When you met your beautiful wife, what made you realize that she could be such a beautiful obedient slut? And how long did it take to break down her defenses and get her trained and to know that you really cared about her?
It's a complex question. First, when I met her, she was not the beautiful woman she is now. While she had inner beauty, she was rather plain, and about 15 lbs overweight. When she committed to being my lover and all that entailed, she saw how hard I worked at maintaining a fit, hard body. She realized that to be my partner, she'd have to raise the bar, so I helped her eat healthy, work out every day, and once she started to blossom, dress sexy to show it off. She developed a sense of pride and self esteem and started to enjoy dressing sexy.
On our very first date, I surprised her by stripping her, playing with her nice tits and spanking her ass. She was in shock. Then, I explained how I was a natural dom, and sent her hope with some classics of dom/sub literature to read. I left it totally up to her. If she read the books and didn't feel it was for her, we would part as friends. But if she found that she got excited and wet thinking about being a strong man's slave, then we could explore further. She responded to the idea of being a sub for me, and we started slowly to build up trust. That's the most important, without mutual trust, none of this will work. Once we established a bond based on trust, her training kicked into high gear, and continues to this day. Training never ends, there are always more ways to stretch the envelope. And it's this mutual exploration that keeps it fresh and interesting for both of us.
So I believe tops and bottoms are both born and developed. I don't believe you can make a sub if they don't already have it inside them. However, if that potential is not developed, it can remain hidden forever. For it to be real, it cannot be faked. I don't want a sub to be doing it for me. I want a sub who is doing it for herself as well as for me. A lot of guys don't understand the dynamics and what's involved. Some, frankly, are not worthy of being a top, because they cannot win a woman's trust and devotion. I am not talking about abused people who need punishment. I'm talking about a fully realized woman, who is healthy, well adjusted, successful, who wants to share this secret side of herself with the right top.