Sucks to be me I guess lol

[hassomeideas]

I’m a 34M married to a 32F we have a 4 year old and another on the way. Now here is my problem.

I’m the horny one in the relationship by a large margin, my wife is 5’3 blonde great ass and good tits so I’m basically all over her but since our first child she has only opened up for sex a handful of times. Now I worry this is the end of the sexual excitement.

I am open to sharing her and letting her go out have fun flirt and fuck as long as I know where she is and who with. She is not so into it she knows it’s my kink but leaves it there. That’s fine but leaves one of my fantasies as just that a fantasy.  Next is I have a 10inch cock and would love to be deep throated but my wife would surely die trying so we avoid pushing to the limit as she isn’t into gagging and being messy…… I’m all for that but I don’t want to push her. So again it’s left as a fantasy.

I have no one I can talk about this to and vent to. I don’t want to cheat on her and I don’t want to talk to anyone behind her back but fuck it’s so hard being basically a nymphomaniac and having no outlet.

Well that’s my vent.

[staci]

Can she cook? Is she a good mother? Keep her appearance up? If so, you are doing great. Swapping and cheating don’t make for a good marriage. Do what millions of other husbands do - jack off a lot

[hassomeideas]

Can she cook? Is she a good mother? Keep her appearance up? If so, you are doing great. Swapping and cheating don’t make for a good marriage. Do what millions of other husbands do - jack off a lot

She is all of those things. I do work solo but it’s sad I have to forget ever fulfilling my fantasies . Stacy was my x’s name BTW and she would have been 10000% down to be a hotwife but we broke up before her slut stage.

[Freesnowden]

I have no one I can talk about this to and vent to. I don’t want to cheat on her and I don’t want to talk to anyone behind her back but fuck it’s so hard being basically a nymphomaniac and having no outlet.

Well that’s my vent.

You can certainly talk to us. I'm in a somewhat similar situation. I've got a gorgeous wife that I love, but she's lost interest in sex. I've been trying new solo stuff and that's helped.

[JBRG]

Can she cook? Is she a good mother? Keep her appearance up? If so, you are doing great. Swapping and cheating don’t make for a good marriage. Do what millions of other husbands do - jack off a lot

She is all of those things. I do work solo but it’s sad I have to forget ever fulfilling my fantasies .

Like it or not, not all fantasies are. meant to be fulfilled.

Me, I have a fantasy of sharing my wife with another man. Despite experiencing a threesome many years before she met me, she has no interest in a three way "adventure". She is aware of my fantasy. She also has a much lower sex drive than I (menopause does that to women). I sort of get to live out my fantasy by occasionally verbalizing during our love making sessions. Some times she rolls her eyes which is her way of saying "Shut up." Other times she's into it and cums really hard. I could do worse.

The fact of the matter is, she is an individual and has the right to make her own decisions.

[staci]

 At the right time in the right place, she may surprise you. It' s the way we work.

[Jbird4]

I’ve spent the last 30 years in the exact same situation.   My wife is a good wife.  She keeps herself up, she is neat.  She is a pretty woman.  And a great mom to my two kids. 

After our second child she basically shut down sexually.   I love her so I tolerate it all.  Just as Stacy suggested I mostly jack off now.   I am kind of into the random cam sites a little now.  Most of my jacking off is online with other guys.  My wife would never understand why this interests me.   So we don’t Discuss it at all.   My masturbation is often enough and I think she has to know.   We have a don’t ask don’t tell policy.  I jack off kind of a lot I think.  I used to work far from home so I had relative freedom to get naked and spend my evenings masturbating.  That’s changed again and now I have to sneak a lot more.  It’s harder to find time and privacy.

I also agree that most fantasies are just fantasies and probably shouldn’t be acted out on.  I have some  that might even land me in jail.  But they are fantasies in my head.  I also have others that make me cum so hard that would ruin my marriage.  Probably because of my online play I would be very open to giving at least oral to a man.  To be honest I think about it lots and would probably do lots more.  But o don’t want to catch a disease and bring it into my family.   So it’s also a fantasy. 

Just jack off.   A lot.

[seeker83]

I think there are some fantasies and/or fetishes that CAN be lived out, and others that cannot.  It really depends on the situation, your significant other, etc.

Having kids makes things harder and generally, more of the burden and exhaustion falls on women and I suspect that is at least part of the decreased sex drive, although I am not an expert and am saying that is a "general" not a definite.

When I was married I also found that I tended to talk AT my wife about sex instead of talking WITH her about sex.  This was part of my own issues and such at the time, but maybe others fall into the same category as well.  Begging or bringing up sex, such as saying "we don't have it enough" isn't the same as trying to get down to what the other person may need or want in order to be more available for sex.  Would a weekend at a hotel by themselves with no spouse or kids help?  Things like that.

OK, I've gotten a bit off-track on fantasy.  I think that there are many times when spouses or the person you are dating are open to some fantasies or ideas.  Hell, they may have ideas you wouldn't have thought of as well.  But, some things might just be off the table.  It is ok to BOTH have fantasies you cannot ever achieve but also to have fantasies that you can share and engage in with the person you love.  So I do not think it is an either/or situation.

Anyway, that is my non-educated opinion from the divorcee perspective.

[Swampthing99]

     I'm seeing a pattern here with men in the same situation.  Having an overactive libido in a loving relationship with wonderful women that have simply lost interest.  Yes, I'm one of them.  The best advice I just read about physical intimacy waining in a marriage is to ask why?  I have to admit it seems like an almost impossible question to ask since I haven't yet.  It makes sense though.  I want to know, is it me?  Is it because I've let myself go and am no longer attractive?  Has she just lost the desire?  Is there anything we can do to bring back that spark (guessing in the dark is just pointless).  If you love me but you just don't find interest in it anymore, short of having an affair, what might she be OK with you doing to satisfy my needs?  Is joining an adult erotic story forum acceptable?    What about chatting with someone online?  You never know, there might be that unbelievably rare answer of, "I love you honey and want you to be fulfilled.  Go have fun as long as you are careful, I know what's going on and you always come home to me."  OK, I know that's a hell of a stretch, but we're never going to know the answers if we don't ask.  Someone once said to me, if you don't ask, the answer is always no.

     As was stated earlier, we're all here to talk to.  Check out one of my first posts, 'Am I alone in the depth of my dpravity.'  You'll realize your in the right place.

[Swampthing99]

     I'm seeing a pattern here with men in the same situation.  Having an overactive libido in a loving relationship with wonderful women that have simply lost interest.  Yes, I'm one of them.  The best advice I just read about physical intimacy waining in a marriage is to ask why?  I have to admit it seems like an almost impossible question to ask since I haven't yet.  It makes sense though.  I want to know, is it me?  Is it because I've let myself go and am no longer attractive?  Has she just lost the desire?  Is there anything we can do to bring back that spark (guessing in the dark is just pointless).  If you love me but you just don't find interest in it anymore, short of having an affair, what might she be OK with you doing to satisfy my needs?  Is joining an adult erotic story forum acceptable?    What about chatting with someone online?  You never know, there might be that unbelievably rare answer of, "I love you honey and want you to be fulfilled.  Go have fun as long as you are careful, I know what's going on and you always come home to me."  OK, I know that's a hell of a stretch, but we're never going to know the answers if we don't ask.  Someone once said to me, if you don't ask, the answer is always no.

     As was stated earlier, we're all here to talk to.  Check out one of my first posts, 'Am I alone in the depth of my dpravity.'  You'll realize your in the right place.

[Colin Piper]

Hi, on a similar thread I believe I said "join the club" 

This is common. It's probably part of the reason a lot of us are here.

Kids, and for those of us that are a little older, menopause (I'm not blaming!), contribute to this.

One way I've found to get the sexy back is for both partners to lose weight and get in shape, if you can. Maybe cut down on the booze too, if you drink. If neither of these are an issue for either of you then it may just be that exhausting when-kids-are-young phase, and things may get better over time. But you have to make an effort - date nights, nights out in a hotel etc.

But bear in mind, long term, it comes with the territory as we get older.

[HistBuff]

Hi,

I feel better just knowing I'm not alone.
Stacy knows about my wife being "ace" asexual. In fact, my problem is not unlike the one faced by guys whose wife "shut down" a bit after having kids or after menopause.

My wife simply doesn't have those crazy sexual urges that we depict so often in movies (and erotica stories).
We communicate a lot. I talk to her, very calmly, about how I feel and how I love being near here and touching her. It's just not the sex that is important to me, it is also touching her and feeling near her. Kissing her feels amazing, but she has a very low threshold beyond which she feels uncomfortable.

Tonight, I cuddled her and kissed her very gently on the neck when we stood by the kitchen sink. I will presently phone her from the office and let her know that I really enjoyed this. I don't want her to think that I would have wanted more. She gets anxious about this! She loves me and feels inadequate when she perceives that she's not making me happy, but she also has boundaries. Thus, I'll phone her.

I do jack off quite a bit.
I have fantasies that are not to be lived out for obvious reasons. If you read my pre-purge story, you know what they are! If you haven't, ask Staci! Hello Staci! 

Have a great evening!

HistBuff

[msslave]

 Yep I was there. Was in my early 60s when wife hit menopause. Felt like a switch was flipped. In retrospect it   slowly developed over a couple years.

Like you I was left with taking things "in hand". I did have some glory hole experience before we met. Only took a couple years before I connected with a group of guys in the same boat. There were regular meetings and for all I know it's still going on.

It's not something I'm suggesting or even offering as a solution... it's just what I found. You are getting some relief from your stories and we know what a great writer you are. Just hang in there.

[HistBuff]

Yep I was there. Was in my early 60s when wife hit menopause. Felt like a switch was flipped. In retrospect it   slowly developed over a couple years.

Like you I was left with taking things "in hand". I did have some glory hole experience before we met. Only took a couple years before I connected with a group of guys in the same boat. There were regular meetings and for all I know it's still going on.

It's not something I'm suggesting or even offering as a solution... it's just what I found. You are getting some relief from your stories and we know what a great writer you are. Just hang in there.

Thanks, msslave!

I don't want to comment on stories that are now forbidden by current rules, but some scenes really aroused me and I did get some relief out of it. I'm a lot more at peace now that I have other sites where such writing is allowed.

I'm also happy to drop by here and talk about my sexual issues. This is the right place and the right people.

I'll keep posting story chapters here when there's a suitable story. The one with Elizabeth Sellars is fine. I love describing how she drives her rental '52 Chevy, and ageing up the male character is easy to do. This story is consensual from the start. I hope we won't get any more shutdowns now that we have undergone such a drastic change.

I can even write new chapters of my Gladiator story and just write how he fucks local wives who seek him out to spend the night with him. Gladiators were really like rock stars in 1st century A.D. and most Roman women were already married at 18 or 19. She could also be 40+. I can even write about a Vestal (!!!) who secretly seeks him out, risking her life just to taste his dick. All of it legal and consensual.

Have a great day!