Which parent don't you get along with?

[None]

I've noticed what appears to be a commonality between a lot of us that post here. It seems that several of us don't (or didn't) have a good relationship with one or more of our parents. It got me to thinking, I wonder if there is a trend for people that have relationship issues with their parents to be more likely to have non-vanilla sexual tendencies. I'm not sure if that's a fair correlation, but it's an idea that popped into my head that made me curious.

So, I'll kick it off. I have never gotten along with my dad. The couple years before my mom passed I didn't talk much to her either, although I think she was having some cognitive issues that drove quite a bit of that. I definitely had (have) a bit of an oedipus complex. So, in my case I'm picking just my dad.

You are welcome to just vote on the poll if you prefer or share your family dynamics and experiences if you like.

[Piper-Dreams]

Neither really.

[ChirpingGirl]

I'm afraid I'd get bitched at for fully discussing this topic. 

[JBRG]

I get along well enough with both of my parents although I haven't seen my father in 6 or 7 years. My family isn't the tight, close knit type. I see my mother a couple, maybe three, times a year. And even though my three brothers live within 2 hours of me, I seldom see them.

I joined the military just before I turned 18. They stayed in the area that I grew up. For 18 years, I was away from all of them and never developed the type of adult relationship with them that others have.

We all get along fine. We just have our own lives to live.

[RopeFiend]

Dad was an alcoholic... he'd nail a six-pack of 16oz Schlitz Malt every evening, twice that on weekends.  It eventually killed him.  He was... ok with only one or two, but he got mean with more (not abusive, though).  On the rare occasion when he was sober he was actually a happy guy.

I tried drinking 12 of 'em one time to see what the deal was and damned near died.  I've been pretty much a teetotaler since then, as has my youngest brother.  The middle one takes after Dad, so I don't get along well with him, either.

[ChirpingGirl]

This just got me pissed so I guess I'll go ahead and discuss it.

My dad. I'd go as far as to say I hate him. He was never evil or anything. Let's just say I was a certain kind of toy to him and not worth much else. He can't keep his dick in his pants and is the most immature male I've ever known. He doesn't even know my birthday, and has seen my kids maybe a couple times. The only thing I liked about him... was I never needed a pitiful allowance. He did pay very well. If I never spoke to him again I wouldn't mind.

My mom got drunk and he got very lucky. He never deserved to touch my goddess mommy.

[MintJulie]

My mom.   

I never measured up to my sister.   She didn't have to say it, it's how it always has been.     

I quit college, and she says I was an embarrassment to my friends.  I joined the army, that too was an embarrassment.    I received an honorable discharge and that too embarrassed her, but she still to this day doesn't know why I left the army.     Let's see, my fiancee cheated on me, somehow in her twisted mind she found a way to blame me.    Because of that, I didn't really trust most of the guys I dated, "I'm too picky."     Now, I'm seeing a girl.   So, I've embarrassed her once again.  "Whatever shall I tell our friends."    I will give my mom a bit of credit, she has accepted her a bit in the last two months.   

I can't do anything right in her eyes.   I stopped trying years ago.   

The funny thing is, when my sister passed away 2 years ago, I actually HOPED mom and I would become closer.    Nope.     

But I have got my daddy, so I'm good.

[Bexy]

I've noticed what appears to be a commonality between a lot of us that post here. It seems that several of us don't (or didn't) have a good relationship with one or more of our parents.

You know, I think you just described 99% of the people on the planet. LOL

I think everybody has at least one parent they don't get along with well, that's just life, although of course there are 'levels' of not getting along. There's quite the difference between 'we bicker a lot' and 'she drank and used to beat me'.

[None]

Well, I suppose that's very true, Bexy.

In my case my father could be very verbally and emotionally abusive. In addition, he was physically abusive with my mother. It's tough when you see that happen because you become very afraid of this tower of a man. The result was it caused me to say whatever I thought he wanted mto hear rather than what I should have. That got me in a lot of trouble too. Perhaps worse than had I been truthful. I'm not certain. He also couldn't let go of the past. He would constantly bring up things that happened decades previously,  including from before I was born.

I'll never forget the day it all came to a head. It's the day I consider to be the point where I became a man in my own right. I hadn't seen my father in a number of years. As I was walking into the bank he was walking out. He sorta cornered me because he wanted to talk. Per his usual he rolls into all the disappointments from the last 30+ years. I said to him, "Dad, I don't want to hear it anymore." He replied, "Don't call me dad." I sharpy snapped back, "Alright asshole." I think he was surprised but not as much as I was! He raised his fist as if to take a swing. I squared off with him and was prepared to go the full 10 rounds. He backed off and walked away. I did it! I stood up to the giant and prepared for battle only to find out he was just a man like any other. When I came out of the bank he was leaning against my truck door. He did admit he shouldn't have said what he did. We talked for a short while about general non-conflict related things. I've talked to him on one other occasion over the last 20 years. Sometimes I think I should go visit the old man because his days or getting very few. So far the urge hasn't been great enough to do so. I am fully aware that the day is coming sooner than later that I won't get to make that decision.

Oops, this seems to have gotten a bit long peeps. It wasn't my intention to write War and Peace.

[Elizabeth]

My Dad was a US Marine Officer, he was gone lots of the time.
But I always got along with him and my mom. When my Dad retired and we finally started a horse farm (then split it into two farms, mine being one and parents having the other), things were great with us. My mom was one of those people who could wear her daughter's clothing (and look good in it I might add). dad was hard working and always thought his daughter was a "tomboy". We have a very close family and I'm thankful for it. However there was one instance when I was younger that I didn't know how to tell my Dad something (actually I was scared), it was when I decided to tell my mom that I was a Lesbian (she had already guessed it and wasn't surprised at all), but I didn't have the courage to tell my dad, so Mom took charge (while I hid out in my room). Dad came back to my room a little while latter and softly told me that he loved me and said "Don't worry little girl, I knew a long time ago what you just told your mom". I cried, I'm not sure why, but I cried.

Love,
Liz

[None]

I cried, I'm not sure why, but I cried.

Because your dad, and your mom for that matter, knew who you were as a person and accepted you. Also, at that moment you realized that he loved you unconditionally. As a result, it relieved your fear. I'm no professional therapist or anything, but that's my take on it.

[GEMINIGUY]

My father was always abusive. He didn't drink or anything, he just had that mean Irish temper.
He beat me as a kid, but switched to verbal abuse when I got bigger than him. His words hurt more.
After my father passed away, my mother started taking on his bad traits slowly. She doesn't have his temper and  never gets as loud as he did, but she has a way with words my father did. She still not as bad as my father ever was.

[Katiebee]

Then I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a great relationship with my mom and my dad. I'm closer to my dad, though that doesn't detract from my relationship with my mom. Just different.

[Dav3e]

I have a more of a crazy old pothead that I couldn't get rid of it I had to then a mom.

My dad walked out before I was born and aside from seeing him 3or 4 time around when I was 12 because he wanted to know what he was paying for when she finally asked for child support. After age 12 it's been.....31 teardown and I don't want to talk to him because I don't want my life scrutinized by an utter stranger. He hasn't bothered to try calling me so fuck him.

My first step dad was an ass but to his credit having been through the abuse tri-fecta he was decent. He was also WAY closer to my age then my moms so a kid raising a kid so to say.
Step dad 2 was starting to get verbal with my mom. I visited for dinner once(only once) and he lost his shit at the dinner table. I calmly went to my car, brought in a copy of Suicide Kings and sat it on the table in front of him. I said If I have to come back I will bring my own toaster. He called the next day and apologized. We never spoke again and my mom left him a month later not because of any other abuse.

She dated one other guy a year younger then me. He pushed her down once. I told him to pick a good suit to slit up the back for when I put his ass in a box if he thought about my mom wrong. She also told him about the toaster thing when he daughter my promise and he layed off. She lived like shit when she was with him so she moved in with the grands to care-take and start over.

[Well Behaved Lady]

I'm one of the lucky ones. I get along well with my Dad. Mum passed away 18 years ago. My relationship with her was fantastic.

[Bexy]

My dad was an alcoholic tyrant and mom was a supplicating doormat. Haven't seen my dad since the funeral of my brother which is 11 years ago. My mother is very solopsistic, I spent my teenage years frustrated trying to explain my differing POVs to her, to no avail. In my twenties I learnt to just to either ignore the stupidities she says or change the subject to the weather or stuff the kids need, She's not a bad person, I've come to accept she did the best she could with the dysfunctional upbringing she had herself...but more than 24 hours with her is a challenge to say the least.

[MissBarbara]

I'm one of the lucky ones. I get along well with my Dad. Mum passed away 18 years ago. My relationship with her was fantastic.

I've long considered myself very strange in relation to my friends and colleagues (and, it seems, people on KB), because I've always gotten along well with both my parents. It hasn't been all sunshine and roses, of course, and my relationship with my mother vs. my father is very different, for obvious reasons, but all things considered we always have and continue to get along and have a loving relationship.




fixed your 'quote'