Bad Amour Fou - (MF, cheat)

[thedarkmessiah]

Bare with me, this is no short story!




Bad Amour Fou


Lauren was in James’ flat, inside his bedroom. He was kissing her. She was kissing him. He had his arms around her and she was squeezed up against him.

The towel which he’d come out of the bathroom wearing – just the towel – was on the floor at their almost intertwined feet. Half her clothes had joined it. The rest of her clothes were about to. Behind her was his bed.

It was on that bed where they were soon to be fucking.

If anyone had told Lauren a few hours ago she’d be here, doing this, about to do what she was, she would have laughed in their face. She would have mocked whomever would have uttered such a stupid notion. That wasn’t her! But… it was her. She was doing this.

How had she got here and into this?

[thedarkmessiah]

Lauren is twenty-two. She’s a ginger, a redhead, complete with a million freckles on her face and arms. She hates the freckles like she hates her stupid looking calves and her skinny little backside. Reasonably tall and definitely thin, adorned with size 32B boobs, she does look good to plenty of guys though. She was aware that she attracted attention from guys because of how she looked, especially the strange ones who have a thing for girls with freckles. She’s quiet but it is a laid-back quiet, not a shy quiet, that is her nature. People say she’s friendly and outgoing. Lauren comes from a nice family, a nuclear one too, and she’s been educated. Not super-smart or book-smart, but with a brain in her head and she’s people-smart. She’s got a small yet tight group of very good friends and plenty of acquaintances because she can get on well with many people.

There’s a boyfriend too for Lauren: Alex, whom she’s been with for four years and lived with for the last two of them. Lauren loves Alex but Alex has a problem that is now their problem. He’s twenty-five and he can’t get it up. Well… he can for a few minutes and then it goes soft. The issue started on New Year’s Day, right out of the blue. It is causing countless strains for the two of them. Lauren spends a lot of time papering over the cracks that come from this problem. Everything else should work between them but he can’t maintain an erection and can’t give her what she needs in bed. They sleep in that bed but don’t have sex. It’s been four months and something since they last tried. She’d done everything she could think of to get his cock to stay hard, working her skinny arse off, but it shrinks almost on-cue. Lauren has told him it is all okay and it doesn’t matter but it really does. She feels inadequate for him, as if she isn’t enough to excite him anymore. His little problem, their problem, what he says he won’t try to do anything about, makes them both snappy at each other everywhere outside of bed. Lauren would do anything to make that problem go away but it won’t.

There was a work’s party. It was the end of November and this was the Christmas Do. Lauren was glad to be going. She was intending to enjoy herself and forget about Alex and his little problem for the night. An hour before she left the house, when getting out of the bath to start getting ready, he picked a fight with her. Lauren didn’t argue back. She went out mad, her night ruined before it began. Sometimes she really hated him. Her work bestie, Georgie, knew something was up as soon as Lauren arrived. Lauren had never told her what the issue was with her and Alex – how could she admit there was a problem that she herself blamed herself for? – and Georgie, because she was just great, never pushed. Her friend gave her a hug, a drink and stuck with her. The party filled up. Lauren started to have some fun. She was chatting away and quickly laughing. Most of these people here were good people! There was one she really didn’t like, Sonia who had been whispering to everyone before that Lauren had taken ‘her job’, one Lauren went for as a promotion and had no idea Sonia was after too, but Lauren dodged her. Lauren had a couple more drinks yet nothing strong. She kept her wits about her. There was no need for her to miss out on everything going on by getting drunk. Alex was texting her. He said he was sorry. She read that while sitting on the toilet having a wee and then replied telling him it was all okay. She went back to the party and checked her phone a little while later. There was another message. The bastard. He’d brought up the issue of her going out without him again all dressed up like she was. It was a work’s do with no guests because of the free bar. He knew that! And his rubbish about her being ‘tarted up’? If he’d seen some of the others her, that was tarted up! Her skirt was only just above her knees and her top showed only the smallest amount of cleavage.

Lauren went outside to call him. What she was going to say, she wasn’t sure but she refused to have an argument like this by text message. The party was upstairs at a bar in the private hire section. Lauren went to the balcony, where the smokers went but she could see no one was out there at the minute. Forcing a smile to Georgie on the way, she went outside. The phone came out of her bag and… she didn’t call Alex. In the few minutes which passed, the rage had gone. She decided to ignore him. He was a bastard for ruining her night and she wouldn’t forget that. The door opened. It was James who came out. She didn’t know he was here at the party. Why was he? Was it a month since he’d left for a new job, so how did he wangle an invite for this party? He was beside her as quick as a flash. James was all about the hellos and saying it was good to see her. Lauren said the same back. She meant it. It was good to see him here: they’d always been friendly even if that was in terms of not knowing each much. Asking if she was okay, James got even closer to her. Lauren stepped aside as she told him she was fine. You don’t look it, he said: you look like you’ve been crying. Nope, not at all. She hadn’t been crying and she was all okay. Lauren told him she was going back inside. They’d talk later, Lauren told him, and back into the party she went. James didn’t follow her. She watched him light a cigarette and follow her with his eyes as she went though. The white knight looking for someone to rescue was left behind her. He was like that, she’d heard: seeking out a girl to save. Harmless with it though but a bit relentless apparently with some of the others they’d both worked with. That was what people said though. It was the first time Lauren had seen it. As to her crying, she hadn’t been. She’d bloody felt like it yet no tears had fallen.

Back at the party, Lauren was with Georgie and her pal asked her if she’d seen James. She had, Lauren said, he was outside. Did he put the moves on you? That guy wants you in his bed, she added, like a fat kid wants cake! Lauren almost spat out her drink at that. Georgie found her reaction hilarious. She’d said before to Lauren, earlier in the year sometime, about James liking her. Acting innocent to the idea then, Lauren had posed the question back to Georgie that didn’t James like everyone? This time though she said nothing. She just gave Georgie a playful dig in the arm. Chloe and Libby came over. They were jabbering about something going on at the bar between two of the bosses pulling faces and doing accents – or something like that – and Lauren nodded along. Georgie was saying something about that and Lauren pretended to agree with a firm nod of her head. She couldn’t concentrate though. She was watching James. He was inside now.

Back when they’d started working together the other year, James had already been there when she arrived. Her mum was his boss – hers too in many ways – and Lauren quickly got to know James a lot of that because he was very friendly with her mum. Someone else, not Georgie or Chloe, maybe that girl Stacey who wasn’t there for long, had said to Lauren that James fancied her mum! Lauren had never seen that. She’d seen the way he was with the other twenty-something girls yet there hadn’t been any of that with her mum. He was a nice guy. There was nothing wrong with him. Georgie had once said about him that he wasn’t the boyfriend-type when they were talking to someone else – whomever that was – and Lauren had found that agreeable. He was just… nice. He hung around with the girls and with the lads too. Lauren was one of the few whom he hadn’t spent any time with in or out of work. How old was he? Lauren wasn’t sure. Close to thirty, older than Alex was. He wasn’t good looking, no hunk. Sometimes he was a bit scruffy too. He wasn’t tonight though. He’d smartened up a bit and, overall, looked better than she’d seen him before. Lauren’s brother Liam had too worked with her and her mum at the same place – there were a lot of families who did so – but not for long. In that time, Liam and James had got on well with her brother never saying anything bad about him.

There were more people to talk to. Lauren mingled about, passing from here to there. She and Georgie went and had a dance too. Lauren didn’t look at her phone. It was in her little handbag. Alex? She’d deal with him later. For now she was back having that good time she’d come here to have. James was on the dancefloor and he did what he always did. He made a twerp of himself with his dancing. Lauren laughed like they all did. He played right up to it for all those watching. Then he went off with Grace. Grace was another one working under Lauren’s mum and one of James’ closest work friends before he’d left. She was young, only eighteen. The rumour was that James had once rescued her – white knight in action – over something to do with a boy. Grace and James had always been hanging out together. Lauren had once thought they had a thing but that was later shown to be nothing beyond a puppy love / crush thing. They were talking now and Grace had an arm around him. They two of them walked off together away from the dancefloor. Grace was someone that Lauren liked well enough but they weren’t close. She wasn’t a Georgie, or a Chloe or Libby: Grace was just someone she got on with while not being buddy-buddy with. Grace was pretty too, stunning in fact. James had gone off with her with them talking between themselves. Lauren had to tell herself that the two of them being like that didn’t bother her. No, it didn’t make her in anyway jealous that James had now gone off with Grace. Why would it?

Sometime afterwards, Lauren went out with Georgie back to that balcony again. They weren’t going to smoke, just to chat to a few others who were out there. James was on the balcony with Grace nowhere in sight. He came over to her straight away and mentioned nothing like he did before. What they talked about, Lauren wouldn’t recall even moments later. The two of them were bunched up next to each and talking loud over the shouts of others. Lauren couldn’t think of ever being this close to him before. There was that time in the stockroom once when they were moving boxes in the corner – she couldn’t think why she suddenly recalled that – but even then, there’d been a distance. It was that guy-girl gap that she, without thinking, kept between her and another other man apart from Alex. The crowd of people made it impossible now. James was a bit taller than her. He was looking down at her. She’d caught him looking at her before – but his eyes did that to everyone – and saw it again. It was that look, the look a guy gives you when he is thinking about having sex with you. Lauren told herself to step away… but she stayed where he was. She didn’t feel uncomfortable despite what he was doing being perfectly clear. The urge to flee didn’t come. Yet, Georgie pulled her away in the end, seemingly oblivious to just how close she was, touching up against James, telling her they were going back inside. Let’s dance, Georgie said: let’s dance ‘til we can’t stand anymore!

Sonia started trouble inside. Lauren was dancing when Libby come over to her and whispered that Sonia was saying to everyone in earshot that Lauren had ‘taken her job’. Though she knew she shouldn’t have, she looked over to where Libby said Sonia was at the bar. A stare was coming straight at her, a dagger-eyes look. Lauren turned back away, keeping up with Georgie as the two of them kept on dancing. She saw James turn up on the dancefloor and this time there was less of that earlier crazy dancing. He was still making a fool of himself but it was less embarrassing than before. Then Sonia was nearby too. She wasn’t dancing but talking in Libby’s ear while looking at Lauren. Georgie saw it as well. She invited Lauren to come to the toilet with her. They each went in their own cubicles, talking through the partition. Lauren got her phone out though, only part listening to what her friend had to say. Yes, she knew that Sonia wasn’t worth the bother. Yes, she would just ignore her. Lauren agreed with this but also read the text there from Alex. He didn’t say anything about her not responding to his last one nor anything about their row before she’d gone out. Instead, he was telling her he was going out for the night with the lads. He was on his way out now. Lauren replied by telling him to have fun as she played the game of pretending that earlier didn’t happen. Sonia came into the toilets as Lauren and Georgie went out. Lauren avoided her gaze as they went past each other. Sonia was soon back out though – in and out in ten, fifteen seconds – and back towards the dancefloor where Lauren went. She looked towards that balcony through the glass. Perhaps she and Georgie could go there? Nope, now there were loads of people out there and there was no room. Lauren went to her mum, aiming to drag Georgie along though her friend suddenly went the other way, back dancing.

Over with her mum, Lauren suddenly didn’t want to be at the party anymore. There were other things going on, further disputes that she hadn’t been aware of that she now was. Too many people were arguing and she was asked to take sides in those rows. This party was supposed to be fun and now it was turning out not to be. Georgie was off with one of the guys, kissing Dan over in the corner. They’d been on-off for some time and now they were back on. Lauren knew she’d seen little of Georgie anymore tonight now that her and Dan had decided – however temporarily – to rekindle their thing. Sonia was going to keep stirring trouble. That text from Alex had told Lauren that he was out. She wouldn’t have to deal with him at home. Back there she could get away from all of this drama here. Cutting and running wasn’t her style though. She fibbed, making up a story about being unwell. Lauren told the lie to her mum, to Georgie when she managed to grab her attention, to Chloe & Libby and to a good few other people too. Once she told it once, it came far easier to her lips each other time. How was she going to get home, her mum asked: was Alex coming to pick her up? Nope, she’d get a taxi. There was a taxi stand a couple of shopfronts down from the bar where she was, just before the end of the street. It was just short of nine o’clock, and with a reported tummy bug, Lauren left the party. She didn’t see James before she left.

She saw him outside though. He wasn’t getting a taxi but crossing the street. There was a newsagent he came out of – getting cigarettes? – and he called across to her before marching carelessly out into traffic in his hurry. The fool! Lauren winced when a car screeched its brakes and the driver beeped his horn. James give him the finger and came up to her. Was she going? She was. Was she okay? Not really, just going home because I don’t feel so well. Can I walk you to the taxi rank? Its only there! Can I walk you anyway? Okay. Lauren let him with walk her the maybe thirty steps. James had got his wish as he’d become that white knight he had tried to be with her earlier in the evening. There were four people in the queue ahead. One taxi showed up and Lauren didn’t think the wait would be too long at this rate. Talking with James, she asked him why he’d been at the party. He said that he’d missed people, been invited unofficially and so come. Was everyone okay with him being there, Lauren asked: the bosses especially? James told her that her mum had been glad to see him though there were the pointed remarks made by others at top like Rachel and Michelle as to what he was doing there and whether he should be. No one had told him to go though, he said with a smile, so he’d stayed. He told Lauren he was glad to have seen her and disappointed she was going so earlier. It was a shame to miss out in catching up with her. It struck Lauren that he was flirting with her. All of this was James making a move. Not a direct one but he appeared to be building up to that. This followed up from how he’d been earlier otherwise it might have seemed innocent. Another taxi came and two, not one people ahead of her got into it. James seemed to pay attention to that too. He said that he’d been intending to leave the party at some point as well. He’d thought of going somewhere else. Could he ask her a question? Lauren looked right at him, no longer sweeping her eyes up and down the road for an incoming taxi. She had a very good idea of what was coming and wanted to take it all in. When ready, she told him he could ask away. He took a gulp, smiled and asked her did she wanted to go somewhere with him?

It took her a moment to answer. She did open her mouth to say no but closed it again. She considered the consequences. This was no innocent thing James was asking Lauren to do. Going off somewhere with him shouldn’t be something she did because she was with Alex and this guy clearly had an interest in her. She had been planning to go home because she was fed up. Staying out, alone with James, was something very different. She responded non-committedly: where did he want to go and for how long? He at once suggested a nearby bar, a busy one here in the middle of town though said nothing of how long for. Lauren shook her head. Is it going off with me or going there, he wanted to know, that you object to? No objection to the first one, objection to the second. She was being cagey on purpose though had just giving him enough of a sign that she was interested. At any moment, Lauren told herself, this conversation can end too if she wished it. Another taxi came before it went any further. She was at the front of the queue, one which someone had joined behind her and James. Is there somewhere you would like to go? Now that was a question that Lauren appreciated. It put things into her control. Lauren named a place, a pub right outside of town. She couldn’t imagine anyone she knew being there tonight. If she was going off with James, and it was still an ‘if’, she didn’t want anyone seeing them and getting the wrong idea. He at once agreed. They’d go there and have a drink, she said, have a chat to catch up more too but there would be nothing more to it than that. She made that clear. James nodded and eagerly said he was up for that. A taxi came soon afterwards. Lauren got into it with James, going off somewhere alone with a guy who wasn’t her boyfriend. Despite what she’d said to him, she was well aware that the chances of this being nothing more than a friendly drink & chat were impossible. Denying it to herself was impossible too.

[thedarkmessiah]

They rode in the back of the taxi. James had sat on the far side and she’d put her seatbelt on while over to his left. Lauren told the driver where to go. Nothing was said for a moment. Lauren felt James looking at her and turned to him. He was smiling, a big grin was on his face. He asked her about the pub she had said they were going to: had she been there before, was it a busy place etc.? Oh, no, she lied, she hadn’t been there before. She doubted it was busy, Lauren added, and that much was true. James also wanted to know if she was feeling better. Super good, she told him. The words fell out of her mouth. They were there in ten minutes. The taxi driver had sped up the bypass and pulled up outside. It occurred to Lauren that maybe it wasn’t far enough out of town to be safe that no one who knew her. But they were there now. Damn. James went in first though Lauren was right behind him. He paused inside the door, taking a look around. Lauren went past him and over to the side where there was no one else seated. Very few people were in here. Several middle-aged couples, a few older singletons and a group of three young guys who looked like university students who then left. James followed her, catching up to her as she sat down at a table. The bench seat was against the wall. After putting her bag next to her, Lauren saw that James was still standing. Shall I get us each a drink? You pay this time, I’ll go for them and pay next time. What do you want? She told him she just wanted a Soda, nothing alcoholic.

James said he was going for a smoke though he’d get the drinks first. He wasn’t gone for long. Lauren again looked around the bar. She knew no one here. It was gone nine o’clock on a Saturday night. She thought that if many more people were coming, they’d be coming pretty soon. This place was sure to close at eleven so few others would be arriving to make a night of it here if they weren’t here already. This still wasn’t ‘safe’ but it was better than that place in town where James had wanted to go. He came back, put down her drink & his before saying he was off for that smoke. Five minutes, he said, and he’d be back. Lauren took out her phone. Her mum had texted her saying she hoped Lauren had got home okay and they’d talk tomorrow. Chloe had sent a similar message. As she was reading that, Lauren heard someone coming in the pub. She looked up. It was no one she knew, another couple holding hands. This was a couple’s place. She was here with James and they were far from a couple. Yet… she wasn’t here with him. He’d buggered off outside. The thought hit Lauren that she’d made a mistake. She should really go. Maybe she’d wait ten minutes, no twenty, and say she felt unwell again. She’d told James she was ‘super good’ back in the taxi and regretted that now. She shouldn’t have said that and kept the possibility open of possibly being unwell to make it easier to go if needed. Yet, at the same time, if she realised too that if she wanted to go, she could say anything she wanted to and go even if James would pretend he didn’t know she wasn’t being truthful. He was no dummy. He would understand that because she had a boyfriend, she’d been hesitant to come here with him and she might back out. Making her mind up, Lauren decided to give him thirty minutes instead. She’d listen to what he had to say, see if he listened to her too. If he could prove with his behaviour that he was worth her running a risk to her relationship, hell, her reputation among people they both knew too, to spend a little time with him, then she’d stay longer. Checking the time, the countdown began. Lauren put her phone away again and back to the table James came.

James passed the test. It was more than three quarters of an hour before she remembered her thirty-minute rule and looked at her phone to see the time. During that, it was more than worth Lauren coming here alone with him. James talked to her about his new job, his family, his life and more. She asked him questions and got some gossip from him too. He was funny. He wasn’t telling jokes but he made her laugh. When she was speaking to him, James paid attention. Lauren had never spoken to him this much before. She saw why plenty of the other girls had liked being around him at work. Lauren put the question to him about if there was, or ever had been, anything between him and Grace. He said there wasn’t nor had been. Had there been a recent girlfriend that he’d had? He clammed up on that bit. Lauren had hit a nerve. She thought about pushing it but decided not to. What would that gain? It was only after that did she then check the time. James had been nursing his pint of beer but now finished it. He’d asked sometime before, when they were in the middle of talking, if she wanted another drink when she’d long drained her glass. Now he asked again. Yep, she said. Lauren was staying too she didn’t need to say aloud. It was her turn to go get them and pay though. Upon telling him that, James said he wanted to go for a smoke again. If she insisted on paying, he declared, then he’d still go get them because he’d be up. Lauren wanted to go to the toilet though. She told him she’d go – not mentioning her detour for a quick wee – and he could wait until she came back to go for a smoke. That was the way it was going to be. James stayed where he was.

Lauren walked off with a smile, liking how she remained in control of this whole situation. She went to the bar after the trip to the toilets and got herself another soft drink plus him his pint of beer. Standing at the bar, her eyes swept around looking for any faces she knew but she saw none once again. James was facing the other way. When they’d been talking, he’d been listening but he’d been looking too. She caught his eyes many times towards her top and the little bit of cleavage she was showing. Lauren hadn’t minded. That didn’t mean she approved of his leering but it hadn’t upset her. He found her attractive and that was okay with her. Now she was looking at him though he didn’t know it. James was… okay. If she had a type, he wasn’t it. That didn’t mean there was anything wrong with him though. Him being a smoker, not seeming to have settled down and all his close friendships with so many girls were real issues that anyone who would be considering him as a boyfriend would point to in an unwelcome manner. To be honest, he didn’t have a lot going for him in life and that, regrettably, did seem to be his fault. These were his negatives. Yet, that all aside, what was most important was that she had a boyfriend so wasn’t looking for any positives in him nor considering any future between them. Her and James were never going to be together.

Getting back to where James was waiting, Lauren didn’t fancy sitting back down yet. She wanted to stretch her legs a bit more. She gave him his drink without taking a seat and asked him if he was still going out for a smoke. He was. She told him she was coming with him to get some air. They went out the back to the beer garden where he went before, not out onto the street at the front. It was cold. Lauren felt the chill at once, almost going right through her. She took a step back. James asked what was up but saw her shiver and said, yes, it was cold out here. He had a jacket, a lightweight leather one with him. He took it off and asked if she wanted to wear it. The white knight had returned! Lauren told him no, but thank you anyway. She crossed her arms over her chest and rubbed her shoulders. Her eyes saw James’ look towards her boobs as they were pushed up by her doing this. He looked back away as he lit his cigarette. How many times was he going to check her out? James hurried his cigarette. Lauren paced a bit. She told him that that wasn’t to rush him but he was quick regardless. This was about stretching her legs a bit, she said, before they went back inside. James nodded in agreement but still was in a hurry to finish his smoke. He asked what time the pub closed as they went back inside. Lauren was saying she thought it was about eleven that it shut but wasn’t sure. James spun around before she finished and went back outside. He grabbed his pint glass off the bench where he’d put it – she’d held onto her drink all the time she was outside – and came back to join her inside the door. On the tip of her tongue, Lauren had a remark which she almost said: you were probably too distracted looking at my skinny arse to remember to pick up your pint. His eyes had gone that way when he’d thrown his cigarette remains away. Yet, she didn’t say it. The moment was gone. It suddenly didn’t sound as witty as it did at first. Lauren saw several tables free here near the door. There’d be a breeze should anyone else go in and out but she fancied sitting here. James didn’t disagree but, even if he had tried, she would have talked him around at once. He had done what she wanted all night and she was in no doubt he would continue to. Still, she continued to be in control of this whole situation.

They got talking again at once. James soon asked her about her boyfriend. He knew Alex’s name too. How long had she and Alex been together? Four years. Where was he now? Out with his friends. Maybe he was going to ask something more to that, but he didn’t. She thought she saw him trying to phrase another question. What could that have been? It didn’t come though. Their conversation moved on. It was just like it was before they’d gone outside. It was general life stuff. He made her laugh again though not so much as before. There was a difference this time around too. It took a little while, but she realised that he’d been quite eager to impress her earlier with much of what he had said. Only now was she able to see that. This time, this was more of the real him underneath that front he’d been behind. She didn’t know if she liked better the first James or the second James that she’d seen. Both were good company, both had eyes all over her. The deception though… Yet, really, was it him deceiving her before? Had he meant to effectively lie? Did he consciously know what he had done by being two different people with her? There was another question in her mind which that followed all of these others. Did it all matter? Look at what she was doing. She was here with James and play acting herself with how she was being around him. Lauren was keeping herself in check. All she did was deliberate. Unlike him, she wasn’t letting go of the front she had put on like he had. Everything remained under her control. At any time, she could still walk away after doing nothing wrong so far. James went off to the toilet. Lauren looked at her phone. There was a message from Georgie decrying how Lauren had left the party. She was missing out on so much going on! There was no message from Alex though. He was off out and not thinking about her. Was he talking to another girl at the moment? Alex had cheated on her once, a long time ago. She’d said she’d forgive and forget. Lauren really had tried to do both. She had failed though. It wasn’t ever going to be something she’d get over nor see removed from her memory.

James came back, taking her attention off her phone and said that he wanted to ask her a question. Ask away, Lauren told him. He said that he wanted to keep spending time with Lauren this evening but it was getting late. This pub would be shutting soon. He was going to order a taxi. James said this, his preamble, and then got to that question which he had promised. Would Lauren like to come with him when he left? Where, she countered, would they go? Well… he was thinking they could go to his flat: would she like to come? It wasn’t a smooth approach. Lauren believed that in his mind, when he probably thought this up in the toilet, it probably was a lot more of an astute manoeuvre at that point than it had turned out to be. She said nothing more. Lauren starred at James. She waited to see if he anything to add to it. Was he going to declare that the whole thing was innocent and tell her not to get the wrong idea? Would he suggest that they just forget he said it? In fact, was he going to say anything more!? He did. He put his hand out towards where one of hers was on the table. His hand was cold. James wrapped it around her hand, the grip not tight. Lauren could have easily pulled away but she didn’t. It was the first time he’d ever touched her. She realised that was significant. Lauren waited to hear the words which would come with this gesture. Come to my flat, he said, I really want you to. His eyes pleaded with her to say yes.

They were in a taxi twenty minutes later. James had told her earlier where he lived. It wasn’t the best part of the city, over on the west side. She told herself that when she left there, whenever that was, she’d have a taxi pick her up from right outside his flat no matter what the circumstances were of her leaving rather than walking about looking for one. They didn’t talk in the taxi. The trip was short. Lauren’s mind was thinking over what she was doing. All innocent intent she could argue she had in going with him to the pub before this taxi ride was now gone in agreeing to go to his flat. She was honest with herself. Lauren was going there to have sex with him. Being with him this whole night was about making herself feel good, to be with James knowing that he really liked her and getting all of that attention she had, but now the consequences of that were here. He’d asked that question and she’d said yes to it. So Lauren was going with James to his flat, going to his bed too. Of course, she had yet to do either. She didn’t have to get out of the taxi when they reached his flat. Lauren told herself that she could bid him goodnight and direct the taxi driver to take her home. The whole comment was phrased quickly in her mind. She could even tell him now before they got there that she was going home instead. Yet she didn’t. Lauren said nothing. The taxi soon enough came to a stop. James paid the driver and opened the door on his side of the car. Talking hold of her bag, Lauren did the same on her side too. They were both out and away the taxi then went. Here we are, James said. She followed him to the door ahead of them.

[thedarkmessiah]

When James had said he lived in a flat and he took her to that door beside the high street shop, Lauren had just imagined that he lived upstairs on the first or second floor. That wasn’t the case. There was one door off the street, an entranceway with two doors – one to the left into that shop, the other in front which he unlocked – before they went down a corridor. There was a staircase which went up but he took her past it and down to another door. This was his flat, on the ground floor behind the shop and not above it. Three locked doors they’d gone through to get there! They were in the kitchen first. It was small and tidy. Lauren didn’t think he used it much. It led to a living room where there was an external door that looked like a fire door: perhaps that led to a garden, maybe just an alleyway? From the living room – there was a sofa, an armchair, a television and a little table in here – there was another internal door. Lauren imagined the bedroom and bathroom were that way. James sat down on the sofa. Come sit, he said: here next to me. Lauren did as he asked. Her bag was put on the table and she slid off her shoes.

James kissed her. She saw it coming, the way he moved to face her. His lips were on hers and she opened her mouth for his tongue. It was a nice kiss, a gentle one. Lauren had seen him slip a mint into his mouth in the taxi though there was still that issue of his smoker’s breath which took away a bit of how good this was overall. His hand touched the side of her neck and she turned to face him better, allowing for the kiss to continue without straining her neck. She brought one of her own hands up to his side, then moved it to his forearm. She moved her head back, breaking the kiss. Where is the bathroom, she asked him: is it through the door? It was, he said, past the bedroom and at the end. Lauren got up and so did he. He stepped past her, opened the bedroom door and hit the light switch. There is a cord for the light in the bathroom, James told her. Lauren swung her eyes around as she went through the bedroom. His bed sat in the middle of the room and she went past it to the final door. The light came on when she pulled the cord. Lauren closed the door behind her and she saw that James was still where he was in the doorway between the living room and the bedroom. She went to lock the bathroom door, habit that was, but didn’t. It wasn’t an invite for him to come in and she was sure he’d understand that. Otherwise, any appearance of James when she was in here could be a bit awkward!

Lauren stood over the toilet seat, rolled up her skirt, pulled her thighs to her knees, did the same with her knickers and then sat down. She had a wee while looking around. Like elsewhere, it was neat and clean in here. There was no bath in the bathroom but a shower instead. Lauren saw two bath towels on the radiator and also a hand towel. She wanted that smaller towel because what she would have used instead was in her bag back in the living room. Standing up, Lauren used some toilet roll to first wipe herself though didn’t straighten her clothes yet. The sink was beside the toilet and she turned on the cold tap. One corner of the hand towel got a bit of water on it before she pulled it away. She wanted to feel clean, free of sweat and odour. Lauren wiped herself between her spread legs again, going all over her mons at the top, down underneath and back up the crack between her bum. With the other end of the towel, she then dried herself off. She would have wanted a bath before going back out rather than using that wet towel, even using her feminine wipes, though it was better than nothing. The towel was then rehung with Lauren putting the wet bit out of sight.

She paused before she did anything, allowing the feeling between her legs to fade. The rough edge of the towel had been nice, especially when it touched her clit. Her hand went that way… but she stopped. Since Alex’s little problem, her hand and her clit had been having a passionate affair yet now she was in James’ flat where he was certain to replace her hand with his everything he had to offer. Looking down, Lauren was disappointed. She hadn’t done her bikini line recently. Alas, nothing could be done about that now. It had been in a worse state than it was now. She pulled up her knickers and tights before pulling her skirt back down. Lauren looked in the mirror, checking her face and her hair. Everything was in order. This was the face James was going to see when she went back outside. She wanted to look as good as she could for him. Yet, still, it would be for her benefit too. Finished, Lauren put her hand on the door handle. She took a deep breath and told herself that even at this point, walking away could still be done. Yes, she’d kissed James but not yet fucked him. She would leave… but she’d stay with him instead of running off. She went out of the bathroom to him.

James was in the bedroom, changing the bed. He’d put a new fitted sheet on, changed the pillowcases and was in the middle of doing the duvet cover when Lauren came out of the bathroom. She stopped midstride, taken aback at what he was doing. In one way it was very presumptuous… yet she’d been getting ready to have sex moments ago too. Lauren wasn’t thinking there would be candles and soft music but this was remarkably surprising. He smiled and then winked at her. Can I help, Lauren asked, and get the other side? You look like you’re having a bit of a struggle with that. No, I got it, he said. He gave the duvet and new cover a shake and it was done. He must have done that a lot. Lauren moved out of the way as he put it down on the bed. She waited for him to finish, expecting him to kiss her again before they moved down onto that freshly made bed. He didn’t though. James said he’d be back in five minutes. Unnecessarily, he held up five fingers to emphasize the point before he then went into the bathroom with the door closing behind him. Lauren’s mouth might have fallen open in shock at him disappearing so quick. She recovered though. She sat on the end of the bed waiting for him. Lauren heard the shower going. She got up at that and had a quick nose around his bedroom. This was somewhere he lived, not a home. Everything felt cold: not physically, but emotionally. There were no pictures. There were no trinkets. This was a room for sleeping. There was a table beside the bed and she opened the top draw. A watch, some loose change and condoms were there. Four condoms.

Closing the draw, Lauren went over a stack of books and saw that they were all textbooks. He’d been to university though she knew he’d finished several years ago. Fiction books were in another upright stack coming up from the floor to reach the windowsill. They were all classics of literature. Lauren turned on the spotlight – it was a reader’s light, not a lamp you’d find in someone’s home – back over on that bedside table and then went over to switch off the overhead light. There was only a bare bulb there. The thought of being naked, which she soon expected to be, under the harshness of that main light wasn’t appealing to her. Lauren pushed down the top of the spotlight too, darkening the room a bit more. The bathroom door then opened. James stood there with the brightness behind him. He had a towel around his waist. She saw him over her shoulder come towards her at the table where the light was but didn’t turn around. Liking how this was going already, Lauren waited for him.

He came up behind her, his hands on both her hips first before his arms slid around her waist. James pulled her towards him. She felt his breath on her ear and could detect the toothpaste coming from his mouth. Lauren could also feel something behind that towel, something hard. James pushed his right hand down her skirt. She felt him in her knickers with searching fingers and was about to guide him. He found her clit himself soon enough though. His touch on it went right through her. The wave of pleasure caused her to move backwards into his grasp. James had her clit between his two fingers. He held it, rubbing it ever-so-gently between those fingers. A gasp escaped her followed by a command: keep doing that! She turned around after a bit. He could have made her cum like this but his kissing of her neck and his grip around her waist distracted her too much. Lauren pulled his hand out of her knickers and spun around on the spot. James tugged at his towel. It fell to the floor. His cock was hard. It was a good size by what she could see of it, something she confirmed when she gripped it in her hand. Alex might or might not have been bigger, but James’ was hard. It showed no sign of going soft either to make her feel inadequate. He kissed her again with his arms going to hold her. Lauren stepped back from it. Wait, she told him. She took her top off over her head and it went to the floor. Her skirt had a zip at the back and she pulled that down to allow her skirt to hit the carpet.

James’ eyes ravished her. You’re so beautiful, he told her: you’re a dream come true. It was nice to hear but it did nothing for her. She didn’t believe it either. Lauren was in a matching pair of black bra and knickers with the latter hidden by her tights. There was nothing special about what she was wearing, nothing sexy because this was her practical underwear. His face didn’t say that. Yet, to be honest, Lauren had to concede that it was what was underneath those remaining items of clothes that he wanted to get to. That was why he was saying what he was. She kissed him, she making the move. She pulled him towards her, he was in her arms. Her eyes were closed but the bed was right there behind him. An idea popped into her mind, a naughty one. She removed her lips and then – gently – pushed him back. James landed well. Come here, he said, come down on the bed. Wait, she told him. He lay back as she stood at the side of the bed. She undressed herself. She didn’t want him fumbling with bra-strap or him catching his nails on her as he took off her knickers. Lauren took off her tights first. Using that table as a balance, her legs came out one at a time. James kept his eyes on her as the bra came off next. Her nipples were rock hard, just like she could see his cock was. Before she was completely naked, Lauren had a question. How many other girls have been here doing this? James screwed up his face and then said that he didn’t want to say. Lauren wasn’t finished with her impromptu interrogation though. Has anyone I know, anyone we work with, been in here? Oh, no, James shook his head as he replied, that hasn’t happened. With that emphatic answer, her knickers came down. She loosened them at the top and shook her hips to allow them to fall. James stared dead ahead, taking it all in. She wanted to give him a show, she wanted to feel as wanted as anyone can be, and that Lauren really did. What had Georgie said about James wanting Lauren in his bed? How true that really was: she just had to look at him to see how much he wanted her. Now, only now, when she was ready, did Lauren get atop the bed with him. They were naked and at once in each other’s arms. Lauren was here because she wanted to be and they would be fucking because she wanted to as well. It was James’ job to make her cum.

[thedarkmessiah]

At first Lauren was on top of him. She was kissing him. Hands, arms and legs were everywhere. His hard cock dug into her belly; Lauren didn’t know if he could feel the wetness between her legs on him. He broke off the kiss and rolled her over on her back. Lauren lay there as his mouth went down her neck, onto her collarbone – ouch! – and towards her left boob. His mouth swallowed her nipple and seemingly most of the boob too. Lauren winched at a sudden sharp bite. Stop that! Sorry, he said as he pulled his mouth away. James at once went to licking the other nipple. Lauren didn’t fancy a repeat of that fumbling error. She pulled him up to her face while pushing a hand of hers down. Again she held his cock as they kissed. One of his hands came into the middle too. His touch was soft like before. He went straight for her clit again, through her short public hairs right on it with no messing around. Yes, do that! He took his lips off hers again and down he went, their hands coming away from each other. Past her boobs he went, down further. Lauren knew where he was going. She spread her legs, raising her knees. The air from his breath ran across her pussy lips but all of her focus was once more back on the feel of his lips on her clit once again. Was he obsessed with it? If so, that was only a good thing! Lauren fought the urge to wrap her legs around his head, even reach down with her lands to hold it in-place too. She instead stretched out, spread-eagled on his bed. He stayed with his mouth on her clit, nowhere else between her legs, and had his hands on her spread knees. Licking, sucking and even nibbling he was. James was getting an A-Star for cunnilingus!

Through her whole body she felt it. The build-up began. Lauren let it come naturally, not rushing it. Don’t stop, she said, her voice suddenly hoarse: keep doing it just like that. The spasms began. The muscle movements in her groin were uncontrollable. James moved his hands up to her hips. Lauren brought hers in and placed them atop of his. Her legs came in too as she got closer to orgasm. First one leg then a second was placed on his shoulders. Again, she thought of enveloping his head to keep him there but then he might stop. Lauren didn’t want him to stop. She got closer and closer and… then she came. Oh, yes! Yes. Yes. Yes. James kept on doing what he was for some time after she came. Then his lips went down. Her pussy lips were given all sorts of loving attention and then he pushed his tongue up into her opening. He swirled it around inside her pussy. It was nice though it wasn’t going to make her cum again. James raised his head. He looked up at her, one hand slowly being placed on her boob – not the one with the nipple he’d accidently bit but the other one – and she looked back down at him. He looked so proud of what he’d done. That was the only description Lauren could make of that. It had been a long time since this had been done to her. Alex, who thought it unhygienic – her sucking his cock wasn’t though: go figure –, wouldn’t do it even though she was willing to do anything he wanted in bed, especially when his little problem began, and Lauren tried to fix it. Now James had reminded her how great getting her clit and pussy lips sucked on really was. 

He’d done so well that Lauren felt that it would be only right to return the favour. What guy doesn’t like getting his cock sucked? It wasn’t her favourite thing in the world to do though nor was she adverse to it. As long as he didn’t hold her head nor cum in her mouth, she was all good. After telling him what he about to get, Lauren rolled him over and sat between his legs. His cock was still hard. It had lost none of that all the time he’d been making her cum with his mouth. Amazing! She grabbed it by the base and realised the he had shaved it though not his other public hairs. How strange, how thoughtful! She leant forward and manoeuvred it to her mouth. Lauren licked her lips and let it slide past them. She only had the head of it, the glans, in her mouth. While not huge, she wasn’t taking all of this and having to be careful at all times not to gag. Lauren was more comfortable with a cock in her mouth by concentrating on just the end of it. She sucked on it, used her tongue on the tip & the bowstring and wanking the length of his cock towards her mouth too. James liked it. He liked it a lot too. He lay back and groaned with pleasurable sounds; his hands came nowhere near her head even when she took it out of her mouth and licked his cock up and down the undersize too. Lauren used another hand to touch his balls, small balls she discovered, though did the majority of the work with her mouth. He leaked a lot of pre-cum. She swallowed it, getting it out of her mouth and carried on. The oral favour was being repaid but she didn’t want him to cum. His breathing was getting stronger and he was moving his hips. It was time to stop.

Have, Lauren asked, you got a condom? She knew he did but asked rather than admit she’d been opening and looking in draws. James said yes though looked like he wanted her to pull his cock back into her mouth: too late. Get it, she told him. He leaned over, opened the draw and there was a rustle. If there had been no condom, there would be no sex going on here. Lauren saw it in his hand. Give it to me, she told him: let me do it. Can you put it on using your mouth? The tone of his voice told Lauren that he was trying to be funny but she wasn’t playing around with this. She shook her head and he handed it over with a devilish grin. Lauren used her teeth to rip the packet open and take it out. There was enough light to see what she was doing. James had sat up in the middle of the bed. He moved to help. I’ll do it, Lauren told him: it’s no problem. Several years ago, Lauren had a bad experience with a boyfriend before Alex where he’d put a condom on but not properly. It had come off mid-way through sex. He said it was an accident. Lauren hadn’t been so sure. James didn’t give off any vibes that he would do anything like that – though neither did that guy Paul – yet Lauren didn’t want to take the chance. His cock remained hard, pointing straight upwards. Carefully, she put the condom over the top of his cock as she held the base. She rolled it down. Perfect. Just like they taught her in school! Lauren waited until he was looking right at her. Fuck me, Lauren told him.

Lauren pushed James down and climbed onto him. She put her legs either side of his waist as she sat up, dodging another kiss and then raised herself up. One hand slid down between her legs while the other was on his belly to keep him where he was. His hard cock was found at once. She guided it to her pussy and sat down on it. Oh, yes! She said that in her mind. James said the exact same thing aloud. She didn’t know how it felt for him but it was damn great for her. It was a perfect fit. He stretched her just as she wanted to be. Up and down she started moving, riding his cock. James tried to trust up with his hips. Stop, she told him: let me do it all. You told me to fuck you though. His remark was true, she had, but she didn’t care. He did as instructed, letting her do everything the way she wanted to do it, and she carried on where she left off. Using her thighs, she rode him. Plenty of lubrication, she was probably wetter than she’d ever been before, was inside of her to make the in and out go easy. She closed her eyes, concentrating on it all. The hand that had put his cock inside of her moved to her mons and eased her fingers down to touch her clit. For a moment there was a slight sting though that passed. She knew that she was able to cum again soon enough, she just had to get there. James had one of his hands atop the one of hers on his belly, the hand which held him in-place and where she wanted him, though he brought the other one between her legs too. Lauren increased the speed of the fucking. Faster and faster she went. James’ hand, moving near hers, wasn’t allowed to interfere. Lauren urged the orgasm on. She went even faster. His cock tore into her pussy, started coming out before she sunk back down on it again along its fell length. On and on she went fucking him, rubbing her own clit too until… here it was now… almost… almost… and… yes. Oh, fucking yes. Boom. The explosion went off. Lauren stopped rocking back-and-forth on his cock and concentrated on the waves of pleasure which went through her. She came hard and for longer than the first time. This was tremendous, a stunning orgasm. The best in a long time.

James came upwards after her hold on him had finally loosened. Twice you have cum, he said with a seemingly awe at that: can we make it a third time? Lauren had no reply. She was still lost in the effects of the orgasm. He mouthed a line from a song which she couldn’t place. It went ‘she always cums when she’s on top’. His mouth went back to her that boob he was giving most attention to, the one which he hadn’t bitten. You have epic tits, he told her. The use of the word ‘epic’ was one which Lauren couldn’t fathom how to reply to; nor was she impressed with ‘tits’ either. James licked the nipple in front of him rather dramatically. His tongue ran over, around and then back over it: the wetness caused a tingle. I’m really sorry for biting earlier, he continued, and I hope you’ll forgive me. He started sucking on the nipple again. James really was a boob man! He was also a guy who had just made her cum twice. More was what Lauren wanted though, much more.

James manoeuvred her onto her back. He could only do this because she let him. Lauren reminded herself that she was still in-charge here. It was at once clear he wasn’t about to go standard missionary on her. He wanted her to raise herself up on her elbows. Lauren complied. Now, he followed up with, bend your knees and raise your body up. As she did so, James brought his hand underneath her lower back to support her weight. Lauren saw his cock – still hard! – pointing right at her as James was at between where her feet were, on his knees. Then his cock slid into her pussy. He thrust forward, slamming his hips into her upper thighs. He started fucking her hard. His face was contorted in quite the amusing fashion. Lauren didn’t want to laugh at him because that wouldn’t just be unkind but ungrateful too. She closed her eyes and focused. The fucking felt good. She’d never done it in this particular position before either with Alex (before his little problem) nor her two previous boyfriends. This was also the only time she’d ever had sex with not someone who was her boyfriend. James was her fourth. The best? No, but still pretty damn good especially at making her cum.

Back to the actual fucking ongoing now, it was blatantly clear that James was certainly enjoying this particular bit more than her. This is what guys like though, Lauren knew that. One of his hands had moved down underneath her bum and she felt his fingers digging into her cheek. She moved slightly, easing the pressure. James carried on regardless. In and out his cock went again and again. The thrusting up her made her think that if this went on for very long, her insides would be mush. It seemed like his cock was bigger than it was. With a wicked smile, Lauren imagined how much he’d beam ear to ear if she told him how large his cock felt inside of her. Nonetheless, she’d keep that to herself. Clearly, in bed he had a bigger ego that outside of it and why would she want to increase it? Everything he’d said and done since she’d been inside his flat was not the usual him… nor that other James she’d seen earlier too. This didn’t alarm her though the multiple personas he had shown was something to remember. A thought occurred to her. The manner in which was having sex with her now and when he’d made her cum the first time with his mouth, it was almost like he was putting on a show for an imagined audience. Lauren also considered that he was trying to impress her too with what he was doing. He wanted her to enjoy this, maybe more than he wanted to himself. After a bit longer of him doing this, fucking her like he wanted to, Lauren sought a change in position. Like before when she was sucking his cock, every sign he was showing made her worry that he was going to cum too early. Turn me over and fuck me from behind, she instructed him.

As he took his cock out of her pussy, Lauren spun herself over rather than waiting for him to do it. She was flat down on the bed with her legs spread out. She imagined the view she was giving him. It was complete exposure. James would be able to see not just her pussy but her bumhole too. Everything was there for him to look at. Of course, he would only be sticking his cock up the first one: there was a time and a place for anal sex with this not being it! Only once she’d done that, with plenty of lubrication, and it wasn’t something she ever planned to repeat. James moved up against her but didn’t put that cock in anywhere. How Lauren wanted it inside her again though. His mouth was on her skin at the top of her back instead. He ran his tongue along the course of her spine. She arched her back, moving into the touch given by the tip of it as further down it went. The thought occurred to her that maybe he was going to keep going. That other hole of hers, above her pussy now, had his mouth on it before she could stop him. James ran his tongue down her bumhole, thankfully not sticking it inside there, with it making contact for the briefest of moments. The feeling was quite something. She might have let out a little squeak. Maybe it was a big squeak. She liked it even though she had told herself when it was done to her before that she didn’t. On his tongue went though, back to her pussy. James lifted her up a bit and spread her legs apart with his hands. He buried his face in there. It wasn’t her clit this time but her pussy lips. Each one he sucked on a bit while putting his tongue inside her. You’re so wet, he said, and you taste amazing. Lauren didn’t want to hear such compliments, she wanted his hard cock inside her. He gave her that eventually.

Lauren slid a hand down there to guide him in. She was sure he’d know where he was going but she wanted to be sure there was no attempted ‘sorry, wrong hole’ moment. There was no need though. James had the decency not to play that game. If he had tried, she was going to get up off this bed and leave straight away. The thought of the painful horrors of unwelcome buggery aside, James’ cock was back inside her pussy, where it belonged. He was going at it like an Energizer Bunny yet she kept her hand where it was. Lauren didn’t hold his balls but instead touched her clit. She was masturbating once again. She told herself to stop and let him make her cum but he was fucking her fast again. Whatever way they did it, whichever the position was sex, he seemed likely to cum. Once James did, this fucking would all over with for him. She wanted to cum again and that would thus have to be first. Therefore, it was a race!

Lauren won the race. She came a minute or so before James did. Her third orgasm wasn’t as intense as the second one but stronger than the first. She moaned with pleasure, almost howling. Her whole body froze just ahead of relief – James pounding away into her pussy with his hard cock from behind almost ignored – before the release came. Three times, James said: three times! Lauren couldn’t have cared about anything he said at a time like that. Then, she felt him stiffen, grunt and he called out with the words which would long stay with her: ‘Oh, baby, fucking hell yeah, you’re the best’. His fucking of her ceased. He pulled his softening cock out of her and climbed to the side, collapsing on his back beside her. Lauren remained where she was, face down on the bed. She listened as James took off the condom, with an audible slap, and she presumed he threw it in that bin by the wall. Where else could it be? Finding out meant making some effort. She felt no need to do anything but lay here. Three times she had cum in during an extraordinary fucking that James had given her. James got up off the bed after a few moments.

Do you want anything, Lauren? A glass of water? Yes, please. Lauren felt the thirst, the dehydration, sweep over her the moment he asked. It took a lot of effort to speak and her voice was once again hoarse. She needed that water. Turning her head slightly, she saw him walk naked to the bedroom door and open it to head for the kitchen. It made her aware of her own nakedness, especially since the living room light was on and brightness entered the bedroom. James had had his cock in her mouth and in her pussy. He had had his mouth on hers, on her boobs, on her clit & pussy and even – for the briefest of moments – on her bumhole. With that last place, she reminded herself not to kiss him until he’d washed his face. Anyway, she’d just had sex with him but now she didn’t want him to see her naked. They’d been fucking on top of the duvet yet it was now a mess. The room was suddenly cold too, this time physically not in the emotional way in which she had viewed it when looking around James’ bedroom. With a lot of effort, Lauren pulled the duvet over herself and turned onto her back. She felt sticky wetness – it had to be hers from her pussy that had rubbed off – but didn’t care. Cumming three times, in such a way as she had done through what James did, made a lot of usually big things less important.

He came back with the water. He was wearing jogging bottoms. Lauren presumed his clothes were still in the bathroom and he must have got what he had on now from the living room maybe? Whatever the case, he was (partially) dressed. She wasn’t. She told herself she needed to get out of James’ bed and to get dressed. What she really didn’t want to do was go to sleep. Lauren sat up as he gave her the glass and she swallowed the contents down in two gulps. Thirsty? Yes, she answered, I was. I’m going for a smoke, he said: just out the side door and I won’t be long. Lauren told him that was okay. Are you going to fall asleep in my bed? I’m not planning to! After this exchange, Lauren put the glass on that table next to the bed. She knew it would be a bad idea to lay back down but she did. James was going out the bedroom door and she reckoned she had five minutes alone. In that time, she should get dressed. He stopped and turned around though. He came and sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from her but with his head turned to look at her. I love you, Lauren. He said it remarkably casually. James put a hand out, touching the duvet between his palm and where her chest was underneath. He held it there and the expression he wore signalled to her he was waiting for her to say something back but then he jumped up and went to the bedroom door before shutting it.

Lauren heard a second door open up. During that time, and afterwards, Lauren didn’t move. Her face would have shown James what she thought of what he said should he have been here to look upon it. It wasn’t what she expected to hear. All of this, being here and fucking James, was unexpected, yes… yet that was something else. She shook her head, telling herself he was a bit worked up after sex. Like she did, he would have enjoyed that. His cock would be confusing his mind. There was a good chance that he would come back and tell her he didn’t mean it. He’d be embarrassed after realising his own mistake though so maybe he wouldn’t. Lauren considered this another surreal moment in a crazy night. She shut her eyes for a moment, just a moment was all she needed. Then she’d get dressed and see how this night was going to end. It would end too, because she’d come her and got what she wanted. That wasn’t just to cum, cum three times too, but to feel wanted sexually. Lauren kept her eyes closed while recalling how good that had felt but would open them any second now.

[thedarkmessiah]

Opening her eyes, Lauren first reached down beside the bed for her phone. At home, it was always placed on the carpet to the right. It wasn’t there. She stretched for it but couldn’t find it. It wasn’t there because she hadn’t put it there. It wasn’t there because this wasn’t her bedroom. Upon realising that, Lauren sat upright at speed. The duvet cover fell away from her. Next to her was James. He was asleep, wearing a pair of boxer shorts now. How could he have let me sleep? How could I have let myself sleep like this? Knowing the time was important but so was getting out of this bed. It wasn’t where she wanted to be anymore. She silently thanked James for the three free orgasms but this had been a bad idea. She carefully climbed out. James made a little noise yet didn’t wake up. That slowed her down, made her take more care than she already was. Lauren crept away, deciding she didn’t want to wake him. Her mind was clearer than it first had been. She remembered where her clothes were but they weren’t there on the floor where she searched for them. The room was dark – James must have turned off that spotlight – but he’d left the curtains open. There was a full moon out and the little light streamed into the room. She now saw her clothes. They were on a chair under the window, that one between the two stacks of books. James must have picked them up and he’d left them in a reasonably straight condition too. He’d done all this while she was asleep, after coming back in from outside. Lauren put her bra on first, then her knickers. It was the tights and then the skirt next. Finally, she pulled her top over her head. The bathroom, where she could look in the mirror, was to the left but Lauren turned right. Going into the bathroom to look in the mirror at the state she was sure she was in would mean turning on the light in there. It could mean waking James up. Nope, she didn’t want to do that. Carefully, slowly, Lauren opened the door back to the living room.

The curtains in there were open too and there was enough light to find her bag. She took her phone out and it lit up upon her touch. The time read 02:17. Gone quarter past two in the morning! Lauren’s mind raced to work out how long she had slept for. She tried to recall what time she had gotten here and to make a guess at how long they’d been fucking. The figures wouldn’t come to her. There was a distraction in that. There were three text messages waiting unread on her phone, one of those from Alex. She didn’t open any of them yet, leaving the outcomes of what they were until she’d left here. Lauren found her shoes and then went into the kitchen. That door had been left open but she eased it closed now. There was some distance between where she was and where James was. She searched in the on-screen phonebook for a taxi number.

Lauren was about to call for one when she realised she didn’t know exactly where she was. The street name was known to her but not which flat number which James lived at. She had told herself earlier she wouldn’t be waiting for a taxi out on that road, not in this neighbourhood. There were all them doors to get out through too. Three were between her and the road and she was sure that the first, on the street, was one James mentioned at the time needed a key to open even from the inside. All in all, she needed James to allow her to leave. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. There would be no leaving here without having to have the awkward conversation with him. The awkward conversation which was certain to come after he’d told her that he’d loved her. No longer creeping about, Lauren went to wake him up.

He jumped up when she re-opened the bedroom door. I wasn’t asleep, he declared: I was just resting my eyes. Okay… Lauren explained the issue. It was late and she wanted to go home. She needed him to tell her his exact address so she could get a taxi and he also needed to unlock that door. You’re going? NOW? It appeared to her that he found this utterly incredulous. Yes, I am. Please, can you not? Sorry, but no. Lauren was determined to leave. Staying wasn’t an option. James asked her to please sit down for a moment. He turned on the spotlight and pointed towards that chair underneath the window. Can you give me a minute to tell you something? He was pleading with her, begging almost. Lauren didn’t want to upset him. He’d been nice to her and… he’d given her so much of what she needed. There was too something else. She worried that if she was terrible to him, he might blab to others about what had happened. That could be denied – she’d say that was only in his wet dreams! – but she had a reputation and that wasn’t one that involved her being a slut who cheats on her boyfriend by going off and fucking James. She sat down where he wanted her to. I’ll give you two minutes, she told him. He used those two minutes, maybe a bit more too, to talk ceaselessly. The words came thick and fast, like he’d long wanted to say this.

I love you, Lauren. I’ve loved you since I first met you. In fact, I loved you before I met you. I knew your mum Amanda had a daughter and I searched for you online. I looked at your pictures on Facebook and I was in love. You are beautiful, there is no one else like you. When I was told you were coming to work with us, I knew I’d love you even more when knowing you properly. You turned up and you were like a dream that was now real. You are the exact type of woman that I love to love with you being as amazing as you are. Did I tell you that you were beautiful? Your eyes, your lips, your freckles, your tits, your arse. I love how you look. I think about you all the time. I dream about you. I want us to be together, for good too. I love you so much it hurts, deep down in my soul. I went to that party because I knew you would be there. I saw you were upset on that balcony. I wanted to hold you and tell you I loved you. When we were talking again, the second time, all I wanted to do was to kiss you and tell you how I felt. I convinced Dan to kiss Georgina and distract her so I could be with you as much as possible. When I heard you were saying your goodbyes, I was crushed. But I had a plan. I went outside, hoping you would come out alone. I waited in that shop and when you appeared, I raced out to see you. I would have gone wherever you wanted, done anything to be with you for the night. Lauren, I left working with you because I love you. Every day seeing you and not having you drove me insane. I went because I couldn’t take it anymore. Then, when I was gone, I missed seeing you, snatching momentarily conversations with you, being in the same building as you. The pain was even worse. I’ve never hurt so much. Being with you tonight, in the pub and then here, has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Making love to you was better than I ever imagined it would be. I want to do it all the time, doing it your way too. Tasting both your holes was heaven and I’ll lick them night and day, making you cum because I love you. I want to be with you forever. Dump that Alex wanker because he is no good for you, Liam told me all about him cheating on you before, and be with me instead. I love you, Lauren. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ll always love you. My love is unconditional. Nothing will make that go away. Say you’ll be with me, please? I need you. We’re meant to be together, fated to be together, don’t you understand? Lauren, I love you, I really do.

He said all this just like it was perfectly reasonable. Lauren stared at him throughout without saying nor doing nothing. She was waiting for him to stop, laugh and tell her he was joking. But he didn’t. James was serious. It ended with him getting off the bed and coming towards her. He closed his eyes and tilted his head. He tried to kiss her while she sat on the chair. Lauren moved sideways and got up. Unfortunately, James crashed into the now-empty chair because she wasn’t there and he’d believed she would be. The accident looked worse than it was. He got up off the floor quick enough, seemingly unharmed. That might have knocked some sense into him, Lauren told herself, but if it didn’t, he’d get the message now. James, you don’t know me and you don’t love me. We had sex and that was… He cut her off: I do love you! James was standing in front of her with such a sad look on his face that Lauren almost felt his pain. Almost. You never talk to me, she told him: you look at me but that has always been lust. She continued, trying to set him straight. Tonight was about sex. That isn’t love and nor is love what you have said it is you feel for me. James, I don’t feel the same and I never will. He stepped backwards, sitting on the edge of the bed. His head was tilted down. I haven’t talked to you much, yes, I admit that, but that is because I love you. That was his final remark. There was nothing more. Lauren went back to the chair. She didn’t feel bad for what she had done in telling him no. The craziness that had come from him had been… well… crazy love. She recalled a phrase she’d once heard: Amour Fou. It didn’t exactly mean crazy love yet it fitted here with what he had said. James said nothing else. He just sat there in complete silence. Lauren wanted to go over to him, hold his face and shout into it ‘What the fuck, James?’ She did no such thing though. She waited to see what would come next. All of what he had confessed to was beginning to disturb her, make her feel worried. He said he had loved her before he knew her because he had stalked her online. He’d used his friend to distract Georgie. He’d waited outside for her. He’d done all that he had tonight, agreed to everything she wanted to do all, for a motive she hadn’t in any way expected. Lauren actually felt sick at the thought of what he’d done. Amour Fou meant an unhealthy, relentless passionate obsession, didn’t it? Did it also mean when a guy wasn’t just crazy but scary too?

It took a couple of minutes before anything happened. James suddenly stood up and told her he was sorry: things had gotten out of hand. Forget everything he said, he urged her. Being kind, Lauren, who still needed his help, and also didn’t want to have him tell people about this, told him it was all okay and there was no need to be sorry. These things, she said as nice as she could force herself to, sometimes got a bit out of hand. That sounded better in her head than it did aloud yet it was all that she could think of say. What was important was getting out of here. James got his jogging bottoms and told her his flat number. He’d let her out and wait at the door with her too: it would only be right for him to do he said. Lauren thanked him, again having nothing more to add than that. There was no wish in her to get back to his insanity with that declaration of love. Those things he had confessed to made getting out of here her priority more than it had before. She went to the bathroom first, this time locking the door behind her. Lauren looked in the mirror and saw the mess her face and hair were in. She took a moment to try to limit the scale of the destruction unleashed before having a wee. Then she was off to the front door with him.

There was an excruciating long wait for the taxi. They stood inside the opened door just off the street. Cars and people went past. Even at this time of the morning, it was a busy road full of people going home or even continuing their night. Lauren stood against one wall, he against another. A few hours ago they had been fucking and she was lost in the orgasms he gave her. Now, he frightened her. Lauren stuck it out though. There was no other option but to wait. She had her phone out. She read messages from Georgie – gone home with Dan she had: did she know she had James to thank for that? – and the one from Alex. He said he would be home by four o’clock. Lauren’s taxi was due at three twenty. She had enough time to get home before him and do what she must first. Close it would be, but doable. First though, there was this wait with James. Lauren tried to steel herself against another outburst of his inner feelings. There was dread there though a random thought entered her mind, a silly line which could have been in a film, like in one of those gross-out irrelevant comedies she and Alex would watch: ‘His Amour Fou is bad.’ Lauren had read about Amour Fou and this one that James had really was bad too. Bad in every possible sense of the word. Yet there was escape for her from it. The taxi arrived. Goodbye, James. And she was marching out to it. He said something. It could have been ‘goodbye. It could have been ‘I love you’. It could have been ‘my Amour Fou is bad’. Whatever it was, she would never know. Lauren was gone.

[thedarkmessiah]

Once home, Lauren went straight upstairs to her house and undressed. All her clothes went into the wash-basket. She got straight in the shower. She could smell James on her – his soap, his sex sweat – and she also knew she smelt of her own sex sweat too. All of that she wanted to get rid of, right now. The water took ages to warm up but she was under it even when it was cold. Alex would be home soon and Lauren hurried. She washed herself all over, looking down at her groin as she scrubbed all around the outside of her pussy. How could she have let James be fucking her there when he was so crazy? But… she hadn’t known that, had she? There was a little numbness inside, deep inside. Lauren checked her boob too, looking at the nipple he'd bit. There was no sign of injury though she touched it and it did sting. What an unpleasant reminder to have from the night! Once done washing, she was out and went back across the top floor of their small house into the bedroom wrapped in her towel. She put on her pyjamas, turned out the light and got into bed.

When Alex came home, twelve minutes later, Lauren told him that she’d been here for hours waiting for him to return. The lie easily rolled off her lips, lips which had been kissing someone else only a few hours ago. Her and Alex kissed momentarily, he told her he loved her and then back to sleep it was for her. As to James, Lauren wished never to see nor hear from him again. That was her last thought before she closed her eyes. The next morning, Lauren showered again. She finally felt that she had washed James off her. It was Sunday. Neither her nor Alex had work. They went to his dad’s house for dinner with Alex’s step-mum there too. Alex asked her twice if she was okay. She seemed distant, he said. Lauren told him she had too much to drink the night before. Where did she go? With Georgie around many bars, she said. She was lying again. That, she realised, was why her boyfriend asked her if she was okay. He knew something was up but couldn’t put his finger on it. The issue with her that day was guilt. Lauren had done wrong. Last night she hadn’t cared but today she really did. She told herself several times that she was a slut. Only a slut would do what she had done with James. She should never have gone and fucked him. What an idiot!

At work the next day, there was talk from many people about things that had happened at that party long after she left. Gossip ran rife with Lauren hearing about arguments and hook-ups. She was asked a couple of times about her supposedly going home ill. Worrying, she tried to pick up on any signs if anyone had any inclination of the truth of where she had gone, with whom too, upon leaving. Nothing was said to make her think that though. James was barely being mentioned either: only one person spoke of him being at that party, another one of his many female friends by the name of Charlotte who had turned up late and was reportedly gutted to have missed him. That was it on the subject of James though. Lauren saw Dan too, James’ wingman. She flashed a smile at her but went about his work. There was nothing more than that from him. Whether he knew what she’d done, she couldn’t tell. It caused her worry that James had been bragging to him about his conquest. At lunchtime, Lauren went out with Georgie. There was no intention of telling anyone now nor in the future about what happened with she and James.

She ended up telling Georgie though. This only occurred because Georgie relayed the details, the full story with nothing left out, about what happened with Dan. They’d gone back to Georgie’s flat and she’d had sex with him last night as well as the next morning! Georgie had had a good time. Lauren started talking with the aim being to tell her work bestie how James had played an underhand role in seeing that start but, rather quickly, decided that that would be unfair to Georgie. It occurred to her that maybe James might not have been telling the full truth there. Also, upon reflection, it would hurt Georgie too if she knew she was just a pawn – should what James have said be true – in someone else’s nefarious, insane schemes. Yet, Lauren had already started talking though and she carried on with the tale of what had happened on Saturday night and the early hours of Sunday. She got it off her chest, finally letting it out. Georgie’s reaction was something special: Oh. My. Fucking. God. Georgie said she just couldn’t believe what Lauren had done. With James of all people! No way, how could you have sex with him? And he said all of that too? Georgie didn’t tell her off nor give any judgement. She had questions though. She asked all about the sex – Lauren told her everything apart from that small issue of James momentarily licking her bumhole: she was disgusted at that and couldn’t bring herself to mention it – and then listened as Lauren went through again what he’d said after it. Georgie had never heard of ‘Amour Fou’ so didn’t get Lauren’s joke that she told her. What she did know was that the things he’d said to her friend were disturbing. Georgie shook her head and then nodded knowingly. I always knew he was odd, she said: I’ve said before there is something wrong with him. Lauren didn’t recall that. Regardless of her friend’s sudden (and late) caution, she swore Georgie to secrecy and then asked for help. There’d been that lie Lauren had told to Alex. Could Georgie help covering everything up as best as possible if Alex somehow heard something? Consider it done, Georgie assured her.

It was a busy time of year at work and at home for Lauren. Christmas and the New Year were coming up. She had a lot going on. The days passed by, then the weeks too, and nothing came of what had happened with James. The guilt that she had about what she had done faded quite a bit. It was being replaced by anger. Lauren’s rage grew at what James had done. He’d worked to put her that situation that he had. He’d confessed all of that as well as saying about how much he apparently loved her. She was mad at him because she’d been tricked. If there had been any hint of that insanity, she never would have gone off with him. Lauren had known he’d fancied her… but to be so obsessed as he was with her wasn’t something she had picked up on. He’d hid that from her. James had done everything he could to get her back to his flat where he could ambush her with his madness. Less and less did Lauren think that she had done wrong. There was no more looking in the mirror calling herself a slut. There was no more of that self-shamming.

She saw James on Christmas Eve. Lauren was in her car and coming back from her mum’s house. She stopped at a set of traffic lights and he crossed the road. He was oblivious to her. She sunk down in the driver’s seat, trying to disappear ahead of him seeing her should he look over into the car. Onwards James went though, going wherever he was going. He was oblivious to her watching him and worrying about him realising she was there. She thought of him a few times at odd moments and heard his name mentioned in passing at work. Each time, it unsettled her. Lauren was trying to forget him, and especially what happened between them, throughout the holiday season and into the next year. Surprisingly, James made no effort to contact her. Lauren had been dreading him messaging her online, getting her phone number somehow for a text or call, even turning up at her work. He did no such thing though. She was glad that he didn’t. How to deal with him was something that she ran hypothetically through her mind on several occasions. All of those situations worked out well but Lauren did admit to herself that she hadn’t expected what had happened in his flat and so she couldn’t be as prepared as she’d like for him making contact. Yet, James left her well alone.

On her birthday, a week before Valentine’s Day, Lauren was getting ready to go out for dinner with Alex. She came out of the shower, went across the landing to the bedroom and found her boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed. He was naked. His cock was hard. He got up, came across to her and started kissing her as she dropped her towel. Lauren and he hadn’t started anything like this in months, long back before she had sex with James. In previous occasions, his cock had quickly gone soft. Lauren wanted it to stay hard this time. It did too. They fucked and they both came: her first, then him. Only afterwards did his cock go soft. It wasn’t a one-off. They were both late for work the next morning when they had sex again then. Alex could function as a lover again, not someone she lived with who couldn’t have sex with her. The issue had disappeared. Neither of them talked about it. They just had lots of sex, making up for all the time that they didn’t. Lauren’s world was complete again.

James had sent her a message on her birthday over Facebook. It was a private message wishing her happy birthday and asking if she was doing okay. It wasn’t until the next day, after that morning of sex, that she replied. She kept it brief just as he had done. Lauren thanked him and said she was doing okay. There was no further message from him. He didn’t contact her again. The months went past. Lauren almost forgot about what had happened. Alex could please her in bed now like he’d done before his little problem. At some point, maybe six months later, Lauren heard from someone at work that James had had some personal problems and wasn’t doing so well. He’d gone back to London, Georgie had said… or so she’d heard anyway. Lauren didn’t know the details though. It didn’t matter either way. James was gone from her life. Her anger at him had went in time too. That was because she didn’t think about him. He just didn’t matter in her life. It was like that night – the sex and the Amour Fou thing – never took place. Lauren got caught pregnant. It wasn’t planned. She and Alex discussed what to do and agreed that they should have the baby. A little girl was born: Jessica was at once the light of Lauren’s world. She married Alex afterwards. They moved house and they were happy, in all ways. Alex was a good husband and a good father who provided for them well. Lauren took a new job, one with less hours so she could spend as much time with Jessica though still working a little. Family members helped out with babysitting. Lauren soon regretted working while her little girl was so small, even those few hours, and eventually became a full-time mum. She’d wait until Jessica started school until going back to work part time again. Alex had a repeat of his little problem. This time, Lauren forced him to take charge of the situation. She didn’t want what was not her fault to make her feel inadequate again. He went to the doctors and something was done about it. She certainly didn’t cheat on him again by fucking someone else now that they were married with their little girl. Her happiness wasn’t going to be risked like that.

It was just short of five years since that night before she talked to James again. She was the city centre, alone and shopping for a gift for Alex’s birthday, when she ran into him. For half a second, Lauren considered walking on. He caught her eye though and said hello. She said the same thing back. He didn’t look that good. He’d let himself go. Back to his old scruffy self, James needed a shave and to get to know his iron too. He stunk of stale cigarette smoke. His gaze was downcast, there was something wrong with him. James asked her how she’d been? I’m doing fine; you? I’m okay, I guess. What a great conversation this was! Lauren told him she had to go because she was running late. Have you got a few minutes for an apology? James was looking up at her now after his question, his face poised expectantly. Lauren told him there was a sandwich shop a few minutes away and that they could go there. He said he could do that, casually like it was nothing when it was apparent it was. Lauren would rather sit down and without people walking past when she heard what he had to say about him being sorry.

Once inside, Lauren got a cup of tea. James said he didn’t want anything. He had nothing else to say until they sat down on the tall chairs just inside the door. Asking if Lauren was still working where they once had been working together, he was surprised that she no longer was. Where was she now? Oh, I don’t work anymore. Catching up with anyone else after not seeing them for so long, Lauren would have if not before now, then at this point for sure, spoke of how she wasn’t working because she was full time mum. She would have beamed when talking about Jessica. But, she just didn’t. Lauren didn’t bring that up, not wanting to let James get a glimpse into her life. She told him she’d heard that he’d returned to London – hadn’t he long been supposed to go after being at university up here in this city? – but hadn’t that worked out? Oh, no, there were some things and… and he never finished what he was saying there. There was just silence instead and him looking down again. He couldn’t, wouldn’t meet her gaze. Lauren had most of her cuppa while they sat in silence. She hadn’t come her to do that though. James, she began, I thought you wanted to talk? You wanted to say sorry to me, make an apology: I’m not being rude, but I really am busy. Can we get that over with? Now, he was looking up. No, he shook his head is a dismissive way, that’s not what I meant at all. His eyes met hers and there was anger in them. What I meant, his words came sharp, was that you need to apologise to me. Lauren put her cup down, telling herself not to throw the contents over him. I loved you, he carried on with it, and I told you I loved you. You had me make love to you, tricked me into it, used me, pushed me to the floor, broke my heart and ruined my life. After all this time, he concluded, I’d think you would have realised what you did and would be ready to say sorry for it. There came a triumphant stare at the end of this tirade.

Lauren could have said a lot in return. She had no wish to though. Five years had passed by and James had only gone crazier when it came to her. She didn’t need this in her life, not now or ever. Lauren took a moment to recall what she hadn’t said to him at the very end of that night all that time ago. This time she did. James wanted a reply and he got one. Your Amour Fou is bad. He gave her the most confused look in return. Lauren enjoyed that. She had done to him what he had to her: she said something completely crazy that it would leave him bewildered and unable to reply. Then, she was up and out of the little shop, escaping from his madness. Lauren could only hope that that was to be the last of James in her life.


The End