I am talking about what makes you feel sexy, not what makes you sexy to your partner, though it is obviously a thin line.
I was talking with my wife about this topic, about how when I danced and did a strip tease for her, yes it did turn her on, yes, and it made me appear sexy in her eyes, but what is more important is that it made me feel sexy. It aroused me, made me hard just dancing for her. If it hadn't, what would have been the point?
What also makes me feel sexy is playing blues guitar and turning on this whole BB King/Eric Clapton thing with a little Barry White thrown in. I improvised for my girlfriend last time we were together, right in the moment, making a little speech and then singing along with my Telecaster, and it was some of the best and sexiest guitar playing I have ever done, totally spontaneous and passionate. And it aroused me as much as it did her. (My girl, by the way, was totally wet).