.

But once I get the ass, I ain't pretending anymore... right?