I was sitting in my office, doing routine paperwork, when there was a knock on the door, and I said "Come in."
One of my Electronic Communications students came in, and close the door, but she didn't sit down. Instead, she came around my desk, and showed me her phone. "There's this guy," she showed me a chat, in Messenger, "I went out with once, and he keeps sending me pictures."
"Okay," I sat up, "And I take it they're unwanted?"
"Well, I didn't mind it at first, but. He keeps sending them, and I asked if he wants to hook up, or something but no." She shook her head, "He just keeps sending pictures, and it's kinda getting annoying."
"Well," I tried to think... "He doesn't go to school here?"
She shook her head, "He already graduated, but I don't want to get him in trouble, or anything."
"You just want him to stop."
"Or stop teasing me, and. You know, I keep asking if he wants to come over, or something, but no. He doesn't even say anything any more, and when I complained about him teasing me, he just did it more, and more. Why do guys do that?"
"I'm sure, it's probably a lot of things, but this sounds more like your garden variety exhibitionist."
"Yeah, and a tease, and a troll." She shrugged, then thought. "It just doesn't make sense, not like I haven't seen it before, like a hundred times now, and I even had it in my mouth." She looked down, and away.
Smiling to herself, but obviously not blushing out of shame. Nodded, "Oh yeah, and he kept doing it when I tried ignoring him, too. I know, I should probably just get a new phone, but I have a lots of friends, and it's going to take forever to call them all, give them my new number, and update the contacts..." Still thoughtful, I already had my phone out, and switched over to the recording. Stopped it, as I was talking, and typing at the same time, when she interrupted me. I can talk, and write at the same time, it's useful as an instructor, so I also use it to mutli-task. However, at that point, I don't have the audio file, and I didn't take note, so most of the rest of the conversation has to be pieced together from memory.
A long story short, we both considered multiple possibilities, but finally decided to send him dick pics back. Not his pictures, but other pics sent by other men, so I brought up my collection. She asked me where I got them from, so I told her that I'm a single woman, I date, so I have men send them to me, too. Not just dicks, but generally camming, sexy chats, and cybersex.
She stopped me, and asked me "Who's that?"
"Oh, uh." It was my turn to blush, and turn away. Smile, a little guilty to myself. "Just some woman, I went out with." Not just with embarrassment, but that's what made me realize what I was doing. With a student, which made it forbidden, and. You know, standing up in front of the auditorium, and remembering when I was a student. Looking up, at, and imagining teachers naked, and/or having sex...
"You're bisexual?"
"Well, yes. I suppose you could say that, I'm not. Well, I don't tell everyone about it, but."
"It's okay, I won't tell anyone neither," or something like that, and then she said one of those things. "Your secret's safe with me." She lowered her voice, not to a whisper, but then there was a long awkward silence, while I looked at the MacDonald's cup, and the tube pushed out of place when she sent me that photo. Knowing that she most likely triggered her OCD, and immediately had to fix it when she put the phone down, then she took the phone in her bedroom for some caming, and masturbation together.
Look, I'm a teacher, not a lawyer, and not a therapist, but sometimes, over the years I've found myself in the sort of situations where I'm asked for advice. About things I'm not qualified to give advice on. For instance, back when I taught 7th grade. I forget the subject, this was years, and years ago, so I was Substituting, but the man that I temporarily replaced. Well, he lost his job, and I don't feel a single shred of guilt because I was instrumental in the students coming forward, but that's something they said.
They all said, that they kept his secret, because that's how they operate. In a word, child molesters, and I can't go into any more detail than that, because I signed documents with the school board, and I can't say anything about that either, but I never, seriously considered, doing anything. Like that, with a student, after that.
Finally, she pointed out the long awkward, and erotic silence, by saying "She's hot."
I found myself biting my lip, so i spit it out, and said, "Yeah," or something like that.
"I'm not bisexual, well." I looked up to see her thinking, "I don't know about that, i mean, I have thought about. Hm." she looked down, and smiled. Shook her head, and bit her lip, but didn't say anything further.
I swear, in the back of my mind, the opening sounds, and guitar riff to "Don't Stand So Close to Me" got stuck in my head. None of the vocals, words, or even the rest of the instrumental part. Just the opening bars, looping over, and over, like a broken record.
Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnIL5Irc1pc Right about to 0:35, before i remembered the first lyrics: "Young teacher, the subject, of schoolgirl fantasy..."
While she just stood there, right next to me. Uncomfortably close, her face lit up with so much blood that it made her lips plump, deep red, and even a little glossy from biting her lips as well. She took a deep breath, and let it out with a sigh, before she broke eye contact, before she went on.
"You know, you're kinda hot, as well." Or something to that effect. I know that she used the word Hot, which I chose to misconstrue. Nodding, and loosening my collar, but by then, I knew what we were doing. she was seducing me, and I was letting her. I'm not going to suppose that all that with the dick pics was just a pretense to come into my office, get me aroused, and take advantage of me. For all i know, she interpreted that picture when I finally got to it in my collection to be my way of subtly showing her that I'm not, totally unwilling to be sexual with another woman, but she wasn't a child.
She was a young girl, at the time. I don't know, somewhere between 18, and maybe 25, considering how advanced our Electronic Communications class was in the curriculum, but I digress. It hard for me to admit how weak I was, and unprofessional. Risking my entire life, and career for this impulsive fling, and that says nothing about seeing her again in class, before I had to transfer her to a colleague.
"I've never done it, with another girl before, though."
She lied. By the way, a woman can tell, when another woman is far too good at, well everything. Honestly, the way she approached me, and she didn't take over the conversation. Change the subject, or steer it back around. I suppose until I just stopped talking, because I didn't know what to say, not to mention anything I did say would only make me guiltier. I felt guilty the whole time, but at the same time, like a child molester, and not in a bad way. Well, not that there is any good way to molest children, or feel like you are, despite her age, and aggressive seduction, I kept thinking about that.
Honestly, I kept thinking about them, the middle school girls, especially when they got together, and shared stories, that they'd never been able to open up to anyone about, because they all agreed to keep it "Our little secret," or "Your secret's safe with me." And some cried, they all got very uncomfortable, so you could see it in the way that sat, squirming, and hesitated to go on, but they got through it, and it was a healing experience for them, but it's not like they broke down into a schoolgirl orgy. Which is something I hadn't even fantasized about, for over 10 years, because it's sick, and quite honestly unrealistic to an absurd degree, but I'm ashamed to admit. That when she started taking off her clothes. Took my arm, and put it around her hips to embrace her, and touch her, sexually.
I thought about them, watching me, and even played out a monologue in my head. Showing them how to touch a young woman, like this, and trying to imagine what they must look like now. Seeing as it had been over 10 years, any one of them had to be even a little older than this one.
My hands didn't shake though. I didn't hesitate, and I knew exactly what to do. Of course.
She sighed, and picked up her phone.
"No," I let go. "No pictures." Suddenly, I got scared that she was only trying to blackmail me. Not for grades, she was bright, attentive, and understood well enough to get them on her own, but then again, she could claim that, I demanded sexual performances for grades. Not that he did any of that. He just had them pose for pictures, and used those to convince other girls to pose for more pictures, but not unlike how this started.
"I can't. I'm sorry, I can't, it's not that I don't want to, and you are, so sexy." I almost gave in again, and her scent filled the air, clinging to my fingers, "So sexy." So, I got up, and wiped them dry on some tissue from the box. "Hhuh!" I took a deeper breath, and let it out slowly. "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Standing by the window, and looking out. Watching other students, and faculty walking around the quad, but none of them looked up. If they had, they would have seen me, fully clothed, and looking out the window, alone.
"Okay," she already had her underpants back up, and her bra fixed, when I looked back over my shoulder, but she'd put her phone away. I masturbated, furiously as soon as she left, and to this day it was the most erotic experience of my life so far, but I'm glad that i was able to stop myself before it went any further.