Sexless marriage

[PaulBruce]

I am 62 year old horny guy but wife is not into sex anymore, at all. This is puzzling because in 30 years of marriage, she only failed to get off a handful of times. It seems she would want the good feeling.

[watcher1]

Welcome to KB, PB. And a WOO for your first post.

You have just joined the thousands, if not millions of horny men whose wives have put sex on the back burner. For women, physical sex is just one part of a marriage. They look at sex as the culmination of certain issues that are important to them, whereas most men put sex as the main issue with them. Some issues could be physical, but emotional issues play a very important part. Have you talked about this issue with your wife?  You have to have an open discussion in order to find out why she is not into sex anymore.

[PaulBruce]

Yes I have tried.

[PaulBruce]

I would love to find an older woman who is also in a sexless marriage.

[watcher1]

Older, mature women are sexy. 

[purpleshoes]

I read somewhere that women need a reason to have sex, but men just need a place. From my own experience I'd guess that for women, sex is at least as much about emotions as it is the physical act itself.

Of course that is a huge generalization, but from my perspective it's true more often than not.

[_priapism]

I’ve been married four times.  Women either want it, or they don’t.  If they are in the don’t want it category, all the chocolate, flowers, and massages in the world are not going to make a difference.

Suggestion.  Try to think about the last time she was a little slut slut for you.  Then when you are cuddling, not distracted, and have some privacy, say... “remember that time we were in Miami.  I was thinking about that the other day... I felt just like a young man again, when I’d wake up with a piss hardon, and have to go to the bathroom to masturbate... I was very naughty back then... always thinking about what it would be like to sleep with a sexy woman... like you...”

I talk a lot in bed.  My wife loves it.  My last ex hated it, and said, “Nobody wants to hear your perverted stories...” So go figure.

[JBRG]

Due to age and the hormonal changes that come with it, sex for my wife had become uncomfortable and some times painful. So, being the loving, caring, yet still horny guy that I am, I essentially told her that I wasn’t going to ask nor expect sex any more. If she was interested, she would have to make the first move. Now, I get laid about once a month or once every six weeks.

You cannot convince your wife to make love more often. However, PB, you should have the frank discussion about why she is no longer interested. It will help your understanding and show her that you still love her.

[Priapus]

Hi Paul,

I am much younger than you are. My wife has never really been into sex. She is willing to please but you can tell that her motivation is lacking.

As she's getting older, and entering menopause, I am expecting the situation to get worse.

She's bothered by this because she knows how strong my sex drive is. The thought that I might start looking elsewhere (or worse, leave her) is terrifying her.

I wonder what is it that we can do.

[staci]

You give her support and dispel her fears. You married each other for better or worse.

[Priapus]

Hi Staci,

That's precisely what I'm trying to do but I'm beginning to run out of ideas. She simply does not believe me.

Talking to her isn't easy.

[Colin Piper]

Welcome to the site.

I would love to find an older woman who is also in a sexless marriage.

Welcome to the club.

[ozjohn39]

Agree with watcher1.

Just about every married man over the age of 55 is confronted with the effects of menopause on a married couple.  Not the fault of anyone but we are left with one main alternative to satify our sexual urges, our right hand.
27 years since I had a fuck!

[TheAlien]

This is what prostitutes are for - just be discreet

Do you know  the percentage of clients  therapists have?

female 80% +

the reason , someone who will listen

if you want your wife to  want to have sex with you "LISTEN to  her" , she will  mount you!

if you listen attentively and she still won't -> see a hooker

[Bittersweet]

Good luck is the biggest discrepancy between the wife and I. I need it frequently or I get miserable and she hates that fact.. she doesn't want it very often. Which the worst part is in the first 2 years we were together I guarantee we had done it 2000 times.. Now I'm lucky if its 3x a week.