Why is replying a bad thing?

[psiberzerker]

I don't recall either of them trying to harass a member by "outing" them to the rest of the board either, but hey whatever. If you were not blind to your own biases they would not be biases.

Would you remember that, though?  KitKat was before my time, but from what I hear, she overposted even more than I.  Would you have remembered if she "Outed" someone, or was perceived to "Out someone," years ago, amongst all her posts?

Negativity bias.  That was the worst thing you could come up with, I called Athos an ace-hole?  You still don't remember all the posts I haven't replied to, today.  This is not the only active thread today, nor was it yesterday.  

I've read discussions on Football, among other things today, I didn't reply to because I wasn't interested, and they didn't concern me.  And yet, nobody responded to them, because they're afraid that I might reply to them.  

This is the only thread, I've replied to.  At all.  Today.  Did anyone notice?  No, because the consensus is that I compulsively reply to every thread.

Confirmation bias.  All I have to do is reply to one.  Even if I don't reply, nobody wants to discuss anything else.

[psiberzerker]

Here: http://www.kristensboard.com/forums/index.php?topic=21526.msg557565#msg557565

Here

And here.

Those are just the 3 I haven't replied to, in General Discussion.  That last one, I haven't replied to, THIS MONTH.

So, if you're all afraid  that you can't say anything, about anything, anywhere, ever, without me replying to it, that irrational fear is completely unfounded.  I'm not the boogy man.  I'm not here to terrfy you until you're too afraid to speak.  I just want to be included in the discussions that interest me, without being attacked for replying.

[RopeFiend]

I don't want the last word, that means everyone shuts up.  That's what happened, on this board.  I got the last word, and nobody wants to reply any more.  Honestly, it sucks.  

If you truly believed that I just want the last word, then why are you all giving it to me?

It's called "giving up in disgust".  When a topic takes a wild-assed tangent, I go elsewhere. 

Same holds true if you start attacking specific WORDS that I use, utterly ignoring the context.  I just fucking give up.

Don't get me wrong: I don't want to see a gag-order on ANYONE here.  I'm an adult.  If I don't like it, I go elsewhere.  Lately I've been off on electronics and computer forums where people don't have pages-long tear-jerkers about how they're oppressed... 

[psiberzerker]

It's called "giving up in disgust".  When a topic takes a wild-assed tangent, I go elsewhere.  

What a mature reaction.  That's great, and honestly one of the reasons why we rarely have any problems.  You don't particularly like me, and I get that, but you don't go out of your way to reply to my "Pages long tear jerkers about being oppressed" because you seem to understand that that just makes it worse, whoever is having a histrionic moment, at that time.

Still doesn't address the way we killed the Forum (Let's not forget who the real murder victim is here.)  By actively, and systematically discouraging people from replying.  For whatever reason, that's not on topic?  Okay, then let's spend an entire page and a half linebanging someone for being off topic, before we get back on topic!

All of us.  No one of us is guilty of that.  Straying off topic is annoying, but it's hardly a pitchfork, and torches offense.  Anywhere else on the internet that I've ever seen.

[Lois]

I only asked one person to leave because it appeared to me that after chasing him off one board that she followed him here to chase him off again.

As for carte blanche. Carte blanche to do what?  I really do not see what the problem is. If we can tolerate KitKat and ChirpingGirl, I simply don't get it.

I don't find any of Psi's post offensive, although sometimes he disagrees with my ideas.  I find Psi's posts to be a contribution to the spirit of discussion on the board.

As I recall, both KitKat and ChirpingGirl were temporarily banned at one point and regularly chastised in general. I don't recall either of them trying to harass a member by "outing" them to the rest of the board either, but hey whatever. If you were not blind to your own biases they would not be biases.

KitKat was temporarily banned for deleting her posts.  CG was posted for some other reason, probably for harassing Katie.

[psiberzerker]

It was an attempt to abuse someone for their sexuality.

You're right.  That was wrong, and I'm sorry.

[MissBarbara]

As for carte blanche. Carte blanche to do what?  I really do not see what the problem is. If we can tolerate KitKat and ChirpingGirl, I simply don't get it.

I don't find any of Psi's post offensive, although sometimes he disagrees with my ideas.  I find Psi's posts to be a contribution to the spirit of discussion on the board.

As I've already stated several times, I agree.

There's that "Dead as a Doornail" thread, where people are complaining about the lack of fresh content on the board, and there's Psi who's actively posting fresh content to the board.

Complaining about the lack of new content, and then complaining about someone who is posting new content makes absolutely no sense to me.

I get it: Some people don't like Psi's posting style. There are times when I don't like Psi's posting style. But regardless of my personal opinion, lI appreciate the fact that he's posting content and, as Lois put it, almost single-handedly engendering discussions on the board.

Ironically, if those complaining in that thread would instead post content to the board, KB would no longer be "Dead as a Doornail."

[Jed_]

I know you can’t help yourself from replying.

The ‘Ask a Female’ thread is a classic example.  Any guy having what might be a legitimate question to ask there, gets an immediate response from you.  Your gender identification notwithstanding, I’m going to go out on a limb with my guess they were hoping for a response from someone without a Y chromosome.

And then there are the moralizing responses to that subtitled pic thread.  The subtitles usually seem like they are written by a 3rd grader, . . . . or ST.  You don’t need to reply as if it’s a real situation and you got a request to be their therapist.

Just try thinking a few minutes before replying.  Sometimes I see a reply to my posts less than a minute after I posted.  It’s impressive I admit, as I can’t think that fast let alone type that fast.

[psiberzerker]

I know you can’t help yourself from replying.

Even after I demonstrated that I have?

And then there are the moralizing responses to that subtitled pic thread.  The subtitles usually seem like they are written by a 3rd grader, . . . . or ST.  You don’t need to reply as if it’s a real situation and you got a request to be their therapist.

This Thread

Now, starting on the last page, scroll down, and see all of the days I didn't comment.  (Half.)  How many days I resisted this compulsion to reply to everything?  Again, you don't notice when I don't reply, only when I do.  Also, when those replies are "Moralizing," or "Playing therapist," which is always, it seems.

There's your picture of me, which you volley around this echo chamber, and get Woos for repeating, and then there's the reality, which is much less interesting.  

Just try thinking a few minutes before replying.

Again, I started doing that MONTHS ago, and again, you're here.  Giving me the advice to start trying what I have already been doing for months.  Thank you, so much, for playing my personal therapist.

Just like everyone else.  I thought you resigned that job, months ago.

[psiberzerker]

Now, I could try to explain to you how much effort I have put in, to get my replies down.  To avoid confrontations, and leave arguments when they start, but then I would be accused of over-explaining.  Because everyone knows, that's all I ever do.  

There's no win condition for me here.  Even when I play the villain you have me painted as, you go back to the same talking points.  Complaining that the behavior that I changed, as much as possible before the forums went dead are the reason why they're going dead, and taunting me.  Quoting me, asking me direct questions, and "Not mentioning anyone by name" so I give you another reply to bitch about.

Not once addressing the issue that YOU, all of you actively discourage replies, discussion, and participation.  Not just from me, "The worst offender," but every guest, and everyone who lurks here sees what happens when Anyone speaks up.  If Joan speaks up, Athos is there, to call her names.  If AB-2007 continues posting images in a thread with COMMENT in the title, we have the memberators there to enforce the unwritten rule that WE DO NOT COMMENT ON IMAGES.

Don't comment.  Don't reply.  Don't speak up.  Don't answer questions.  Don't be like Psi.

This example of what not to do is exactly what's happened.  The lack of discussion is a direct result of this constant reminder that the worst person on these boards is the one that's most eager to discuss things.

So, nobody wants to discuss anything.  They're not afraid of me, you're all afraid of seeming to be eager too discuss something.  Or "Everything."  Because I have an opinion on "Everything," no other topic of discussion is allowed.

[psiberzerker]

The ‘Ask a Female’ thread is a classic example.  Any guy having what might be a legitimate question to ask there, gets an immediate response from you.

This is a separate issue:  I have a "Perfect" counter-example.  (Ignoring all of the questions I didn't even try to answer)

The Sounding Thread  Please read the entire thing before replying.  There a "Female" asked a question, where there was only 1 person with direct, personal experience with the subject at hand, and how many people replied with their disgust?

The moral of that entire thread was "Don't ask questions about sex."  Not because you might be disgusted, nor even be judged for being perverted.

Because Psiberzerker might have an opinion, and feel qualified to discuss it.  Even if I'm perfect, to answer the question at hand.  I'm supposed to control my urges to discuss things.

Don't ask questions, or the boogyman might come, and answer them.

[_priapism]

Now, I could try to explain to you how much effort I have put in, to get my replies down.  To avoid confrontations, and leave arguments when they start, but then I would be accused of over-explaining.  Because everyone knows, that's all I ever do.  

There's no win condition for me here.  Even when I play the villain you have me painted as, you go back to the same talking points.  Complaining that the behavior that I changed, as much as possible before the forums went dead are the reason why they're going dead, and taunting me.  Quoting me, asking me direct questions, and "Not mentioning anyone by name" so I give you another reply to bitch about.

Not once addressing the issue that YOU, all of you actively discourage replies, discussion, and participation.  Not just from me, "The worst offender," but every guest, and everyone who lurks here sees what happens when Anyone speaks up.  If Joan speaks up, Athos is there, to call her names.  If AB-2007 continues posting images in a thread with COMMENT in the title, we have the memberators there to enforce the unwritten rule that WE DO NOT COMMENT ON IMAGES.

Don't comment.  Don't reply.  Don't speak up.  Don't answer questions.  Don't be like Psi.

This example of what not to do is exactly what's happened.  The lack of discussion is a direct result of this constant reminder that the worst person on these boards is the one that's most eager to discuss things.

So, nobody wants to discuss anything.  They're not afraid of me, you're all afraid of seeming to be like me, in that regard.

If you can’t be honest on the Internet then what is the point of an anonymous forum?  I’ll just state it.  You annoy the *fuck* out of me.  Fingernails on a chalkboard annoyed.  I don’t like you.  I’m not bullying you.  That’s just the truth of the matter.  It’s not your problem, it’s mine.

I’ve been here almost 12 years, have posted more than anyone, and have seen a lot of people come and go in that time.  Some I got along with, some I did not.  But I have never encountered an “in your face” poster that absolutely turns lemonade into lemons for me on a daily basis.  And it is all over the board.  There is no place to escape you.  Invariably if you post, you’ll be treated to the Encyclopedia Psitannica.  Again.  And again.  And again.

You’re not a villain.  You don’t have evil intent.  It’s a big Internet.  So post away.  You have a right to post.  I have a right to not like your posts.  You’ve been through this elsewhere, in other forums, or so I’m told.  You shouldn’t be surprised.  You created this situation for yourself, and now you play the victim.  You aren’t being victimized by anyone here.

If you want to see your problem, look in the mirror.  But you haven’t reached that stage of enlightenment yet.  Good thing is that Blaise Pascal observed “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”  Keep it up, and eventually you’ll get your chance.

[Jed_]

It doesn’t matter to me Psi.  After all this time on two different sites, I’m use to it.  I can enjoy your wit (which is extraordinary at times) and be largely immune or ignore it when I find the verbalizing to be excessive.  It’s possible I’ve had more exposure than anyone, and I’m fine with it.

You seem upset that people aren’t noticing your efforts.  I can’t say I’m noticing that either, if it’s replying to 85% of posts down from 90% of posts?

[psiberzerker]

You created this situation for yourself, and now you play the victim.  You aren’t being victimized by anyone here.

I basically agree with most of what you say here, but I'm not "Playing the victim."  I have no desire to be the victim, and I have stated multiple times that Kristen's Board is suffering the consequeces of this, not me.

You're victimizing each other.  You have been since before I came here, and rather than "Play the victim," I merely refused to edit myself, because I wasn't afraid of not being liked.  I didn't come here for likes, I came here for discussions.

My only regret is that you, all decided that you'd rather be silenced, then risk me appearing to be a fool.  I know my self image.  You are all really bad at guessing it.  Keep trying, I love this discussion too, but do try to talk about something else.

Again, look at all the threads in the past 48 hours now, that haven't been replied to, compulsively by me.

Here

Go back as far as you need to, to find that odious behavior, that triggers you into believeing that I am exactly what you tell me I am, but I'm not a victim.  I don't want that.  No matter how many times you tell yourself that.

I am not your victim.

[_priapism]

You’re not my anything.

And you need to understand that friendships, particularly online ones, aren’t a list count, or evidence points, or arguments to be won.  It’s nuance, shared experience, delivering your message in a way that invites response.  Gentle volleys, not slamming aces.

That’s vague and ambiguous you say?  Purely subjective?  Subject to biased interpretation? Yes, it is.  But millions do it every day.

I have three negative karma here.  One was given by MJ as a kiss.  The other two are from you.  I’ve offered to ignore you, if you will give me the same courtesy.

My biggest complaint is that you’ve changed my entire feeling about the board and online activities in general.  Again, my problem, not yours.  Post away.

[psiberzerker]

You’re not my anything.

That You was plural.  I'm not a Victim of this forum.  Nothing personal, but again.

The victim here is the Forum.  It's been murdered, and we all did it.  

In case you missed that, the 3rd time I said it.

If you don't care, you can go ahead, and stop pushing that "Playing the victim" narrative on me, any time now.  Tuck it away with "You brought this on youself" and "You're crazy if you think you can psychoanalize people on the internet/playing therapist" narrative too.

If you don't care, then you can stop projecting all these emotions on me.  I know how I feel, thank you very much.  Doctor.

[psiberzerker]

Get this through your heads, all of you.  This is important:

A victim doesn't fight back.  If I were the victim, or I desired this role, it would be so much easier for me to accept this libel.  What keeps me from being the victim, or playing that role in your collective fantasy is that I do respond to your tirades, and tantrums.

This latest blame, that everyone is leaving, for fear of being replied to by the Big Bad Knowitall.  The great, and terrible Psiberzerker (Obviously a name a submissive wannabe girl that only wants to play the victim would chose) is to blame for terrorizing these boards, and frightening the children from speaking out is just "Playing the victim."

Here.  You are my victims.  As long as you even hesitate to Reply, for fear that I might not understand your point.  You chose to be my victims, rather than talk to me as mature adults.  You cried to our mommies, because Lois gives me "Carte Blanche" to speak my mind, while you cower in fear of me.

That's your story, right?  Change it, write another fantasy, because this one still isn't about me.  I'm not even in it, so burn that strawman, or go back to talking about nothing.

I'm not your victim, no matter how many times you tell me that, and I never will be.  I'm not going to sit down, shut up, and accept the role you chose for me.  That ain't me.

[_priapism]

[psiberzerker]

Then stop replying to say that, and tell your friends to stop playing my victims.

You know they won't listen to me.

[_priapism]

Last word.