Is Sex On The First Date Bad?

[AB-2007]

Is Sex On The First Date Bad?
By Charlotte Martin


YOU meet a guy for the first time – he’s gorgeous, charming, and so very, very sexy. After a couple of drinks you loosen up, maybe have a quick kiss and agree to coffee back at his.

But would you really hit the sack the minute you got through the door? Well that depends on where in Britain you're from.

New statistics show that women from Cornwall, of all women in Britain, are much more likely to sleep with a man on the first date, while Essex girls are the least likely.

But is a roll in the proverbial with a near stranger completely wrong?

Here, relationship expert, and author of The New Joy of Sex, Susan Quilliam gives her advice on the pros and cons of sex on a first date.

Pros:

1)The excitement factor

“Sex can be more exciting with somebody new, especially a new date who knows only very little about you,” says Susan.

“This ‘novelty factor’ can make the experience more exciting and fulfilling physically.

“So whether you end up trying new things in the bedroom or feeling more confident about your body, this can mean a more electric experience all round.”

2) It’s an ego boost

“He’s smoulderingly handsome and he just had to have your right there, right then – what a turn on!” says Susan.

“Sex with a guy you are meeting for a first date can make you feel like he is super passionate for you, which can make you feel much sexier.”

3) Compatibility sorted

“If you get the sex right on the first date, then you know you are compatible,” says Susan.

“It means that messy period of wondering whether you are really suited is avoided in one night.”

4) Strong statements

“By giving him such an experience on the first date, you are making a strong statement to him that you really want him.

“This, for some men, means they are more motivated to really make a go of things in the long run.”

5) Morning glory

“ You’ve had the night of your lives, then you can really get to know one another,” says Susan.

“Make him breakfast, planning a day out together – waking up next to him will mean you can really get into each others pockets – which could mean you build a stronger relationship in a shorter space of time.”

Cons:

1)The anti-climax

“It may be more passionate and wild, but in reality it’s unlikely that you will climax,” explains Susan.

“Women generally need to feel safe to enjoy sex fully – a man you have just met is unlikely to encourage this feeling”.

2) It’s likely to be unsafe

“You may want a night of hot wild passion, but you may just come out with an STI or a baby on the way,” says Susan.

“How many of us pack a condom on a first date?

"Not many of us.

"Either come prepared or play the waiting game.”

3) That sinking feeling

“No woman can swear that at some point after first-date sex, she hasn't felt empty, ashamed and upset the following day,” says Susan.

“What seems like a good idea in the heat of the moment can result in mixed emotions the following day – and he might not call for a second date, leaving you worried that you gave too much away.”

4) Broken bonds?

“Because you haven’t built the emotional ties as a couple, first-date sex could mean that both of you are more willing to walk away from the relationship,” says Susan.

“What might have blossomed could be over before it’s even began.”

5) It’s your rep on the line

“He may feel you ‘put out’ for anyone and instantly lose respect for you," says Susan.

“This will leave you feeling ashamed and upset, and will mean the relationship is unlikely to move forward.”

[Scotty]

for the first date you talk (write) too much (need something in your mouth)